Holy Spirit Led Friendship

I was drawn to the stranger who sat at the table waiting for her appointment list to be filled. Ms. Penwell is an acquisitions editor looking for something I could not provide, but I had a strong feeling that I should sign up for an appointment to talk with her, to "pick her brain."

The Florida Christian Writers Conference (FWCW) is a place to learn from those who know best what an author needs to know. I determined I would make the most of my time, and sitting down with Ms. Penwell was what I needed to do since I had the opportunity. I didn't realize how important that talk would be for me at the time, but looking back I can only say that God gave me a divine appointment.

In order to "Pick her brain," I needed to have some questions ready, but I seemed to be in a fog as to what to ask. Even as I walked toward her table for the consultation, I had no idea what I would talk to her about. I sat down and immediately I began to tear up. Before she could say anything I poured out my story to her. She was a good listener without prejudice for my actions.

This past December I lost a dear friend. Carol had been instrumental in getting my book published, but it was her insistence for me to attend FWCW and CLASS (Christian Leaders Authors and Speakers Seminar) years ago that made this encounter special. Ms. Penwell was a CLASS alumni, and of course, she was at the FWCW. She brought back memories of my dear friend and I needed to talk about Carol's influence on me and how she would be so proud of me being there. This wonderful open-hearted woman heard me. She heard my grief. She heard my longing for a friend.

We closed our meeting with prayer, and she challenged me to turn my poems for Carol into devotions that could help others. I have accepted the challenge.

I came away from this encounter knowing God had directed me. It was not my plan but His. It was His Holy Spirit who emboldened me to set the appointed time and follow through. Without God, I would have lost an opportunity to make a friend and have my grief find just a little more healing.

Proverbs 27:9 "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel."ESV

Father in Heaven, I am amazed that You think of everything we need before we even know we need it! You knew we would need Your Holy Spirit to guide us and show us how wonderful living daily with You can be. However, we do not always live with Your presence so visible. Forgive us for putting You behind ourselves. You deserve to be first and last and always. Thank You for sending us friends at the right time. Thank You for the old and new friends. I've always liked the song we sang at Scouts. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." I can see that You are the One who makes those friends treasures. Help me to be a friend who listens without prejudice. Open my heart to those You would have me befriend. Amen!

Proverbs Thirteen

Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Friendship is a strong wind that guides our lives. No matter how strong we think we might be, we are influenced by the company we keep. The more friends going in a certain direction, the stronger the wind in our sails to follow them. It is wise to choose our company of friends by the destination for which they aim.

I cannot say that I have carefully chosen all of the friends I have had over the years. Most of the time I have simply let them happen. Friends have come to me through activities, shared interests and some through other companions. It may not have been the best way to find the wise and avoid the foolish, but once I learned about each person I was able to choose the extent of my relationship with them. I have been blessed with many wise friends. Though I have had a few foolish companions, they have not remained in my company as intimate friends, only acquaintances.

One friend I have known for over 50 years has proven to be wise. He has introduced me to many other wise friends too. Jesus has been a strong wind in my sails. He leads me to the right people and ultimately will lead me to an eternal destination that is heavenly! I can trust I will not suffer harm when I walk close to Him.

Friend Jesus, You are the perfect companion. Thank You for leading me to so many good friends. Forgive me when I let others lead me astray. Lead me in the right way. Teach me how to be Your friend and a friend to others too.

Don't Let Go

I collect handkerchiefs, children's books, and Christmas books and music. I keep little treasures like my Great Grandmothers' lace collars and refrigerator magnets that were bought on special trips with my husband. I like to collect friends too.

In preparation to sell our house, I have been going through allot of things that I have kept for sentimental reasons. Some things are easy to part with, but others will move along with me if the house ever gets sold. Some of the things that will travel with me are my old address books. They are a link to my long ago friendships. I may never use them again because they may have moved long ago, but their names will go with me.

