Grief has Changed Me

Grief has changed me. Over my lifetime I have been touched by grief of different kinds. Some sorrows came about from deaths of loved ones. The loss of a dream or even a cherished item has caused me sadness. I was changed in each circumstance.

My most recent season of grief has been for my brother and my friend. Others may not understand the deep mourning I have over the loss of these loved ones. In this time of sorrow, I know God is still good, and I know He is still present to me. But it seems that a dark cloud stands between His light and me. No matter how hard I try to push past the cloud of darkness, I only become engulfed by its confusion and pain. I am weary of the battle and so I call for help.

I am connecting with others who are seeking the light and together we are calling out to God to break away the cloud of grief through GriefShare. My prayer is that I will soon see the light shine on me fully.

Grief and sadness made me more compassionate, merciful and kinder to others. I have also learned to trust God more fully even if not perfectly. I know He is always with me and my faith has grown to know that He is good in every circumstance. Yes, grief has changed me.

Father, You, too, know grief. You understand and I am so grateful that You will help all who call on You in their time of sorrow. Forgive us when we fail to see Your goodness. Thank You for Your patient kindness. Let us see the light of life fully because we trust You to breathe on us the power of Your Holy Spirit to walk each day knowing You are faithful and will always be there for us.


His Faithfulness


His faithfulness
reaches to the heavens of
the entire universe and
holds the fiery stars
in place.
Though my eye fail to see
past the brilliance of the sun,
His faithfulness
maintains the stars as they
await shadows that unveil the
truth in whom
I can put my trust.

His faithfulness
knit me together in
my mothers’ womb and
holds my frail life
in place.
Though my eye fail to see
my inner workings,
His faithfulness
breathes breath into me and
my very life reveals the
truth in whom
I can put my trust.

His faithfulness
speaks a promise through
His word and
holds my eternity
in place.
Though my eye fail to see
the future,
His faithfulness
is trustworthy and
someday I will see the
truth and Him in whom
I have put my trust.


Carolynn J. Scully ©2011

U.S.A.

I think that most people would agree that our beloved country is on a fast and furious downward spiral. We are losing ground as a nation under God, and as the most powerful nation on earth. It is most tragic to note that we have chosen this path ourselves through our blind-folded eye as we vote.

What will become of us? Only God truly knows, but I have my own opinion. I believe that we as citizens are allowing ourselves to become slaves to our government. We no longer are the directors of our fate. We have handed our rights and freedoms over to our greedy, godless, government. It is a time of grief for those who remember the wonderful pride we had in our leaders, our heritage and our strength. We are fading fast and will soon be living under the rule of men who would dictate our every move. All the while our hearts cry out for freedom!

This Fourth of July I pray that we will remember that we are a country for the people and by the people, not a people whose lives are directed by a few men and women in the seat of power that we have elected. I pray that we will remember that we have GOD-GIVEN rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I pray we remember, because if we do not remember we will be forgotten.

Almighty King and Lord of the Universe, You are our sovereign ruler. You alone hold power over men. You are Good and Righteous. You offer freedom and hope to the oppressed. I pray that my fellow beloved countrymen would turn our hearts back to You. Allow me to be one voice crying out for You in this dark age!

Feelings

I believe that you can't control your feelings. You can only control what you do with your feelings. I think it is true because a feeling rushes in on me, and I find that I cannot choose how I am going to feel at a particular moment. I can, however, choose what to do once the feeling reveals itself.

Lately, I am dealing with feelings that are associated with loss. No, I have not had a major loss through a death, but even minor losses can evoke strong emotions. I am sad and I am grieving over things that others do not understand. At least they seem to feel free to tell me that I shouldn't feel the way I do. I should be happy. I should think of all the new possibilities for me in the future. I should not dare to feel sad over the ending of good things in my life. I should dare not feel these events as a loss but as ....what?

To tell you the truth, I do see the good side of these event. I do have feelings of excitement, hope, and anticipation. Good feelings are walking hand in hand with grief and sadness. I am certain that you have had that same kind of experience with feelings: mixed up colors washing over you in waves. One splashes over in blues and violets, the next with a bit of sunshine.

My life is a rainbow of feelings, and though you may not want me to feel sadness and grief, I do. I humbly ask you to please let me feel. It is a gift from God so that my life is rich with color! With all that is happening I really don't want to see red when you try to stop me from being me. Could you maybe enjoy the rainbow with me? Can you find a place to let a few tears fall for me alongside the smiles? In that, you will help to make the sad times short, and offer a little more sunshine to my life. Thanks.