I would like to think I am connected to other people, but I confess I don't always feel connected. Family, friends, church, and other connecting places don't always look or feel touchable.
I don't think I am alone in this thinking. I really think that most of us walk through our day talking and interacting with others without really pushing past the exterior facade. We never really touch the real person who lives out of reach safe behind our fears and insecurities. We don't take the time or make the effort to tear down the walls. We simply smile and walk past.
I also don't think I am alone in longing to be real with others. I want to touch and be touched. I want to be known and to know. The question is: How do we get over or around the wall? How do we break down the barriers? I am guessing it has to start with me being vulnerable. If I open my heart will someone else do the same? Or will my vulnerability prove to be painful and push me further into my self-made tower of protection?
In the past I have tried and failed. I have also tried and been surprised by success though short lived or small. Lately I've been protective, but I know I must lay down my shield and allow others into my real world where my reality will show itself in all my strengths and weaknesses. Scary? Yes! But an adventure awaits for me, an adventure of life!
I am scared to open myself to others, Father. I do not want to be hurt. You are my strength and You know all about me, so I trust that You will guide me. You will always be my safe refuge!
Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
A Safe Place
I've said it before, yet it seems appropriate that I say it again. I want to be perfect. I want to be right every time I make a choice. Sadly, I fail often. I really hate to fall flat on my face, but then I do another mess up and tell others when I fail.
I want sympathy, or maybe someone to tell me I really didn't mess up things. I don't usually get that or at least not convincingly. My life has been an open book, but recently I've taken to the position of keeping things between me and God. Oh, but there are times I shout out the trips, goofs, pie-in-the-face bloopers that embarass me and cause me to regret ever opening my mouth.
I've had quite a few of those times recently. The sad realization is that in opening my mouth I am closing my heart to those I trusted. I opened myself up to the inspection of others and that inspection failed. My next failure is that I no longer want to allow them as a confidant again. I do not want to be with them for fear of telling all and leaving with the truth of my failure blazoned on my chest (or at least my face!)
Is there a balance? I truly believe that in sharing we can grow and live life more abundantly. In my experience, however, it is hard to share freely when the other person holds back, or the other person thinks it necessary or their position to fix my problems.
Are you safe? Are you a person in which my life , my feelings, my joys, sorrows, and failures are safe with? Are you the one to whom I can take my broken life to and trust that you will gently carry it to the only One who knows, loves and fixes perfectly? I want to be that kind of person. I want to be safe for others because I know how much it hurts to fall victim to a misunderstanding between friends.
Right now my walls protect me and give me time to heal. Be patient. If you are a safe place for me wait till I am ready to open the door of my heart. Till then it will stay between me and my Savior Friend. I know He is safe!
I want sympathy, or maybe someone to tell me I really didn't mess up things. I don't usually get that or at least not convincingly. My life has been an open book, but recently I've taken to the position of keeping things between me and God. Oh, but there are times I shout out the trips, goofs, pie-in-the-face bloopers that embarass me and cause me to regret ever opening my mouth.
I've had quite a few of those times recently. The sad realization is that in opening my mouth I am closing my heart to those I trusted. I opened myself up to the inspection of others and that inspection failed. My next failure is that I no longer want to allow them as a confidant again. I do not want to be with them for fear of telling all and leaving with the truth of my failure blazoned on my chest (or at least my face!)
Is there a balance? I truly believe that in sharing we can grow and live life more abundantly. In my experience, however, it is hard to share freely when the other person holds back, or the other person thinks it necessary or their position to fix my problems.
Are you safe? Are you a person in which my life , my feelings, my joys, sorrows, and failures are safe with? Are you the one to whom I can take my broken life to and trust that you will gently carry it to the only One who knows, loves and fixes perfectly? I want to be that kind of person. I want to be safe for others because I know how much it hurts to fall victim to a misunderstanding between friends.
Right now my walls protect me and give me time to heal. Be patient. If you are a safe place for me wait till I am ready to open the door of my heart. Till then it will stay between me and my Savior Friend. I know He is safe!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Fireworks
Today begins our firework tent sale. You cannot imagine the hard work that goes into putting out the packages, and set up all the safety needs. My body aches from head to toe!
Is all of the effort worth it? Well, sometimes it is and yet, sometimes I do wonder even though we can vacation with the money earned. The people are wonderful and the patriotic excitement gives me hope for our country. But then I do worry about those who misuse the fireworks and get hurt, sometimes seriously injuring themselves or others.
Please be careful if you use fireworks. Take the time to read the safety materials and be prepared with water buckets and / or hoses. My prayers are always with each of you who celebrate with fireworks, but it never hurts to use common sense!
Is all of the effort worth it? Well, sometimes it is and yet, sometimes I do wonder even though we can vacation with the money earned. The people are wonderful and the patriotic excitement gives me hope for our country. But then I do worry about those who misuse the fireworks and get hurt, sometimes seriously injuring themselves or others.
Please be careful if you use fireworks. Take the time to read the safety materials and be prepared with water buckets and / or hoses. My prayers are always with each of you who celebrate with fireworks, but it never hurts to use common sense!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)