Sibling Rivalry

Today, Matt Sanders, our Family pastor at Journey Christian Church, began a series about the family. The series is called "Picture Perfect." Todays sermon was thought provoking. It took us through the family dynamics of Jacob's 12 sons.

When reading or studying scripture I like to find the place where my life intersects with God's word. The story of Joseph has always given me some insight into God, His plan, and lessons for me. Today was no exception. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper truth to me. That is always a blessing, though not always easy!

When we first see Joseph in the Bible, he is a favored child of Jacob. He gets a special coat to wear and has the attention and the love of his father. I could hear the Holy Spirit tell me that I have always wanted to be a favorite as well. I am the second oldest child of a brood of seven. I was not the coddled youngest, nor the relied upon oldest. I was just second and always wanting to be first in line and in the hearts of my parents. O, yes, they loved me, but the love was different than the love of the firstborn and the last! In my eyes they had a special place. So, I was always wanting something I didn't have or be someone I wasn't.

I wondered if there might be another family for which I would be best suited back then, but Matt confirmed that God has determined our families. He has put us in the place that He wants us. Yes, He even placed me as a second child in a group of seven. He has a plan and He gave me a job. As Matt said: "Do what only You can do." Hm, what is it that only I can do in my family? I'll be giving that more thought. But on to the story.

Because Joseph was favored by his Father, he became hated by his brothers. Joseph didn't help matters. He shared his grand dreams of ruling over the family with his already jealous siblings. Again, I could put myself in the place of Joseph. I had dreams. I wanted to be first, didn't I? I may have even spoken out about my dreams to my sisters and brothers. Today I thought about how my arrogance and pride may have caused those rifts between family members that are so hard to mend. Oh my, The Holy Spirit can step on my toes sometimes!

Josephs brothers made a terrible decision to kill Joseph, but ended up selling him into slavery. They had no idea that their plan was also part of God's plan. God would use their ruthless deed against Joseph to set up the preservation of the entire family. I have been in the sandals of the brothers too. I sometimes wanted to kill or at least do something mean to those who seemed to command the better position in the family. Oh my, I am in need of a Savior!

Circumstances can cause families to fall apart or come back together. It took some doing to make that happen for Jacob's children. A severe drought, Joseph forgiving the wrongs against him, and repentant hearts of the brothers all came together to bring a group of related people back into being a family. I want to be the forgiving person, the repentant sinner who offers kindness to others in my family. I sometimes am that person, but sometimes I am not. I need to work on this.

The lesson learned? God put me into the family I belong to and He expects me to do what only I can do in that family! It may not be a perfect family but by God's grace it is the perfect family for me!

Father God, You designed and ordained the family unit. In wisdom You joined each person to others so that Your plan could be fulfilled for each of them and for the world around them. Forgive us, Father, for not trusting You and for taking out our misunderstandings on those who are closest to us. Thank You for each of our family members, in our earthly families and in our church family. Thank You for giving us grace to forgive and giving us all more than enough chances for making it right when we have hurt each other. Bring us to the place where we are united in love and offer forgiveness and grace to all our brothers and sisters. We have received Your forgiveness and grace through our older brother, Jesus. Let us be more like Him!

A Full or Empty Life

I have become attentive to the truth that I can fill up my calendar, yet still live an empty life.

What is the full life? Does it have anything to do with our calendars?

I was introduced to the pregnancy calendar when my daughter announced the soon coming arrival of our first Grandlady. I loved reading everyday’s development of the baby. I prayed specifically every day, for baby’s growth and development,for Mom and the new family.

This past Resurrection Sunday I printed out a new calendar for Grandbaby #6. Every day I look for the growth or changes God is making. I pray for the little person that is being made ready to greet us and the world. I thank God for his/her presence in our family. I give thanks for the favor and grace of being a Grandmother. I enjoy the tremendous joy of life and increase.

We all have come through the days of a pregnancy calendar. Each of us has grown within a womb and made our way to a birth day that began another calendar of counting days, weeks, months and years. Our individual pregnancy calendars are written for us by God, not man. Our purpose and our days of growth are marked on our personal calendar by God’s hand and the ink with which we fill our lives.

God’s hand holds us like the pen and He is poised to write on our calendars, but we have a part to play. We are not just an instrument in His hand. He has given us the privilege of maintaining our lives in surrender to His will. We are the pen. The ink is what we allow to be poured into our lives: friendships, information, experiences, God’s Holy Spirit.

