Valentine's Day is said to have been a remembrance of St. Valentine. He was sent to prison for proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ. While in prison he would write love notes to those on the outside. The notes encouraged others to also share their love and the love of God. It is a beautiful story.
The commercialization of Valentine's Day has disquised the love note into expensive, gifts, fancy flowers, over-indulgent candies and greeting cards. I admit it is not easy to write a love note. I am a writer, and I struggle to find the right words, so I understand the frantic rush to find just the right gift or card to say "I love you!" I also admit that for a short time the gift, flowers, candy or card does make us feel warm and loved. Maybe the bigger the gift the longer the feeling lasts, but a token of our love for someone can never replace the daily faithful loving expressions between true lovers.
Most T.V., movies, and commercials would have us believe that true love must be expressed by money spent. On this day after Valentine's Day I would have to say that the expression of love goes much deeper. Love can be simply expressed in the quiet moments sitting near by and enjoying the presence of love. It is the simple times of sharing your day and knowing the other person is really listening. It is being willing to step into the other persons' life, good and bad, and not walking away. It may not be easy to say "I love you," but it is simple. It is a simple choice to put the other person first.
Wonderful Loving God, You are high and lifted up! You deserve our love. You have every right to demand our attention and our devotion. You gave us Your Son and Valentine who loved Him enough to follow His example. They gave unselfishly to others. They put others first so that they might know they were loved. Thank You! Teach us, Lord to love simply. Fill us with Your Spirit of Love so that we might turn away from our selfish desires. Help us to love You as You deserve.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Conversation Hearts
Last night Patrick and I had a sweet conversation. We connected in a special way. We didn't need the little conversation heart candies to spark the conversation though. We simply slid into that relaxed open and honest place where we could be totally vulnerable with each other. I'd like to say that happens every day, but it wouldn't be as special if it did.
Vulnerable hearts are not only ready to share honest thoughts, but they also listen to honest words from the one they love and trust. Easy? Not always. I know that I can quickly put up my defenses if I am not willing to love with openness. I must decide to see, hear, speak and feel truth, and I can only do that with God's love flowing through me.
Patrick and I spoke about love and our understanding of the threefold cord God says is so hard to break. We have loved that scripture throughout our marriage. (Eccl. 4:12) It has been our promise to one another in that we have decided to let God be the third cord in our marriage. Conversing about God's cord that entwines with ours, reinforces our choice to love. That is what made the conversation so sweet. Allowing ourselves to vulnerably reveal our dependancy on God to make our love live, made the evening conversation blessed. Our hearts were given to God and one another in conversation, or should I say prayer?
Word of God, You are the third cord that binds us together in love. You are the Trinity of strength, perfection and love that we need. We cannot love without You present in our lives. Thank You for the strength You bring to those who need Your love. We need You. Fill our hearts with words of love for You and for one another.
Vulnerable hearts are not only ready to share honest thoughts, but they also listen to honest words from the one they love and trust. Easy? Not always. I know that I can quickly put up my defenses if I am not willing to love with openness. I must decide to see, hear, speak and feel truth, and I can only do that with God's love flowing through me.
Patrick and I spoke about love and our understanding of the threefold cord God says is so hard to break. We have loved that scripture throughout our marriage. (Eccl. 4:12) It has been our promise to one another in that we have decided to let God be the third cord in our marriage. Conversing about God's cord that entwines with ours, reinforces our choice to love. That is what made the conversation so sweet. Allowing ourselves to vulnerably reveal our dependancy on God to make our love live, made the evening conversation blessed. Our hearts were given to God and one another in conversation, or should I say prayer?
Word of God, You are the third cord that binds us together in love. You are the Trinity of strength, perfection and love that we need. We cannot love without You present in our lives. Thank You for the strength You bring to those who need Your love. We need You. Fill our hearts with words of love for You and for one another.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Making a Choice
One of the hardest things to tell young people in love is that love is a choice you make daily, not a feeling or emotion you hope will last forever.
When Patrick and I talk to young couples in love, we always tell them about love as a choice.
We often ask those we counsel if they think Jesus felt the sweet tingly feeling of new love when He hung on the cross. They can't imagine that, but we know that He was on the cross because of His great love for us. No, He did not feel gushy mushy kind of feelings for us while He was tortured, but He did love us.
The same holds true for married couples. When we are hurt by our mates, we do not feel tenderhearted or the emotion of love for them. But we can always choose to love despite the hurt. Love can bring us warm tender sweet feelings, but those will not last. I think that is what the wedding vows say. I choose to love you in sickness and health, with riches or in poverty. Whatever comes your way you always have a choice to love. It is not always easy but it is possible.
Our choice to love joins our hearts and our will in an amazing bond. Love truly is the greatest! There is nothing like it! Feelings are made subject to our will when we choose to love. Love does not depend on the other persons' performance, because the choice has been made by the other.