Once someone is named as one of my friends, I never want to let go. I want to protect the memory of our friendship from the severing of time, distance and lack of contact. Childhood friends, long time friends or those who have stayed for only a short while, all hold a special place in my mind and heart. Names and faces of those who have connected with me are glued into my memory like a scrapbook filled with photographs, ticket stubs, and handwritten notes. Memories are little treasures reminding me of the love of my friend. I could never forget or throw a friendship away.

A few years ago I tried to write down every person that had touched my life. Even when I limited the list to just close friends, I found it to be a daunting task. Thinking about all the people over the years that have made an impression on me was overwhelming. I have been blessed!

There are some bittersweet memories, however, of friendships that could not go further. These friends took a different path far away from my chosen road. Still I cannot let go. It is so hard to say good-bye for good. I hold on to them in prayers and gentle thoughts of times past. Though we grow apart now, I hope to have a future with them again someday, like the few delightful reunions with long lost friends in recent years. Reunions remind me that finding anything that was once lost is worth a celebration!

Gentle Shepherd, Jesus, You celebrate every lost soul. You hold tight to those God has given to You. You may set us free , but You never let us go from Your heart and love. Thank You for remembering every name and face. Thank You for never letting go. Forgive us when we forget Your love. Forgive us for taking the path that leads far from You. Call to us and lead us back into Your loving arms. Find us when we are lost!


Friendship Gallery

Memories in the winding hallways
Of years gone past
Carry images of
People, places, and things
That will last forever
In my mind.

Faces and portraits of those whose
Impressions are so deep
In my heart,
Are fingerprints of friendships
That will forever
Touch my life.

Carolynn J. Scully
©1995

Cocoon Escape

I remember finding cocoons hanging from a branch of my favorite tree when I was young. I loved to tickle them and watch them squirm. I knew there was something alive inside, and I knew that if I was patient a butterfly would emerge someday. Recently I have witnessed the emergence of a beautiful butterfly in the disguise a friend.

I have known this friend for over fifteen years. In that time I have watched her struggle in her cocoon as a care giver for her husband. She was willing to die to herself so she could give him the care he needed. It is a beautiful love story. Her struggle was hers alone. I could be watchful and pray, but it was she, herself who was wrapped in the cocoon. As her husband walked closer to heavens' gate, she was changing, and I only hoped the change was good.

I wanted to help. I wanted to comfort, encourage and even understand, but like the butterfly in the cocoon, I could only see and understand a small part of what she was going through. Then it happened! In the release of her husband into the arms of God, she began to emerge.

My friend has struggled out of the confines of her bondage and has taken flight! She still misses her love and always will, but now her life is new! She learned to submit to God's will and timing through her confinement. She learned to allow His purpose for her life to be fulfilled. In all of the lessons learned she became a butterfly!

She now has a new purpose in Christ! She must fly and touch many lives with the message she was given in her cocoon. As I sat and watched, I have been encouraged that my cocoon will last only for awhile. Someday I will be released to fly and touch others for God in a greater way too! I must be patient! But I can't wait!

Mysterious Miracle Working God, You surprise us with resurrection power! You make Your ways known to us through Your creation! I don't like my cocoon. I have been comfortable here for awhile, but now I want out! I am trusting You to release me and help me fly! Thank You for Your wisdom and timing! Fill me with Your Spirit as I wait. I need Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith and self-control. Fill me! Use me!

DIY?

I love to watch the shows that fix up old houses and messed up places. It amazes me to watch the transformation from complete chaos to a masterpiece!

It takes a lot of hard work too! I never see someone doing the work all alone. They work in groups or at the very least have support from others. The same is true for life repairs and fix ups. We need people who will stand by us and lend a hand when necessary. It really can't be a DIY (Do It Yourself) project.

Breaking a bad habit or starting a good one requires some accountability to motivate and keep us on track. A good friend is someone who sticks with you even when you resist or fall short. They want what is best for you and best is not quitting!