This ink is not only all the outside influences that bombard us, but how we perceive those happenings. The ink is mixed together by our responses. We take in the circumstances of our lives and make them into something positive and usable, or negative and resistant to the full life.

We all know what happens when we cloud the ink with negative thoughts. Our day may become sluggish and thick, not moving smoothly. We even tend to look for the next wrong thing that will happen. It clogs up our minutes and makes our days frustrating. Irritations can make us clam up and become stiff necked to God’s will. We all deal with irritations and our joy is affected by how we perceive those irritations, or how we handle them.

When we search for the gifts within each surrounding moment and give thanks, the ink runs smooth. It does not matter if that moment is complicated or simple. We ourselves make the difference. In each situation we must submit our thinking to the Holy Spirit. We must renew our minds for each circumstance.

We must constantly remind ourselves and each other....to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." I Thessalonians 5:18 ESV It is this that will keep the ink of our lives flowing smoothly. It is with Thanksgiving that we allow God to make our lives full.

Some of us have lived our days wishing for a different beginning, a different past. Some of us live our present thinking only of the future, of what is next, what will come. We prepare for the next hour or day, or week or year, not thinking of the moment that we inhabit now. Like a kid living only for Christmas to arrive, we can miss the fun of each day leading up to the long awaited day. Living life only looking behind or ahead, leaves our days empty. Our calendars may be full, but our moments are choked by some other time.

Life is lived fully in the everyday moments. We must look carefully in order to see the beauty, grace, and love that surrounds us. Discovering grace right now and choosing to enjoy every moment means we must stop….
take time to name the gift that is given…..
write it down…..
draw it…..
paint it……
play it...
and give thanks for it.

We can run fast toward tomorrow, away from life, trying to get things done for our deadline. It is so easy in our fast paced world to blindly fill our days with doing instead of being.

We can ride along on what we did last week, last year or whenever, and easily coast past life. How often do we as Christians retell our salvation story rather than telling with excitement what God has done for us today? But the here and now moments need to be seen. It needs to be filled with our awareness. There is an abundance of grace, thanksgiving and joy to be experienced in the ordinary moments of our day. There is abundant life in the moment if we only look.

Even in the terrible hard places we can find grace and give thanks and experience joy. It is not easy. Loss, fear, pain, make it difficult to see God, but when we discipline ourselves to make it a priority, we can find God writing a growing, revealing, loving event on the calendar of our life.

So what is a full life? I think a full life is one where we are resting surrendered in God’s hand and pouring out the ink of God’s love that fills us from our gratitude (which is our worship.)

Do our calendars play a part in our full lives? I think so. My New Years practice is to set out goals and plans for my year. I do this in prayer with God. This year He revealed His will for me to live with a blank calendar. I am finding Him to fill it with amazing speed and awesome wonder! No, it has not all been good. There have already been losses and pain. But He has been in every event. I have had to look hard at times, but I have found Him. I have lived fully and abundantly with Him, in Him and for Him in these past 4.5 months.

So what is my plan for the upcoming months? One plan is to visit my Mom in Colorado. I am making the plans but I am holding them loosely in my hands. If God postpones my trip, I choose to believe it will be perfect for my calendar.

As writers we can write about the past or future, but we should write for the present. Whatever we choose to write about it still must be done in the here and now. We can only write from what we know, feel and believe at this present time.

Father, we give You thanks for holding all of our minute and days in Your wise Hands. Forgive us when we mistrust Your goodness in everything. You are I AM. You are here in our present and we do not want to miss You. Open our eyes to see, our ears to hear, our hands to feel the gift of Your presence right now. Teach us to live in Your presence every day. Amen.

Tales to Tell

I wish I knew more about my grandparents. I have questions for them that will not be answered in this lifetime. It has taken me too long to realize what I have lost by not knowing their stories. Will my grandchildren also find out too late?

My Dad's Father died of Black Lung before I was born. My Mother's Dad also died before I was born. His death was by his own hand. I had step-grandfathers on my mother's side. I am grateful that they left me memorable stories. Both grandmothers lived long lives, but only one was present to us. Both, however, left their tales for me to enjoy. One was a writer, and through her penned works, I have come to know her in a small way. The other was very active in my life. I heard, first hand, about her exciting adventures and trials. Something was still missing.

My definition of personal stories goes beyond what we have done or seen. The real legend reveals the impact those experiences have on our lives. Emotions felt, lessons learned, and life changes that occurred are the real gems within a life story.