Perfect Love, You are the Giver of the best gift of all: Love. You are the Perfect Love we all seek. Our love falls far short of the perfection You want us to experience, and yet You always love, You always give. Thank You! Open our hearts and our minds to the truth of true love. Guide us to make the right choice, the choice to love like You do!
When Patrick and I talk to young couples in love, we always tell them about love as a choice.
We often ask those we counsel if they think Jesus felt the sweet tingly feeling of new love when He hung on the cross. They can't imagine that, but we know that He was on the cross because of His great love for us. No, He did not feel gushy mushy kind of feelings for us while He was tortured, but He did love us.
The same holds true for married couples. When we are hurt by our mates, we do not feel tenderhearted or the emotion of love for them. But we can always choose to love despite the hurt. Love can bring us warm tender sweet feelings, but those will not last. I think that is what the wedding vows say. I choose to love you in sickness and health, with riches or in poverty. Whatever comes your way you always have a choice to love. It is not always easy but it is possible.
Our choice to love joins our hearts and our will in an amazing bond. Love truly is the greatest! There is nothing like it! Feelings are made subject to our will when we choose to love. Love does not depend on the other persons' performance, because the choice has been made by the other.
Perfect Love, You are the Giver of the best gift of all: Love. You are the Perfect Love we all seek. Our love falls far short of the perfection You want us to experience, and yet You always love, You always give. Thank You! Open our hearts and our minds to the truth of true love. Guide us to make the right choice, the choice to love like You do!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Did He Marry a Jerkette?
I love to talk about love, marriage and the family. Sunday morning services promise to give me much to talk about in the next few weeks. Journey Christian Church is doing a series on marriage. Yesterday's title was "How Not to Marry a Jerk (or Jerkette)."
Like most everyone in the church yesterday, I set my mind to find out if I had married a jerk. I KNOW I didn't, but there are times when my Sweetheart of a husband has fallen into that category. Looking back, I must admit I was ready to put him there again if the occasion arose. It wasn't long after I began taking notes however, that I began to hear a small whisper asking me if I might have been the Jerkette when we got married. OH no! I couldn't have heard that right, could I?
I must admit that I brought baggage into our marriage, and I tried my best to hide it away in a back closet. It wasn't long before my entire wardrobe was revealed. I had a lot of old clothes that should have long ago found a new place. I hope you understand that I am not really talking about clothes here. I am talking about my past experiences, beliefs, quirks and habits. The question is did all that baggage make me into a Jerkette?
I don't have a definitive definition for Jerk/Jerkette so I don't think I can say yes or no to my question. One thing I do know is that in order to make the best use of this marriage sermon series I must keep my mind open to MY part of the marriage, not his! I heard Creflo Dollar once say that, it is not the way his wife loves him that he needs to worry about. It is the way he loves her. I agree. If I am to love unconditionally, I must love the best I possibly can, no matter what his love looks like.
God of Love, You brought Patrick and I together in marriage. We rely on You to lead us through the rough days and rejoice with us in our triumphs. You are love. It is only in Your presence that we can know a love greater than ourselves, and live a love for each other that is honest and lasts. Thank You for sharing Your love, teaching us to live in love, and changing our selfish ideas so that we can love. You are what we need in our marriage. We invite You to be the center of our lives.
Like most everyone in the church yesterday, I set my mind to find out if I had married a jerk. I KNOW I didn't, but there are times when my Sweetheart of a husband has fallen into that category. Looking back, I must admit I was ready to put him there again if the occasion arose. It wasn't long after I began taking notes however, that I began to hear a small whisper asking me if I might have been the Jerkette when we got married. OH no! I couldn't have heard that right, could I?
I must admit that I brought baggage into our marriage, and I tried my best to hide it away in a back closet. It wasn't long before my entire wardrobe was revealed. I had a lot of old clothes that should have long ago found a new place. I hope you understand that I am not really talking about clothes here. I am talking about my past experiences, beliefs, quirks and habits. The question is did all that baggage make me into a Jerkette?
I don't have a definitive definition for Jerk/Jerkette so I don't think I can say yes or no to my question. One thing I do know is that in order to make the best use of this marriage sermon series I must keep my mind open to MY part of the marriage, not his! I heard Creflo Dollar once say that, it is not the way his wife loves him that he needs to worry about. It is the way he loves her. I agree. If I am to love unconditionally, I must love the best I possibly can, no matter what his love looks like.
God of Love, You brought Patrick and I together in marriage. We rely on You to lead us through the rough days and rejoice with us in our triumphs. You are love. It is only in Your presence that we can know a love greater than ourselves, and live a love for each other that is honest and lasts. Thank You for sharing Your love, teaching us to live in love, and changing our selfish ideas so that we can love. You are what we need in our marriage. We invite You to be the center of our lives.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Marriage is Hard Work
When I was dreaming about being married as a young woman, I thought marriage was easy. You fall in love, and stay in love, "Til death do you part." Now that I am living the "Dream" of being married, I know that it is hard work.
