Friday, October 31, 2008


Intimacy begins in the mind. It is our mind that makes the choices that govern our actions.

As a wife I am responsible to channel my thoughts towards my husband. My husband is to channel his thoughts towards me. Sometimes this takes effort. Sometimes it flows naturally.

When I have been offended or hurt by my darling husband (Yes, it does happen occasionally) it takes effort to turn my thoughts to him in a positive and loving way. The hurt can be forgiven immediately, but there are times when the the hurt leaves a wound that needs time to heal. It is a tenuous time while tending to the wound. Will he wait for the wound to heal? Will he find me cold and unwilling to get things back to our normal loving and intimate relationship, when in reality I am working hard to get back what was lost? I must believe he is questioning the same!

Of course there are times when we are in sync! We flow towards each other without effort. We desire to open ourselves and become vulnerable. We have no fear of being hurt because we trust and love one another completely. In these moments we have no questions as to the others intentions or commitment. We do not wonder if we understand each other. We know that we do.

I do wish there were never times when we close ourselves to each other out of fear of being hurt, but in this fallen world it happens much too often. The truth is that love remains. Love is strong between us because God is in our lives and God is love! It is Gods' love that draws me back to loving even when I hurt. It is Gods' love that binds us together.

Today is always a new day to work on healing the wounds and to turn our thoughts towards the other in love. Tomorrow things may flow because of the work we do today! Romance will come!
I see its sparkling shimmer just around the corner! I hope you do too!

Thursday, October 30, 2008


My thoughts today keep returning to a very sad question. Why? Why do people who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ decide to accept the leadership of a man (or woman) who would willingly agree to killing a baby just because no one seems to want it? Just now I even had a hard time writing the word "It" to describe a human life.

It seems obvious to me that God wants the child to exist. He has imparted life to the baby and has made special plans for that baby. How can we as a society agree to the extermination of anyone, prebirth or in old age or simply not living a life we deem useful? As Christians shouldn't we submit ourselves to God's will?

I have spoken to a few people who profess to be Christians, but have decided that it matters not that the candidate they support for president would allow all manner of exterminating the life of a child if the mother wants to be rid of her responsibility. I am sorry friends. I cannot see your reasoning. Can you forget the silent tears of the murdered children while you cheer the man? Can you forget the tears of those who would gladly care for those children while you cheer on the economic policy over the morality of the man?

Today, I cry also. I cry for the unborn, the childless couples, the guilty moms, and I cry for you who have shut your ears to the cries. Father! Hear my cry and turn our hearts back to You!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Its the Pits

I heard Beth Moore talking about getting out of a pit. She has written a book along those lines but I have not read it yet. Maybe I should. It seems that we all need to get out of a pit at one time or another.

Beth Moore said that we can accidentally fall into a pit, be pushed in, or we can deliberately walk in. She also said that we need help to get out of our pits, no matter how we got into them. Sometimes we just need God, other times we need a friend and then there can be times when we need professional help. Helping someone out of a pit is a good thing! Being helped out of our own pit is wonderful too.

I am in a pit that kind of snuck up on me but that I also chose to walk into by making some unwise decisions. I have just reached out for help from a friend. And I am helping her too.

Helpers bring hope and truth and shoulders to cry on. They are our reason to keep going....because we don't want to let them down!

Today I am giving thanks to God for my helper! I know we can do it! We will succeed. We will find our way out! My helper is strong for me and I am strong for her and God is on our side...if God is for us who can be against us?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Perfect Love

Who do you feel most loved by? Who is it that will accept you exactly as you are but also encourage you to be your very best?

It is very hard to find someone who can fill both of these loving acts. Acceptance implies that if you never change that persons' love will never grow less. The encouragement to be your best is wanting change in your life, but only for your good not theirs.

Who do you and I love in this way? Am I a person who loves with acceptance and encouragement, or with expectations and selfish desires? Am I able to give others what they need to feel accepted? Am I able to cheer my loved ones on to be their best without cheering for myself to be rewarded by their success?

This kind of love is very hard to live. We may find we can do it once in awhile but every day living this kind of love takes God love. In fact we must first experience that God love for ourselves before we can do it for others. Even then we will find we fall woefully short of perfection in loving others.

"But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
"But just as He who calls you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: Be holy because I am holy." I Peter 1:15-16

Gods' amazing fulfilling love was made known to us through Jesus. He loves perfectly accepting us and perfectly encouraging us to be who we are meant to be!

I am loved perfectly. I can only seek Christs' Spirit to work in me so that I may love perfectly as well. In my failures He is always there to love the world!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Accountability Partner

OUCH! Having an accountability partner can be an amazing experience of deep friendship and intimate trust. But then there is the other side where the person you trust shows you a mirror and you are shocked at their forthrightness and dismayed by what you see in yourself. It hurts!