Jesus did so much more than just being a friend while we were still in sin. He did the work Himself! He took our sin away and left a new creation in its place! He is the ultimate fixer upper!

Jesus, You are an Amazing Creator! You are the Builder of good things! You are my Fixer Upper! You are my friend as I try to be good! I know that I can never do it myself. I need You, Lord! I need other people to stand beside me. Thank You for always being there for me. Thank You for the gift of friendship. Show me the truth about what needs to be fixed in my life.

Honest Self

Today I took a short trip back to my High School thoughts. So many times I sat alone or kept silent because I was afraid the other person wouldn't like me. What a selfish and immature thought!

My journey of faith, walking with Jesus through so many ups and downs over these last 40 some years, has changed my thoughts from "They might not like me," to "They might need a friend." It has been a long road and I have often snuggled back into my fear hoping it would protect me from being hurt. Alas, I found that I hurt myself and others so much more by that selfish fearful thought!

A good neighbor (Mr. Fred Rogers of TV fame) once said that the best thing you can give is your honest self. Being vulnerable is honest. Allowing myself to be a friend, giving all the good and not so good in me, is the best I have to give.

Father God, You ask Your children to be good neighbors. You also sent Your Son to teach us how to be an honest friend. Teach me and lead me each day to be open and free with giving myself to You first and then to others! Because You are good, I know that I will find good things in doing what I find so difficult to do. Thank You for giving me Your honest self every day!

What is a Friend?

FRIENDSHIP

In true friendship
We reap lasting rewards of worth,
Security, joy, love, intimacy, and growth.
Friends care, comfort, encourage, listen, and
Gently touch the deepest need in our soul so that
We are able to dream and reach
For the one success that
Seems truly hopeless. Yet,
Because of the loving insistance of a friend
We must persevere.

by Carolynn J. Scully 1995

Expendable Relationships

There seems to be a growing number of people who believe that relationships are expendable. That means that they do not believe that relationships were meant to last and they can easily be replaced by someone else. This seems to be true of friendships as well as marriage partners.

The divorce rate keeps inching upwards and no family seems to be immune to the influences of divorce. Friendships are changable over the smallest of errors or percieved afronts. Because of the fluid movement of our society people feel free to drop friends in one city or state and find new ones in another.

As I look over the list of friends I've lost touch with over time I am saddened. I know there is no possible way to keep close all the friends of the past and present , but I believe past friends are still a treasure and a precious gift.

Forgiveness can prolong relationships that have been hurt, and correspondence through letters, Christmas cards, and emails can revive far off friendships. So why do we let relationships die instead of making an effort to remind the person that they have made a difference in our lives? Maybe they really need to hear it now. What might be happening in their lives that a sweet voice of a friend could cheer?

I don't want expendable relationships so it is time to make a call or two!

Not-So-Good and Bad Friends

When I get around some people I begin to act in ways that are not Christ-like or that simply defeat me in sticking to my goals. I come away disappointed in myself and vowing to never allow them to influence me in that way again.

People who complain about everything cause me to take on that attitude when I am around them. Blue people cloud any sunny disposition I might be trying to maintain. Braggarts make me want to brag, and unfortunately, people who tempt me to eat what I don't need usually win, while I lose, not pounds but the battle to lose pounds! I am weak in these things and I must learn to stay away from these people or stand up to their influence.

I can turn this all around and look to myself. Am I a friend who influences others in the wrong ways? Can I even be called a friend if I do? It is most important that I work on myself and call on the help of the Holy Spirit to keep me on the right track. I must also be watchful of the friends I keep.

I still must be friendly to all, but I am not obligated to keep company with those who will draw me away from my goal to be a strong witness for Christ and bring honor to Him. It is time to stand firm and be a good friend!

Good Friends

Gods' word reminds us more than once that choosing good friends is an important way to live a life that will be rewarded. Finding good friends is not always an easy task, but certainly one that is rewarding in the end.