It does not take much in the way of time, or issues to cause a marriage to break down. It can be like having a flat tire on a deserted road. Something is said or not said. Things are done or not done. Misunderstood words or actions can be like the nail in the road that punctures the tire. It is time for the couple to get out of the car and fix what is wrong. Walking away in opposite directions may seem like an option, but it isn't. Others who might pass the same way, may know your vehicle and wonder why it was abandoned, or the children might be left sitting in the back seat wondering where they should go to be safe. It is the little things that, when ignored, will become a major problem in the end.
My husband, Patrick, and I have taken time to service our marriage like a conscientious car owner might service his cars. We go on dates weekly. We attend marriage enrichment seminars. We read books about marriage. Recently we began reading the book, "Living in Love" by James and Betty Robison. Patrick bought them for us for Christmas. We each have a copy so we can read on our own, answer the questions and then come together to discuss. It is a good way to repair damage done and do a little preventive maintenance.
I look forward to the next sermon series on marriage that John will begin on Sunday. The church and our country need the solid foundation of strong marriages. Tough times put stress on relationships, but there are helps. We are all affected by the marriages that fail. We are also affected by those marriages that last a loving lifetime.
God is the author of the marriage covenant. He even designed it to work between Himself and the church. He is the source of strength between a couple, or the hammer and nails that can repair them. He is the third cord that makes the couple not easily broken. (see Eccl.4:9-12)
Threefold Cord, God and author of the marriage covenant, You made us so different and yet, You desire for us to live together as one. You are Love, and You ask us to love one another as You have loved the church. It is hard sometimes, Lord. It is so easy to walk away from the hard work it takes to be the sign of Your love in the world. Help our marriages to grow. Help us to live our lives for a greater purpose than our own. Thank You for supplying us with Your word, Your grace, and Your love. Make us like You!
It does not take much in the way of time, or issues to cause a marriage to break down. It can be like having a flat tire on a deserted road. Something is said or not said. Things are done or not done. Misunderstood words or actions can be like the nail in the road that punctures the tire. It is time for the couple to get out of the car and fix what is wrong. Walking away in opposite directions may seem like an option, but it isn't. Others who might pass the same way, may know your vehicle and wonder why it was abandoned, or the children might be left sitting in the back seat wondering where they should go to be safe. It is the little things that, when ignored, will become a major problem in the end.
My husband, Patrick, and I have taken time to service our marriage like a conscientious car owner might service his cars. We go on dates weekly. We attend marriage enrichment seminars. We read books about marriage. Recently we began reading the book, "Living in Love" by James and Betty Robison. Patrick bought them for us for Christmas. We each have a copy so we can read on our own, answer the questions and then come together to discuss. It is a good way to repair damage done and do a little preventive maintenance.
I look forward to the next sermon series on marriage that John will begin on Sunday. The church and our country need the solid foundation of strong marriages. Tough times put stress on relationships, but there are helps. We are all affected by the marriages that fail. We are also affected by those marriages that last a loving lifetime.
God is the author of the marriage covenant. He even designed it to work between Himself and the church. He is the source of strength between a couple, or the hammer and nails that can repair them. He is the third cord that makes the couple not easily broken. (see Eccl.4:9-12)
Threefold Cord, God and author of the marriage covenant, You made us so different and yet, You desire for us to live together as one. You are Love, and You ask us to love one another as You have loved the church. It is hard sometimes, Lord. It is so easy to walk away from the hard work it takes to be the sign of Your love in the world. Help our marriages to grow. Help us to live our lives for a greater purpose than our own. Thank You for supplying us with Your word, Your grace, and Your love. Make us like You!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Black History Month
February is Black History Month. I think it is amazing to remember that Black History is not just a history of slavery. It is rich in every area of life, just as is every color race and creed! I am happy to celebrate the contributions of my dark skinned brothers and sisters. I will pray for the healing of the wrongs done to them by slavery, but stand amazed that through it all they have given so much to our country.
In every trial we can draw from God's grace and strength to overcome the temptations to become victims. We have opportunities to change the world around us even in the middle of hard times. The question arises for us now. Will the oppression against our Christian faith, the struggles of economic uncertainties, and other trials spur us on to live better or become bitter?
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my
salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15
Like the slaves of old who brought forth good fruit of their labors to make our lives better, I want to produce good fruit in good and bad times. My dark skinned brothers and sisters are an example for me to follow. They used their God given unique gifts to create the tools to do the tasks they were assigned. Their contributions throughout history serve us well. It is now my turn to make a meaningful contribution to the world.