It may take awhile to admit your failure and begin to make the necessary changes to become the person you want to be. It may even take awhile to face your friend and allow them to journey with you through the steps you need to take to freedom. It is important to have that connection with one or more people. We need each other.

The truth is that your friend needs you to hold up the mirror too! You can be a help even while you are being helped.

Hebrews 10:24 says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." (NIV) Spurs hurt, but we are called to love ourselves, others and God, so we must help each other with those "Projects" that bring us towards the goal!

Do you have someone you are accountable to? do you allow that person to spur you on to love and good deeds? I, myself, have reached out again to someone for that purpose. I hope we can help each other.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Do you ever feel disconnected like I do? It is a weird feeling to be surrounded by people and yet feel invisible. It is strange to talk to others but sense that what you say just doesn't ring a bell with them. It is odd to see people you know and try to get their attention only to find out that their focus is on something or someone past you. It doesn't happen often but when it does I want to cry. I want to connect with others, to know I matter to them and to let them know they matter to me!

The question that haunts me is, am I to blame or is it a simple warp in the relationship bonds that makes the disconnection? Who knows? whatever it is I always hope the feeling passes quickly so that I can again get connected into the human race!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Big Giver

There was a time when I would give, but I never really found it to be a blessing back to myself as I was taught in church. I gave because I had to in order to be seen as a good person. Looking back I can see that it was a sad reason to give and more than that, a sad loss for me.

A simple prayer changed my giving. I asked God to make me a cheerful giver. This was one prayer that He answered quickly. As I remember it, the next weekly passing of the offering plate brought a smile to my face. As I laid my offering into the dish I found myself overwhelmed with thankfulness for what I had to give. I was delighted that I had more than I needed. I was becoming a cheerful giver!

Tomorrow our family is preparing a cookout to raise money for a needy family and some guys over in Iraq who are away from family and friends this Christmas. We call ourselves the Big Givers. But there is an even Bigger Giver! He gave us Himself! Maybe that is the real secret of being a Big Giver: giving from the heart and giving of ourselves. I know that giving selflessly is something that changed my heart into being a cheerful giver. I looked at the need of others as more than my wants.

How much we raise tomorrow is not the most important thing. What is important is that we do it as if we were doing it for the Lord.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


The world is spinning! You may say that I am crazy to point out the obvious. Of course it spins on its axis. I am more alarmed that lately it seems as if every aspect of world politics is spinning faster and faster. But it isn't just politics, society's morals are also spinning out of control. Watching the news or even just watching any TV program will convince you that our lives are spinning in a frenzy of expectations, entertainments, educations, etc. When people tell us they are busy we can know it is true.

Yesterday morning I awoke and sat up in bed only to feel my head spinning so furiously that I was forced to lay back down. After a few minutes the bed slowed down to a manageable spin so I again sat up. I was able to get dressed all the while hanging on to something solid. Vertigo was back. Throughout my day I would be surprised by a sudden spinning of the room. It was unnerving and so I spent most of the day sitting and being extra careful when picking up my grandson or walking with him in my arms.

Just as when I experience vertigo, I tend to look for a safe place when the world spins violently around me, I look for something solid to hold on to. In all things I look to God. He has provided a sturdy and always present help in His Word. My crutch. I have something on which to lean.

I am reminded of the old hymn "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms." Its chorus says: Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms; Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

Okay, so I would prefer the spinning to stop. I would like it ever so much if I would never again wake up to the spinning in my head or the spinning of the worlds' activities. As I lean on Jesus and trust His Word I am assured that His promise of a perfect world and a perfect body will be mine someday.

Someday. Someday.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Reverse Birthday

It seems only fair that my Mom would be honored and blessed for giving birth to me. I had little to do with my entering the world. God, Dad and Mom were the co-creators of my life. Yet I am the recipient of song, presents, cards and birthday wishes. Tough I enjoy them all i certainly feel a bit humbled by all the attention.

57 years ago, my mom delivered me, a breech birth, into the world. I am the second child out of eight. Mom carried all of us and then labored over us in more ways than one. She rejoiced that we came into the world.

Today I send a shout of thanksgiving for my Mom, the laborer. I pray that she is blessed because of having me as a child. I hope that I have made her happy to be my Mom.

Happy Day Mom! You gave me the opportunity to become a part of the world! Thanks!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Married life is a mystery. No matter how we try we can never fully understand nor discover the workings of our spouse.

I try very hard to figure out the relationship between my husband and myself. I read books and watch programs all with a mind to understand my man. He, on the other hand, doesn't seem to wonder how I think or what makes me tick. He may be coerced into participating in a marriage program but I am never sure of where his mind is. I think it may stem from the myth that men believe we can't be understood. So they do not even try. It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I'd like to think I could captivate his attention at least a little so he would try to figure out the mystery. Even so it is a bit fun watching him hide away or dance around the little clues I give.