So, how do we share those treasures with our Grands? First, listen for questions. Questions are the open door. I like questions because they don't have to be asked only by the youth. They are great door openers for seniors as well. Once a question has been asked, the short answer is best. Leave room for more questions. Invite the child into your story, don't drag them. (I've learned from experience.) There may be things left unsaid, but what you say will be remembered if you don't push.

We have a wealth of tales to tell. We can recount bible stories that help us or have impacted us. Anecdotes from our own lives are always a crowd pleaser when told with a bit of humor directed at ourselves. Books and articles can become a source of interesting ideas shared. The list goes on and on, from nature stories to the famous or not so well known people that touch our lives. We can always have something worthwhile to say.

Connect to the children and even older grandchildren with feelings. Telling them how we feel and asking them about their emotions tells them that they are important. There is a caution to this, however. We should be careful not to dismiss their feelings. We can accept that they feel a certain way right now, but we must also give them time and space to change.

Our lives interchange. It is a wonderful blessing to a child to tell them how they have been special in our lives. A "Do you remember when we did..." story will always liven up an afternoon.

Finally, look for ways to bring God into the story. Use God's perspective, His attributes, His love for us, or maybe just that He is watching and listening now to bring His presence into the conversation. Do you know He is listening and watching us now?

Father God, The Word and Teller of Your story within our stories, You are so very good! You are our hope when times are tough and our delight when we are filled with joy. We seek Your forgiveness for being so quick to pass by opportunities to share You with those we love so very much, our Grandchildren, preferring to give them things instead of ourselves. Thank You for giving us time with them. Thank You for making the door of questions swing both ways! Thank You for the stories You have given us in Your word, our lives and all around us. You are so generously good to us! Teach us to be the best we can be for all future generations!

Babysitters-Opportunity to Bless

Grandparents don't always choose to be babysitters for their grandchildren, but it is often expected of us. Whether we do or don't, we can all sit with our little ones in special times of giving attention and love.

Romans 12:16 (ESV) says, "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight." Can you imagine with me the picture of a wrinkled, white haired grandparent surrounded by children laughing and listening to one another?

I have had the challenge and privilege of caring for each of my grandladies and grandmen before they started school. Babysitting, for me, has been a daily experience. But there are times now that we are offered the opportunity to spend time with them over night or throughout the weekend.

Recently, we had our oldest Grandladies (ages 13 and 11) visit over night. Memories were made with a walk around the park, a funny movie, shopping for a checker board, a united effort to make a yummy dinner, and then roasting marshmallows over the fire pit. It was wonderful to hear how much they loved spending time with us. Times like these will get fewer, and so we made the most of it. A few planned activities was all it took to make the time remarkable. But the activities do not compare to the conversations and laughter we shared. We enjoyed each other. We had fun!

Some Grandpas and Grandmas live far away from their grands. They are blessed to see them at vacation time or on special family occasions. Others see their children and grandchildren often. Both can enjoy the role of Babysitter. We only need to think out of the box when we find time to sit with our precious little ones.

Those who live across the miles from their grandchildren have many opportunities to communicate today that were not available in the past. Technology makes it possible for us to see each other and spend some quality time together. Taking the time to read or ask questions over the computer could be the path to bonding. For those who feel unable to traverse the electronic maze, I would say, "Try it". You have a chance to be blessed and to be a blessing.

Neighborly grandparents are not limited to time spent reading or playing. Going on special outings or participating in children's art, sports or educational activities as they grow keeps us close and keeps us active as well.

Above all it is most important to enjoy our grandchildren. We should greet them with open arms and send them home with a smile and a promise to see them again soon. Every opportunity with them should be an opportunity to bless them.

A note for those raising grandchildren: It is a difficult task to be both parent and grandparent. In my opinion it is very important to be the best parent you can be for them. Maybe there will be times when you can slip into the role of grandparent and enjoy the bond you have in a different light. Look for those opportunities not only for your sake but theirs as well. Nurturing the unique relationship of grandparent and child is worth it to both parties.

Father God, You open Your arms to all who would come to You. You make the time we spend with You full of new and exciting revelations. I don't spend near as much time as I should with You. I am sorry for that. Thank You for the love You pour out on us every day. Thank You for welcoming all the little children and bringing them close to You. Teach me to be a grandparent like You are a Father to me. You can teach me so much!

Grand Review

I grew up in a family that celebrated life in many ways. We, of course, had the mandatory celebrations for birthdays, weddings, graduations and other significant milestones. We also made other occasions a tradition that is celebrated even to this day.

