Voices from the Past

Three voices from my past visited me this week. They were surprises that delighted my soul!

The first actually began two weeks ago when I received an email from a little sister of a past boyfriend. I had been trying to contact her older sister who is my age. Their brother was killed in Vietnam while I was dating him. Losing contact with the family was easy. We reminded each other of better times, and soon after the funeral we stopped communicating. Through the wonder of email I was able to send a message to her. Yesterday, I opened my inbox to find her much too brief description of her life over the past 36 years. My heart aches to know more! I have hopes of renewing a dear friendship even if only tied together with the email. God has blessed!

The second one also came through the email! A High School friend that reconnected with me briefly at our 40th class reunion last year, emailed me a forward about aprons. She shared some of her memories and I was able to offer her a glimpse of my memories. We also shared a few tidbits about our personal lives! I feel a connection to her that has at times, been stretched very thin over the years. My heart desire is to grow deeper roots with her through correspondence. My life is blessed to know she chose me to share her memories.

The third voice came over the phone. No name came up on the caller id and I was tempted to not answer. I did, and the gentle older woman on the other end of the phone said, "Hello, this is Brigid." I chuckled a bit under my breath and replied, "Brigid, who?" When she told me she was Brigid Flannigan I knew immediately that she was "Sister" Brigid, a former nun who taught me in grade school. She was the choir director and we all loved her, maybe because she was young and full of joy and energy! We had a long talk. I was blessed to know she was sending my Grandbabies #4 and #5 each a blanket she had made. God has filled her life with many interesting adventures and yet she still remembered me and my family! Her desire to be welcomed back into my life was surprising and wonderful!

Voices from the past have brought a rainbow of sweet enjoyment to my week! I treasure the words, written or said, recalling them over and over so I won't forget. These lives have been a part of who I am today, and their voices have made me thankful that I heard them day after day over several years. These voices were not as precious then as they are now. The passing of time has made the sound of their voices an uplifting hymn of praise for a God who gives the best of gifts!

Father I love that You are able to delight me with treasures of relationships and the joy of finding something I thought lost. Thank You for the gifts of these three voices. Thank You for Brigid, Marj, and Linda! You are an awesome and wonderful God!

Knowledge

"Knowledge hurts sometimes!" My granddaughter, Paige, exclaimed the other day. I had to agree with her.

I have pondered her words and I'm reminded that God, Himself, imposed limits on knowledge back in the Garden of Eden. The one tree forbidden to eat of its fruit was the Tree of the Knowledge of good and evil. There is much good to learn in our world. I must agree with God that the Knowledge of Evil hurts. Is there Good that we should not know? Does knowing good hurt also? If our marvelously GOOD God would withhold good from us there must be a reason. There is so much I do not know about the knowledge of good and evil.

I love to learn about this great and wonderful world. I love the life stories of people who have graced our planet and I learn so much from them. I especially enjoy learning about God. Knowledge to me is delightful most of the time, but there are moments when it hurts. When I am forced to change because of the facts presented to me, or when my comfortable world of relationships and circumstances are upended because of a new piece of information, it can hurt. It is then that my Faithful, All-Knowing God makes the knowledge of hurtful things to be good in my life.

Omniscient God and Father, You are always near, leading me and teaching me the things I must know. You give me knowledge of You and I thank You for the privilege of being Your child! When knowledge hurts, Lord, draw me close to You. Guard my mind and thoughts against the evil of this world and watch over me in good times and bad! I love You !

Loving to Learn

I have lived many years. My Granddaughters think I am old! In all my years I have been delighted to learn new things, ponder new ideas and, though change is not easy for me, I will change if I find it to be a good thing.

I am learning new things now that my life is turning in a different direction. Relationships will be different. Surroundings will not be the same. My work will change. I am preparing myself for these changes, but I know that some of the learning will take place as I walk in the new places that God is ordaining for my life.

God will be my teacher. He will lead me by His Spirit. I will know the way is good because of Him!

Learning is fun! Learning is part of living! Learning is a great inheritance! I learned to love learning through my Mom and Dad who taught by example! Thanks Mom and Dad! I love to learn!

Rabbi Jesus, You are the greatest of Teachers! You are the Source of all answers. You wisely gave us a world of wonder and awe to explore! I can never know all that You know, but more than anything I want to know YOU! Thank You for giving me curiosity and questions! I want to learn about You and the world You have given me to explore! Lead me! Teach me!

Truth?

I am blessed with good friends. Friends who really care tell you what they think and will give you their "honest selves." Fred Rogers of Neighborhood fame said that "The best thing you can give others is your honest self." I agree, and I do try my best to let you see the real me.

