This last week I wrote a poem about what was happening within me. Thinking about the process of dying in the natural helped me to maybe understand just a little of the process of dying to self.
There is a procession of organs that "shut down" in the body as it begins to die. Could it be that when we die to ourselves we also go through a procession shutting down our desires and cravings for the things of this world?
Here is my poem. Let me know what you think.
Dying to Self ~ Living in God
In foolish futility
I desperately grasp at
The waters of love
To keep as mine
All I treasure.
I labor to breathe in
The rhythm of the life I’ve made
As I want it.
Drowning in my self knowing,
Falling deeper into the well of me.
I press my heart to
Beat in time with my song,
My self energizing efforts supplying
A flood of little purpose.
I turn cold to this world
Its beauty
Its love
Its truth
Its comforts
Its pain
Its empty promises and false meaning.
i let go
i die to self,
i surrender my self .
You, Father, are the giver of life.
You hold life secure in Your hands.
You are the cup that spills over
Withholding nothing.
You are everlasting love
Pulsing faithfully
With a true and powerful purpose.
You are the breath of life abundant
Flowing in the rhythm of
cleansing and healing,
a refreshing fullness.
You are warm comfort,
Security, goodness and grace.
You wash away the chill of death.
You are perfect peace.
By Carolynn J. Scully
22 February 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Self-Centeredness
Selfishness is a cruel dictator over my life. It demands constant attention and the awareness of my comfort and my desires. Escaping from its dungeon is near impossible without supernatural powers from a greater King.
The newborn is totally self-centered. Life revolves around his needs and wants. Maturity is part of the process of being released from egos' stranglehold. We must learn to wait, be denied, share and even tell ourselves "No." Though this process is a moving away from self as the center, the completion of the process cannot happen without another person or Deity to be set up as the central focus of our lives.
No human could fill the center of my life because all fall short of perfection. There are man -made gods or fallen angels that exert their control whenever possible, but they, too, are imperfect. There is only One who could and should be centered in our lives.
I, myself, cannot choose wisely for my life in every circumstance. I do not have all-knowing capabilities and certainly cannot control everything that influences my life. Because of this it is imperative that I give someone else the central position in my life. My maturity relies on the right choice of whom it shall be.
God, the Father and Creator of all things is my choice. He alone knows, loves and gives out of wisdom and goodness. He alone has proven His right to be the center of each life. He has humbled Himself and voluntarily became less so that we could be more. It is only right that we now become less so that He can become more!
My prayer today is that He will increase in me and that I will decrease.
The newborn is totally self-centered. Life revolves around his needs and wants. Maturity is part of the process of being released from egos' stranglehold. We must learn to wait, be denied, share and even tell ourselves "No." Though this process is a moving away from self as the center, the completion of the process cannot happen without another person or Deity to be set up as the central focus of our lives.
No human could fill the center of my life because all fall short of perfection. There are man -made gods or fallen angels that exert their control whenever possible, but they, too, are imperfect. There is only One who could and should be centered in our lives.
I, myself, cannot choose wisely for my life in every circumstance. I do not have all-knowing capabilities and certainly cannot control everything that influences my life. Because of this it is imperative that I give someone else the central position in my life. My maturity relies on the right choice of whom it shall be.
God, the Father and Creator of all things is my choice. He alone knows, loves and gives out of wisdom and goodness. He alone has proven His right to be the center of each life. He has humbled Himself and voluntarily became less so that we could be more. It is only right that we now become less so that He can become more!
My prayer today is that He will increase in me and that I will decrease.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Broken Lives
From the outside looking in we can mistakenly think that our neighbors or friends have it "All together. " We are not witnesses to everyones' heartache, trials and struggles. We perceive their lives as a finished puzzle with every piece in its proper place.
Do they see us the same way? Undoubtedly! Even if we share our failures they look longingly at the way we have handled them. We, too, have perpetuated the myth by embellishing the stories to show ourselves in the best light.
God sees the truth. He sees our hearts. He sees us in our darkest places. He sees broken lives and He offers Himself to bring healing.
It is to Him that our Lenten meditations should turn. Our healing and restoration depends on Him, not on ourselves. Once we begin the walk of faith we can lead others into the healing place.
My prayer today is that my brokenness will be transparent to others and My Lord Jesus will be revealed as my healer and restorer.
Do they see us the same way? Undoubtedly! Even if we share our failures they look longingly at the way we have handled them. We, too, have perpetuated the myth by embellishing the stories to show ourselves in the best light.
God sees the truth. He sees our hearts. He sees us in our darkest places. He sees broken lives and He offers Himself to bring healing.
It is to Him that our Lenten meditations should turn. Our healing and restoration depends on Him, not on ourselves. Once we begin the walk of faith we can lead others into the healing place.
My prayer today is that my brokenness will be transparent to others and My Lord Jesus will be revealed as my healer and restorer.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Live Out the Sorry
On my way home from dropping off my granddaughters from school, I listened to the end of a teaching program. I don't recall the Bible teachers' name but the program is Living on the Edge. He stated that in all our brokenness we must go to Jesus and tell Him we are sorry, and then we must "Live out our sorry."
Wonderful words! Live out my sorry! Don't do it again! Be different. Change what I need to change so that my "Sorry" becomes a new life!
Lent begins today and the traditional giving up of our vices does not always bring us a life walking closer to God. Could it be that Lent is about living out our sorry? We are broken. We can be sorry over and over for the wrong living that causes brokenness in us and in others. Today is the day to start living out our sorry!
