Who Do I Believe?

Sometimes I am sure that my thinking gets me in trouble. I over think many situations, relationships, and my own abilities and failures.

I've been dealing with a situation recently that I really want resolved. I do not like being misunderstood. I want to be heard and I want to come to a mutual understanding with the other person involved. But I must admit to myself that it may not happen.

The hardest part about the entire conflict is that the longer the conflict lasts the more I think about my part. I analyze and work it over in my mind again and again. I try my best to be fair and honest but all too often I begin to spiral my way down into a dark hole. I begin to believe only bad about myself. I do not trust my motives or the truth. It is my belief about myself that will change my life for the better or for the worse.

What do I believe about myself? Do I believe the truth or do I believe a lie that seems to right? Do I trust all the things God has put into me, or do I trust the voice I hear in my head that heaps piles of past failures on me? Do I let the lies cloud my thinking? Sadly I must say "yes."

I want to believe in the person that God sees in me. I want to believe the truth He speaks over me, but I don't always believe. The truth I heard today from Beth Moore was that if I am ever going to change my life I must start believing God. I cannot change unless I believe what He says about me. I have to stop the pity party and take time to listen. I remember the times I have listened and changes have been made. Those are good times.

Who do I believe? God or me?

Sovereign God, You speak only truth. You know me inside out. It is You I must believe when I look at myself. You are my mirror. Thank You for revealing the truth to me. Even when the truth hurts, I know it is for my good. Forgive me for the times I believe my own thinking. It can never bring me change. My eyes can only see things as a shadow. Let me hear You speak into my heart and my head so I might believe what is true. Help me to turn away from my own thinking and let Your thoughts become my own.

Thinking about what I am good or not good at is one thing that can get me in trouble fast. It is never good to concentrate to long on yourself.



When I let my thoughts linger over what I do best, I can become prideful and sometimes judgemental of others. If I do something well then I have a hard time learning something new or changing my old ways. When trying to be creative, it is never smart to put yourself into a box and only do the same things over and over. Over thinking my positives can lead to obstacles that keep me from being all I can be.

On the other hand, focusing on my "need to change" habits will lead me down a dark and downward spiral that will halt any productive activity. Thinking about my self in a negative way is selfish and maybe even a cop-out for doing what I know I should do. Yes, I am convinced that my thinking can get me in a pit of quick sand that is hard to escape.

There is one kind of thinking that is always helpful and can lead to a changed life. When my thoughts are in unity with the truth of Gods' Word, I will begin to believe and act on that truth.

Cocoon Escape

I remember finding cocoons hanging from a branch of my favorite tree when I was young. I loved to tickle them and watch them squirm. I knew there was something alive inside, and I knew that if I was patient a butterfly would emerge someday. Recently I have witnessed the emergence of a beautiful butterfly in the disguise a friend.

I have known this friend for over fifteen years. In that time I have watched her struggle in her cocoon as a care giver for her husband. She was willing to die to herself so she could give him the care he needed. It is a beautiful love story. Her struggle was hers alone. I could be watchful and pray, but it was she, herself who was wrapped in the cocoon. As her husband walked closer to heavens' gate, she was changing, and I only hoped the change was good.

I wanted to help. I wanted to comfort, encourage and even understand, but like the butterfly in the cocoon, I could only see and understand a small part of what she was going through. Then it happened! In the release of her husband into the arms of God, she began to emerge.

My friend has struggled out of the confines of her bondage and has taken flight! She still misses her love and always will, but now her life is new! She learned to submit to God's will and timing through her confinement. She learned to allow His purpose for her life to be fulfilled. In all of the lessons learned she became a butterfly!

She now has a new purpose in Christ! She must fly and touch many lives with the message she was given in her cocoon. As I sat and watched, I have been encouraged that my cocoon will last only for awhile. Someday I will be released to fly and touch others for God in a greater way too! I must be patient! But I can't wait!

Mysterious Miracle Working God, You surprise us with resurrection power! You make Your ways known to us through Your creation! I don't like my cocoon. I have been comfortable here for awhile, but now I want out! I am trusting You to release me and help me fly! Thank You for Your wisdom and timing! Fill me with Your Spirit as I wait. I need Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith and self-control. Fill me! Use me!