Looking within my heart is tough. It is most difficult after I've been accused by the devil or someone I care about. It is tough to hear my failing from God, also, but He brings love and forgiveness along with His correction.
I've been searching through my relationships, my actions and my thoughts to see if there is any thing within me that goes against what I know to be true. I haven't liked everything I have seen. It makes me sad and I know repentance is the cure.
Some of the questions I have asked myself are:
* Am I being transparent and totally honest with myself, my husband, family, and friends?
* Am I being kind and loving in the honest communication I am involved in?
* Am I doing what I know I should ? Am I obedient to God in what He has revealed in His word and in His urgings throughout my day?
* Are my thoughts centered on the truth and what is good and pure? Am I choosing to forgive others and put them higher than myself?
There are more questions, but you get the idea. Tough questions. Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes I must confront myself more than I'd like to confront others!
My truth rests in God. He sheds light in the dark places of my heart. He reveals my failings only because He loves me. He is with me in the revelation, in the decision, in the repentance, and in the healing and restoration. Unlike those who would point accusing fingers, He opens His arms to welcome me into His embrace.
O Ancient of Days, You alone have the right to judge. You judge rightly! You are merciful, loving and faithful in Your judgements.You are truth! I fail so often along the way to the eternal home You have provided. I need Your presence to lead me into truth and to make me more like Your Son Jesus. Thank You for being God! Thank You for the power to overcome by the blood of The Lamb and the word of my testimony. I trust You! "Search me O God, and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)
Showing posts with label repentance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label repentance. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hard Week Changed
It has been a hard week for me. I felt as if I were being squeezed by a python! All sorts of extra chores, extra frustrations, and to top it off I was not doing well handling it. My attitude was self centered. I deliberately disobeyed God and then was told by other Christians not to be too hard on myself.
I am looking back over my failed week only to see what lessons I must learn from these experiences. Here is what I've come up with.
* I must get more rest, eat properly and exercise .
* When my circumstances overwhelm me it is time to stop and get alone with God...not wait for a convenient time.
* Put more gratitude into my day.
* Let repentance happen no matter what others say.
I must say that this last lesson is an important one that I never considered doing otherwise. I was, however, surprised to think that believers could so easily dismiss sin in my life or their own! It saddens me when I confess my sin and the other party tells me not to be too hard on myself. I believe in balance and I believe it is my place to bring my sin to the cross, cry over my failures if I must and then allow Jesus to wash me in His blood and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
It is not my place to shrug my shoulders and say, that it is okay because I am not perfect. I think that it is difficult to change our sinful behaviors without feeling the pain we cause God, others or self. I want to change and repentance is part of the change!
Change starts in me when I:
1. see my sin for what it is
2. truly understand what my sin is causing to God, others and self
3. cry out for forgiveness and help
4. receive the grace that God gives so freely!
Father, Thank You for letting me unload my sin onto Your Son! Thank You for being there to hear me. Thank You for loving me and accepting me even though I fail often. Thank You for healing me and setting me free from the bondage of my sin! You alone have the power to change my life! I choose You. Please live through me and in me!
I am looking back over my failed week only to see what lessons I must learn from these experiences. Here is what I've come up with.
* I must get more rest, eat properly and exercise .
* When my circumstances overwhelm me it is time to stop and get alone with God...not wait for a convenient time.
* Put more gratitude into my day.
* Let repentance happen no matter what others say.
I must say that this last lesson is an important one that I never considered doing otherwise. I was, however, surprised to think that believers could so easily dismiss sin in my life or their own! It saddens me when I confess my sin and the other party tells me not to be too hard on myself. I believe in balance and I believe it is my place to bring my sin to the cross, cry over my failures if I must and then allow Jesus to wash me in His blood and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.
It is not my place to shrug my shoulders and say, that it is okay because I am not perfect. I think that it is difficult to change our sinful behaviors without feeling the pain we cause God, others or self. I want to change and repentance is part of the change!
Change starts in me when I:
1. see my sin for what it is
2. truly understand what my sin is causing to God, others and self
3. cry out for forgiveness and help
4. receive the grace that God gives so freely!
Father, Thank You for letting me unload my sin onto Your Son! Thank You for being there to hear me. Thank You for loving me and accepting me even though I fail often. Thank You for healing me and setting me free from the bondage of my sin! You alone have the power to change my life! I choose You. Please live through me and in me!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Confession and Repentance
After my last post I had purposed to love my family out of love, not duty. As the saying goes, "Easier said, than done."
After dinner last night, I began to put away the leftovers and began fixing a lunch for my beloved, when he proceeded to tell me how he wanted his lunch fixed. Self rose up, and though I was doing as he asked I certainly was not doing it out of love. It became a chore, because I had already had most things wrapped up and/or put away. Extra steps for ME! Self looked very unloving and he finally arose and finished his own by adding the gravy.
This situation has opened my eyes to the lack of love in me. I cannot love on my own. I must have God-love in me. My love can be drained and poured away. God-love is never ending. The more of His love I offer, the more I have to give. (Maybe I need to really believe this before I can live it. This, too, is a revelation of my darkened heart. I need You, Lord! I need You always!)
I now submit and admit to You, God, that I did not serve out of love and certainly there was no humility in me. I offended You, my Savior. You have asked me to follow You, and I fell short of Your example. I was wrapped up in me. I was not willing to allow You, Holy Spirit, to move through me to minister love to my hardworking husband.
To you, my man, to whom I have vowed love and respect and honor, I ask you to forgive my lack of love for you. I do not want to serve you out of duty but to serve you through the love of Christ and the love I hold in my heart for you.
After dinner last night, I began to put away the leftovers and began fixing a lunch for my beloved, when he proceeded to tell me how he wanted his lunch fixed. Self rose up, and though I was doing as he asked I certainly was not doing it out of love. It became a chore, because I had already had most things wrapped up and/or put away. Extra steps for ME! Self looked very unloving and he finally arose and finished his own by adding the gravy.
This situation has opened my eyes to the lack of love in me. I cannot love on my own. I must have God-love in me. My love can be drained and poured away. God-love is never ending. The more of His love I offer, the more I have to give. (Maybe I need to really believe this before I can live it. This, too, is a revelation of my darkened heart. I need You, Lord! I need You always!)
I now submit and admit to You, God, that I did not serve out of love and certainly there was no humility in me. I offended You, my Savior. You have asked me to follow You, and I fell short of Your example. I was wrapped up in me. I was not willing to allow You, Holy Spirit, to move through me to minister love to my hardworking husband.
To you, my man, to whom I have vowed love and respect and honor, I ask you to forgive my lack of love for you. I do not want to serve you out of duty but to serve you through the love of Christ and the love I hold in my heart for you.
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