The first step is to pray. All sin is against God first. Asking His forgiveness is the place to go first. Then we go to those whom we have harmed by our brokenness. From there God will guide our steps. One step at a time. One day at a time. All done in oneness with God, our friend, Savior, King, and Lord.
My prayer today is that the ashes of our brokenness be blown away by the Holy Spirit, to land in the nail scarred hands of our precious Savior and offered to our loving Creator Father for a re-creation in our lives.
Wonderful words! Live out my sorry! Don't do it again! Be different. Change what I need to change so that my "Sorry" becomes a new life!
Lent begins today and the traditional giving up of our vices does not always bring us a life walking closer to God. Could it be that Lent is about living out our sorry? We are broken. We can be sorry over and over for the wrong living that causes brokenness in us and in others. Today is the day to start living out our sorry!
The first step is to pray. All sin is against God first. Asking His forgiveness is the place to go first. Then we go to those whom we have harmed by our brokenness. From there God will guide our steps. One step at a time. One day at a time. All done in oneness with God, our friend, Savior, King, and Lord.
My prayer today is that the ashes of our brokenness be blown away by the Holy Spirit, to land in the nail scarred hands of our precious Savior and offered to our loving Creator Father for a re-creation in our lives.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wrong Thinking
Thoughts direct our actions. I am discovering how true this really is.
When I constantly think about myself and even speak only of my point of view or how the situation affects me, I experience a snowball of emotions that grow into an ice cold selfish me-centered person. I don't like myself much when that happens.
The opposite is also true. When my thoughts are turned to God I am aware of others around me. I am merciful and kind. I glow with God's glory shining through me. It is Christ who lives in me. Others experience my warmth and are drawn to me so that I am able to point them to the Goodness of God and His love for them.
Dying to self is a process where we stop feeding selfish me-centered thoughts. It is not a one time decision, though I wish it were. I must continually take each though as it comes along into the captivity of Christ. It is hard work, and as I grow in doing this I hope it will become second nature, like hearing the voice of the Lord.
I don't like dying, but I am excitedly eager to experience life as it was meant to be lived: in the center of The Great I Am!
When I constantly think about myself and even speak only of my point of view or how the situation affects me, I experience a snowball of emotions that grow into an ice cold selfish me-centered person. I don't like myself much when that happens.
The opposite is also true. When my thoughts are turned to God I am aware of others around me. I am merciful and kind. I glow with God's glory shining through me. It is Christ who lives in me. Others experience my warmth and are drawn to me so that I am able to point them to the Goodness of God and His love for them.
Dying to self is a process where we stop feeding selfish me-centered thoughts. It is not a one time decision, though I wish it were. I must continually take each though as it comes along into the captivity of Christ. It is hard work, and as I grow in doing this I hope it will become second nature, like hearing the voice of the Lord.
I don't like dying, but I am excitedly eager to experience life as it was meant to be lived: in the center of The Great I Am!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Dying to Self
I've been thinking that the struggles we go through in our lives and the inner battles we fight are signs of the Holy Spirit revealing to us the places where we need to die to self. It is hard to recognize in ourselves, but God sees all. He also knows that dying to self will set us free to live the abundant life He wants us to live!
Think about this: When we are in a battle of our own or others' making don't we begin with a tirade of "I" statements? "I don't need to put up with this!" "I am miserable", "I am....whatever." The focus is on me and my uncomfortable situation. If we would die to that problem that comes against us, and die to our selfish ways, our vision of God would be clear and focused!
Dying to self seems harsh and against our natural instinct of self preservation. In God's kingdom the opposite is true: to be a leader we must become a servant, if we die we will live! God's ways are not our ways but they are always the best way!
Think about this: When we are in a battle of our own or others' making don't we begin with a tirade of "I" statements? "I don't need to put up with this!" "I am miserable", "I am....whatever." The focus is on me and my uncomfortable situation. If we would die to that problem that comes against us, and die to our selfish ways, our vision of God would be clear and focused!
Dying to self seems harsh and against our natural instinct of self preservation. In God's kingdom the opposite is true: to be a leader we must become a servant, if we die we will live! God's ways are not our ways but they are always the best way!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Perspectives
Today I was part of a slightly heated discussion with five other women. The subject matter of the discussion is not the topic here today, but may someday find its way to these pages. Today I am interested in what Gods' perspective was as He listened in to our discourse.
In my humble opinion, the discussion was possibly a misunderstanding between parties. It possibly could be that both sides were either correct, wrong, or only partially so. From my viewpoint the subject was not brought to an agreed upon closure. It left much to be answered and so I have spent a better part of my morning asking God to give me His perspective.
He has not answered completely and so I must wait, and search His word for the answer. I do have a sense that His view of the whole matter was not my view, nor the others'. He will use it to teach and guide each of us and I am ready to listen!
Perspective can be a learning tool if we choose to see the other side. That includes God's side as well as the other persons' side. I am ready to learn. What is God thinking about my thoughts? good question!
In my humble opinion, the discussion was possibly a misunderstanding between parties. It possibly could be that both sides were either correct, wrong, or only partially so. From my viewpoint the subject was not brought to an agreed upon closure. It left much to be answered and so I have spent a better part of my morning asking God to give me His perspective.
He has not answered completely and so I must wait, and search His word for the answer. I do have a sense that His view of the whole matter was not my view, nor the others'. He will use it to teach and guide each of us and I am ready to listen!
Perspective can be a learning tool if we choose to see the other side. That includes God's side as well as the other persons' side. I am ready to learn. What is God thinking about my thoughts? good question!
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