Decision

As the time ends for a chapter in our life, I look back and wonder if we made the wrong decision. Was our charity and sticking to our word as wrong as others have said? I ponder all the years, and I have no regrets, though there were some very difficult times. The day is drawing near to when the commitment is over. It is time to move on.

Our daughter and grandladies have lived with us for 9 years. Now that they are moving I am rethinking my very stubborn stand to see our promise stand true to the end. We've experienced the frustrations and irritations of having them around, but we gave our word and we would see it through. We have also had the most wonderful times with our Grandladies as they have grown. Those treasured moments are far more valuable than our own pleasures.

The decision to give them a home has been criticized by most everyone we know. I feel very alone in believing this was the right thing to do. My prayers over the years never drew us away from the decision we made. Did I not hear God? Did I shut my ears to His direction? It is possible, but it will be a judgement made by the righteous judge, not by me or anyone else. But I still wonder. My heart was and is right and steadfast, I am not sure that others see that. I would have followed if my husband had been determined to send them away. I am so glad we worked through it together.

This weekend they will move as a family to a place where I pray they will be safe, find peace, and blessings abundant. I am happy for them even if a part of me is sad. I will miss my Grandladies. I hope they will remember that we have given them the treasure of our hearts. We have shown them the importance of living for Jesus. At least I hope that is what we did.

Father, You love like no other! You know my heart and my thoughts. You know if we did right or wrong in our decision. The time has come for the end and I am happy and sad all at once. Help me to set my eyes on You and Your plan just as I have these past years. Thank You for giving me what I have always wanted: being close to my children and grandchildren. You are so good and I know that even if our decision was wrong, You have promised that because we love You, You will make it all work out for our good. Thank You.

Change and Yellow Roses

Change seems to be the word to describe these next couple of weeks, months or maybe the year for our family. It begins this weekend when my daughter and her family will be moving from our home to their own place. It has been a long time, and it will be very new for all of us. The change will be a relief and difficult at the same time.

I want change for me too. I want a new place to call my own. I want it, not because I am dissatisfied with this house, but because without kids it is much too big for just the two of us. I imagine it will be like a huge cavern with the kids gone. I wonder if there will be echos. Will I wander about the empty rooms wondering why I have no one to blame for the messes?

Change. I do not find change easy. I hunt for smooth transitions and meaningful ways to celebrate the change. It helps to ease my heavy heart at letting go and embracing the new. With this change I think I want yellow roses. Why? I don't know. I watched a documentary Entitled Yellow Roses. It was about young girls finding their sense of identity and worth. I am not sure the yellow roses would be that for me, but maybe. One thing is sure, Yellow roses are my favorites! They cheer me up. Yes, I want yellow roses for myself and maybe to give to my Grandladies as they move to a new home. Maybe yellow roses will cheer them too!

Father, I know You are watching as we step into this new place. You know our hearts. You know our hesitancy to change. If there will be tears I know You will treasure them and weep with us. You will be our comforter, protector and friend. You will make all of this work out for our good. Thank You for being near while we change our lives into new places. We need You now and always!