The Colorado State Fair is held in Pueblo, my hometown. The city would have parades to celebrate the event and hopefully draw people into Fair. Every year, for as long as I can remember, our family has been a part of the Kids Day Parade. Every child in our family that would be in Pueblo on the day of the parade, would be dressed up and urged to either ride the home made float or be the muscle to pull or push it down the street. It was just as much fun for the adults as it was for the kids.

The big adult kids worked hard whipping up costumes and decorating wagons, bikes and scooters in accordance with the theme of the parade. Little hands would be urged to help in any way possible and often added more mess to be cleaned up by the parents. We are proud to boast of winning a lot of trophies over the years. Its a family challenge and a family fun time.

Watching a parade is fun too. Spectators automatically become unofficial judges. We look over the entries giving our opinions as to the execution of the theme and following of the rules. I guess we do this in more than just parades. We do it in life as well.

Parents are judged by their children in how they play their role and follow the rules. Grandparents are subjected to those same judgments by adult children and even the grandchildren. We are paraded before a host of other family and friends who think they know what we should do. In my opinion we can still enjoy participating in the roles and rules of guiding the children along life's highway. It takes knowing a few simple roles and rules that really are flexible and freeing. We will look at some of these things in upcoming blogs.

Father God, You are our Creator. You made us to work in different roles according to who You made us to be. You are also the Lawgiver. You decide the good and bad of our thoughts words and actions. We have so often taken Your place and for this we are sorry. Forgive us. Thank You for the joy and excitement of parades! Thank You for giving us many ways to celebrate You. We need You as our just judge. Our parade of life is Your praise!

Walking in Truth

III John 4 says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

John says what our hearts long for, doesn't he? When our children follow in Jesus' footsteps, we find a joy that exceeds the happiness that comes with trophies, or degrees. We want to know that those who follow us on the road to eternity embrace the truth and tread carefully in order not to not fall to the enemy's deceptions.

Our children's children can be named in this heart longing as well. We all would like to see a long line of followers making their way to their final destination along the road of reality,not fantasy. Followers need leaders. A leader must be walking in truth in order to show others a clear direction. Grandparents can be chief in their families as wizened path finders, if they know the way.

Many times we ask "How?" How can we help lead our families in the right way when we, ourselves, stumble and fall? How can we point them in the right direction when we sometimes don't know which way to go? I suppose that is why I am so glad that God has made a way and given us a guide book to follow. He even sent us a Teacher, and then sent us a Personal Assistant to help us every day.

It is important for us to know that we can begin our walk in the Truth at any time. We can jump off of the circular track of deception and on to the high way. We only need to check out the Book to be introduced to The Teacher and He will send His Helper to get us on the right track.

You, God, are Truth. You are Good. You are The Way to the joy we seek. I am saddened to realize that I walk in circles far too often. I stray from Your truth and wander away from the good You prepare for me every day. Forgive me! I understand that, when I walk in truth, You are filled with joy because You love me and want the best for me. Thank You for providing all I need to walk in the right direction. I need You to be my Teacher, my Father, and my Helper.

Grandparenting

Grandparents go by many names: Nana, Poppop, Grandma, Grandpa, Granny, Pappy, many others and my favorite, Grommers. We may all have different monikers with our grandchildren but we are all enjoying the blessing of life as a grandparent.

Before my children gave me grandchildren, I heard stories of the amazing feeling that came with that gift. I believed these veterans of life's milestones, but truly had no idea until my first grandlady arrived in a flurry of excitement! What was this surprising wonder I felt? I still cannot describe it, but I do know it was and still is a grand feeling.

Stepping into the role of Grandparent brought new roles and new rules. It also brought new privileges and a new purpose. I stumbled through most of these and have had to learn many lessons about the new position I held. I hope to share some of my insights in the next few blogs. I hope you will follow me and enjoy the stuff that makes someone a Grand Parent!

One thing I am sure of is that my heart longs for the joy John spoke about in his third book and verse four: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 4 (ESV)I always add "and grandchildren" though I believe that Johns' words are from God (and He has no grands). And, yes, He does have great joy when ALL His children walk in the truth.

Father, You have many children and no grandchildren, yet, it made You happy to give Your children the gift of being a part of future generations. You are wise and loving. You creatively draw us deeper into You through our relationships with our heritage and our children and their children. Forgive us when we run away from the responsibilities and only want the blessings of grandparenting. Thank You for growing our families and growing us when we are in the truth. Author of the Grand life, teach us our roles, rules, privileges and purpose through Your word. We are here to listen and learn.