Monday, September 24, 2012

Kneeling on the Inside

Sunday I had the privilege of praying with a Mom whose thyroid cancer has returned. She asked me and my daughter, who is her friend, to join in prayer as the elders of the church prayed and anointed her. After her explanation of what she faced, I got on my knees to pray.

My age may make people think it would be hard to kneel in prayer, but it really is not a difficulty for me. It is harder for me to get up from that position. In fact sitting, kneeling or lying on the floor only becomes a problem when it is time to lift myself up to a stand. Pulling myself up after the prayer for my daughter's friend, I noticed the difference and began to ponder. I sought to dig deeper.

One of the thoughts that came to me was how different I feel when I lower myself to the floor now that I am older, than what I have felt in the past. I have not enjoyed lowering myself. It is true that I have had a prideful spirit many times and humbling myself in any way was a struggle for me. But things have changed. Age has brought experience and maybe just a little understanding of who I am and who I am not! It is okay now for the joke to me on me or about me at times. I even tell on myself sometimes!

I came to ponder the idea that my inner kneeling and humbling myself is making it much easier for me to physically get down, and harder for me to lift myself up. Maybe it has little to do with creaking joints or slower awkward movements. Just maybe it has everything to do with knowing that I am dust and I will return to dust. I am but a breath and will be gone as quickly as I come. I only have worth when I huimble myself before my Heavenly Father, bowing to Him and letting HIM lift me up.

Someday, every knee will bow and every tongue will confees that Jesus Christ is Lord (from Phil. 2:10-11)

God, my Father, You are my King and to You I bow. I, too often, rise up with pride and arrogance toward You and the people You have created. Forgive me for not being truthful in who I am. Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to lift me up out of the darkness of my sin. It is when I accept His help then I am able to sit humbly at Your feet, bow before You, and relinquish all my pride. I continue to ask You to reveal Yourself to me and teach me truth. In all things You are Good, You are worthy!