Sometimes when we find someone we like and draw close to them, it becomes easy to see their faults. We then must decide if that is a reason for holding them afar or even removing them from the friend list. Since we all have failures and rough spots in our character, we should look for someone who can help us smooth out those rough patches. Then we can smooth out theirs. That is a good friend.

A good friend sticks around when they see our ugly ways. They commit themselves to helping us overcome. They want us to become the best person we can be. A good friend doesn't run away. A good friend is honest in a loving way. A good friend allows us to be those things for them.

"To have a friend you need to be a friend" is a true statement. We must model the type of friendship we want, be willing to be the friend we need. Yes, it will cost us. We will pay the price in time and energy and in commitment to learning as much as we can about the person. The interest we receive back, though, is a windfall.

Friendship, good friends, are part of Gods' plan for each of us. I think I'll write a friend today and tell them how much they mean to me!

Neighbors and friends

Eggs, milk, oil, spices and even tapioca are some of the things I have borrowed from my neighbor or she has borrowed or tried to borrow from me! We depend on one another for collecting mail when we are out of town and sometimes for minor sewing jobs. We are always certain we can count on the other to lift up prayers for our trials and struggles in life. Though Harriet is old enough to be my Mom, I consider her a friend, a really good dependable friend.

I have friends of all ages. Carol is a friend who is in between the Mom age and the older sister age. She is a great encouragement and source of wisdom as I follow her in the experiences life throws our way. Ginger is my age. We have many things in common, including the busy lives we lead that keep us from enjoying each others company as often as we would like. Then there is my "Baby" sister M.E. She has become an accountability partner and spiritual friend in a special and unique bond that we have. Then I claim my daughters, Erin and Briget and my daughter-in-law, Laura, as friends. Our friendship is new because it has changed from me being an authority in their lives to me being a friend to enjoy life with them. Finally, I am reaching out in friendship to my niece, Christyna. She is a young woman who is open to the friendship of an old lady who has stories to tell. Each of my friends are "neighbors" who come along side of me to live life together.

I love having friends of all ages. When I say friends, I really mean that it is a give and take relationship that we both desire and enjoy. I think we miss out when we keep our friendships limited to our own age group. It creates a wall that limits our perspectives and our ability to learn from the mistakes of others. If our true friendships only involve those who are walking in the same time zone as ourselves, it says that we never have to change.

Of course there is plenty that is offered through friendships that is not meant for me to change. That is when I need my friend Jesus to make the choices clear.But, what better way then to walk with a friend as I find it out?

Today, I am thanking God for being my friend and sending wisened and fresh view-pointed friends to make my life better and filled with the joy of living! Maybe you have a neighbor who would also make a good friend. all you can do is try! It is worth the effort!

Lifting up a friend

Sometimes it is so hard to find the right words for a friend who is down and needs some cheer. Do I share the good things that are happening to me or do I tell them my troubles? In my experience talking about myself rarely helps them. My woes mean nothing against their own heart aches. My smiles don't tear down the dark curtain surrounding them. So what do I do?

When I connect with God, even while they are speaking or crying, I find help. Gods' voice can comfort me when I see my loved one hurting and I have no power to change thier circumstances. His words give me wisdom as to when to be silent and when to speak. His tender mercies also can speak into their lives when a sure word comes to me for them. So why do I feel the need to tell my stories when they are hurting or need me to be their connection to the One who really has the answers for them?

Well, simply put, it is pride and selfishness. I want my life stories to be more important than theirs. Lord let me lay down my life before You. Let the importance of my life be in Your hands. Then help me to listen to my friend and listen to Your voice lead us closer to each other and to You. Near Your heart is the only place we need to be.Thank You for Your open arms, Your merciful heart and the place where our tears are collected and purified to make all work for our good because we love You.

May You, too, find comfort in The Perfect Friend, Jesus.