Oh Creatively rich God, You have filled our world with diversity and treasures. We have often tried to trample down those we see as different. We have used others to make our way to the top. Forgive us, Lord! Thank You for revealing truth to us when we seek You and not our own superiority. Teach us to humble ourselves before You. May You be lifted high!
In every trial we can draw from God's grace and strength to overcome the temptations to become victims. We have opportunities to change the world around us even in the middle of hard times. The question arises for us now. Will the oppression against our Christian faith, the struggles of economic uncertainties, and other trials spur us on to live better or become bitter?
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my
salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15
Like the slaves of old who brought forth good fruit of their labors to make our lives better, I want to produce good fruit in good and bad times. My dark skinned brothers and sisters are an example for me to follow. They used their God given unique gifts to create the tools to do the tasks they were assigned. Their contributions throughout history serve us well. It is now my turn to make a meaningful contribution to the world.
Oh Creatively rich God, You have filled our world with diversity and treasures. We have often tried to trample down those we see as different. We have used others to make our way to the top. Forgive us, Lord! Thank You for revealing truth to us when we seek You and not our own superiority. Teach us to humble ourselves before You. May You be lifted high!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
List of Thoughts
Today I watched the movie, "What If?" It was similar to "It's a Wonderful Life," but with one twist. The main character, Ben, was visited by an angel who took him from his high-powered executive life to his purposed life of being a preacher and family man. In his experience of visiting his purposed life, he was recognized by people in that life, but he did not recognize them. When trying to return to his life as an executive, he recognized those he had worked with, but they did not know him. He not only had two lives to choose from, but he was a different man in each reality.
In one scene of the movie, Ben is talking to his wife. He wants his exciting life back, but he does not know how. His wife asks why the Ben Walker he is talking about is doing here with her. He says he has to figure that out for himself.
This movie seemed to bring together some seemingly random thoughts I had over the last few days. It was a great movie to watch after Pastor John's Sunday sermon. Ben Walker had not found his "Sweet spot," as John would say. He worked hard and seemed to be successful, but was not honoring God in his work. He was meant to be a preacher and family man. That was were his sweet spot was. There was a greater purpose for him. He needed to find that purpose for himself (with the help of God's messenger.)
I also read a letter from James Robison. In his letter, he used the phrase, "Dangerously awake." That was a phrase to ponder. In a way Ben became dangerously awake to the truth of the life he was living and the life he should be living. The thoughts of "what ifs," "sweet spots," and being "dangerously awake" make me aware that the strengths God put into me are precious life-satisfying, God-glorifying tools.
The strengths we observe in one another are the expression of God's DNA passed on to us through our creation. Our weaknesses exist so that we yield to God in relationship to fulfill the assignments we are given. Learning to live with both is an adventure of loving God, ourselves and others.
Creator God, You have proven that You desire a connection with Your creation. You have given us strengths that show the world a part of You. You have allowed us to be weak so that we will seek after You and rely on You to make a difference. Please forgive us when in our pride we strive to erase our weakness or hide it away. Forgive us also when we think our strengths belong to us alone. Thank You for being strong and sharing your strength with us whenever we ask. We ask now to be filled with the truth of who You are in our lives! We need You!
In one scene of the movie, Ben is talking to his wife. He wants his exciting life back, but he does not know how. His wife asks why the Ben Walker he is talking about is doing here with her. He says he has to figure that out for himself.
This movie seemed to bring together some seemingly random thoughts I had over the last few days. It was a great movie to watch after Pastor John's Sunday sermon. Ben Walker had not found his "Sweet spot," as John would say. He worked hard and seemed to be successful, but was not honoring God in his work. He was meant to be a preacher and family man. That was were his sweet spot was. There was a greater purpose for him. He needed to find that purpose for himself (with the help of God's messenger.)
I also read a letter from James Robison. In his letter, he used the phrase, "Dangerously awake." That was a phrase to ponder. In a way Ben became dangerously awake to the truth of the life he was living and the life he should be living. The thoughts of "what ifs," "sweet spots," and being "dangerously awake" make me aware that the strengths God put into me are precious life-satisfying, God-glorifying tools.
The strengths we observe in one another are the expression of God's DNA passed on to us through our creation. Our weaknesses exist so that we yield to God in relationship to fulfill the assignments we are given. Learning to live with both is an adventure of loving God, ourselves and others.
Creator God, You have proven that You desire a connection with Your creation. You have given us strengths that show the world a part of You. You have allowed us to be weak so that we will seek after You and rely on You to make a difference. Please forgive us when in our pride we strive to erase our weakness or hide it away. Forgive us also when we think our strengths belong to us alone. Thank You for being strong and sharing your strength with us whenever we ask. We ask now to be filled with the truth of who You are in our lives! We need You!
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