After reading my last blog entry, a good friend confronted me about my confession to being prideful. She was adamant that she saw no pride in me at all. She provided proof through scripture and through her experience with me. It was humbling to listen to her espouse what she saw as my virtues. After thinking it over, I had a few thoughts of my own: 1. If truth is absolute, we both cannot be right in the assessment of the pride issue of my heart. 2. If I am to give others my honest self, I must also be honest with myself. I must look to God for the truth in my heart. I must accept the true condition of my heart as revealed by God. I must tell myself the truth before I can tell the truth to others.

I must admit that my friend may see only part of my inner life. I do struggle with being puffed up with pride, believing myself to be better than others at times. I don't want to be that way, and so I keep watch over my heart in that matter. When those thoughts come, I do battle and I must say most often I am victorious.

My blog yesterday was a glimpse into my thoughts. It was meant to be more about Jesus' sacrifice of His reputation as God in the flesh for me who failed Him in my sin. So, Yes, I battle pride, the puffed up image of myself as better than others. Yes, I have not lived pridefully towards others. Yes, I gave you my honest self.

Whatever good you might see in me, it is the work of the Holy Spirit. Whatever truth is to be known must come from the God who knows all and discerns the truth in each heart.

God of all knowledge, You see all of who I am! You have knitted me together and You know my strengths and weaknesses. You lead me with love, patience and truth. Thank You for keeping me honest before my dear friends. Teach me to open my heart to You first and to the world with Your direction. I rely on You alone!

Humility in the Flesh

My pride surfaced again the other day. Unfortunately, when my pride raises itself up I don't like what I look like! I had to stand in front of a mirror held out to me by my beloved Savior, and see myself through eyes of truth. Not easy.

I am proud of my good name. I am proud of the reputation I hold in the church and community. It is not easy to let someone elses' failures to reflect on me. But that is exactly what has happened. I saw my pride and then I saw what my Savior Jesus did for me! He took my messed up "Reputation" as His own. He took my failures and let them be on Him!

Jesus has told me to love as He loves me. He is humility in flesh. What am I to do? I am to let His thoughts of me be more important that the thoughts of men. I can rejoice more completely in His sacrifice as I take on my sacrifice for the ones I love. It is a hard lesson, but worth the revelation of God in my life!

Lord Jesus, You are Humble and gentle with sinners. I am a sinner. Thank You for revealing Yourself to me and allowing me to partake of Your suffering, even in such a little way!

Memories

Fathers' Day was a day of memories. We made memories with the family, especially the long awaited reunion of my Son-in-law to his family. Johns' sermon brought memories from long ago. Both are precious treasures hidden away in our minds and hearts.

Smiles, grins, giggles and screams of excitement filled the house! Daddy was home to stay for my Granddaughters! They never thought the day would come, but it did. It came with the power of God who protected and provided! Joy flooded our hearts and filled the house with happy noise! Memories of faces and voices delighted with the day will be treasured.

Strong healing memories of my Daddy flooded my mind during Pastor Johns' sermon. I will never forget my Dads' call to me after an argument that sent me down the road, determined never to come back. "Carolynn, Come home!" he called. It is what I needed and wanted to hear. A tender memory of love, forgiveness and reunion.

Memories. We never want to lose them! We hold on to them long after the day is gone. They are worth more than all the gold in the world.

Father, You are the best of Dads! You are perfect in dealing with Your children. I don't tell You enough how much I love You for making me Your child. Thank You for watching over my memories. Thank You for the gift of memory! Comfort those who have lost that gift and restore to them the joy of knowing the good You have brought into their lives! Teach me to treasure the gift always.

Living Abundantly

We are a busy people. When asked how we are doing, we so often reply that we are busy and much is happening in our lives. It is true! We are busy.

I awoke this morning making my mental list of things to do and planning for everything we want to do this summer. The list is long! Even this blog is on my list. Listening to God as I went through my list, I heard Him say that my life is full. I had to agree. My cup overflows!

I admit I sometimes would like less overflowing from my cup, but when I think of it, I certainly look at each activity as a gift. I am living life fully! I live life in relationship with Jesus, family and friends. I live a life of abundance that demands stewardship. I live a life of communication that compels me to share.

Are you busy? Maybe we all need to change our "Busy" response to the "How are you?" question, and make it "Full!" We are blessed and God is giving us abundant life. Let us make the most of every day, especially in building our relationship with God and others!

God, my Father, You are More than I could ever dream! You are the Fullness of everything good! I am not proud of the way I sometimes push away Your abundance in my life. I know that relationship is important to You and I do not always make time for those dear people You have given me. Thank You for my family and friends. Show me how to treasure them in my heart and make time for them in my full life! You are so Good!