Buried

What do you have buried in your past? What do you strive to bury each day?

I know that each person has secrets. We all have things in our past that we do not want others to know. We want them buried and stay buried! I have secrets that only a few people know. I am not proud of the choices I made in the past, nor am I ready to volunteer their stories! I intentionally hide them.

I also have things I strive to bury each day; feelings, fears, shortcomings. I try to bury them under lies or stuff them down with addictive behaviors. I find myself in a battle to face them and deal with them properly. I know it is not good to bury feelings and insecurities under bad habits, but some days it just seems so much easier than to look them in the eye and bring them under the Lordship of Christ. Unfortunately, I never win when I bury them in a secret place.

There is a victory waiting when I agree with Jesus about my buried past and my daily grave digging. He reminds me that His burial was the burial of all my sin! He reminds me that He gives me His life and friendship even when everything around me seems to swallow me.

Through him my past is buried. It is through Him that my daily funerals can become doorways into a life lived for him! I no longer need to fear the digging up of my past, because, though it was buried, I am now changed and made new! I no longer need to live to hide my true self. I am free to cast off the grave digger clothes and put on His powerful armor that allows me to be transparent and real to myself. I am safe from those demons I feared to face.

Lord Jesus, You are my Savior and Lord. You are my protector and my deliverer. I am sometimes a frightened child, not knowing where to turn. I want to hide from the world, from You! But You see me! You see and still love. You see and still reveal Yourself to me! Thank You for taking my sin with You into the grave. Thank You.

Secrets

I just "whispered" a secret in an email to my family. I tucked it into the last line and even now I hope they do not make a big fuss about it.

I've kept the news to myself because my heart needed time to catch up. My heart is still tender about it, but I will be okay.

I am learning that I do not always need to tell everything to everyone, right away. Sometimes it is best for me that the secret is kept, but other times it is best for them. This time my secret may hurt their feelings a bit, because I didn't tell earlier, but I needed to hold on to the information for my heart comfort.

It all reminds me of one of my favorite poems.The poem is "Hold Fast Your Dreams " by Louise Driscoll. The first stanza goes like this:

Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one still and secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And sheltered so,
May thrive and grow
Where doubt and fear are not.
O keep a place apart,
Within your heart,
For little dreams to go!

My secret wasn't a dream, but it does have a dream wound around it. That dream still needs a secret place so I will keep it there until I must let it go.