I am sure of my man's heart. He may not try to unravel the intricate workings of my thoughts, which I sometimes can't even unravel, but he loves my confusing , challenging charms. They have kept him occupied for over 35 years now.

Whatever God had in mind when creating us so mysterious to each other, He certainly made life interesting. All of our questions about each other are woven with love into the threefold cord that binds us together with our Creator.

This is all just a mystery to me!

Monday, October 20, 2008

II Chronicles 7:14

I've received many emails over the past few months and even more over the past few weeks concerning the upcoming elections. The emails call Christians to pray, which is a very good idea. They also quote II Chronicles 7:14 as a promise that if we pray maybe the elections will go our way.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land."

It is a beautiful promise, but it also has specific things for us to follow in order to receive. We can receive God's ear to hear our requests, He will forgive us of our sins, and He will heal our land.
To receive these marvelous gifts we must be called by His name, humble ourselves, pray, seek His face and turn from our wicked ways. OUCH! That is much harder for us to do.

We must humble ourselves by knowing who we are and who God is. Instead of seeking after money, possesions, leisure, food, etc we must seek His face! We must each examine ourselves in light of who Jesus is and then remove the attitudes and actions that do not line up with Him! OUCH again! Now it doesn't seem so easy does it? There will be many Christians who will pray but not do the rest. They may just pray that their favorite candidate would win. There are profession Christians on either side so which side will God choose, or does He choose? Maybe this is an area He leaves up to us. Giving us freedom to decide who will be the one to rule and reign in our hearts. In that light maybe we deserve what we get.

I, myself, have chosen to let Jesus reign in my heart. I care about our country but whatever happens God alone is in charge of my life and destiny.

Here is my prayer for our country. Please consider this for yourself and pass it on so others will be wakened to the entire truth of this verse!

Lord God, Almighty Sovereign, our King, we need You. You have spoken these words to us so we might know how to reach You in times like these. Awaken our spirits to hear and obey You fully! We seek You and Your mercy on us! We want to humble ourselves as Jesus did, (Phil. 2:1-11).We have allowed wicked ways to creep into our lives. Reveal them to us so we can turn away from them and come back to the place You desire for us. We know that all You demand is good. All You are is good. Do not allow the enemy to deceive us. May Your promise be fulfilled as we do Your will! We lift up the name of Jesus, Your Son, in which we are united through faith.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


How do you imagine the near future? I mean, how do you think about the upcoming weeks or months. If you close your eyes do you see a list, calendar, or some other image?

I see my future as a giant calendar page. I am standing on today and I can look forward into the upcoming weeks or backward looking over the past with all my happenings neatly scratched off.

Recently I have had an interesting twist to my calendar vision. As I look forward I see my birthday coming up. Nothing really unusual about that. Looking past my birthday to the week after, my calendar is no longer flat. It seems there is a big wall of days. It is hard to tell the cause of this phenomenon. Is the calendar a vision or dream that is revealing something to me? Is it a blockage or a step up?

It has been a matter for prayer because only my Heavenly Father knows my future and I lay it into His hands.

Friday, October 17, 2008


This morning I stood in line to renew my drivers' licence. It was not a long wait and the clerk was friendly. My photo is typical of Drivers license photos. Yuck!

On the way home I saw a man fishing and wondered if he had a license to fish, and so, I began to consider the word "license." It means to allow or permit, to be permitted. A license gives authority or freedom to do something. Permission can be given verbally or written. Today I carried home my written permission to continue driving.

This takes me back to past blogs where I have stated that freedom has boundaries. In order to be free to drive, I must gain permission. If I break the rules of the road I will find my freedom to drive hindered in some way. Of course there are those who seem to get away with not following the rules, but eventually they will reap what they sow.

Living with license carries responsibility. Living without license (permission) can bring a thrill but it also comes with the fear of being found out and penalties if caught. I prefer to manage my license with accepting the responsibilities that go with it .

God has given each of us license in our free will. We choose to live within the safety of His will or we can climb that fence and live in eternal danger. It is our choice.

License . Freedom. Permission. These words do not hinder but offer adventure and excitement without fear.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I like smiles. I like them from the people I love and care about, but I also like to see smiles on the faces of strangers.

Smiles reveal to me that the person wearing that smile is enjoying a treasure or mysterious secret. Smiles invite us to respond with our own smile. We see the world differently through our smiles, even if it is forced.

When my grandchildren are having a grumpy day, I ask them to smile for me. They comply at first with a forced grin, but it soon turns into a real smile because I treasure their smiles and I am showing that I care about them. Of course I am smiling at them too. We make a sunny circle with our smiles that seems to stretch over our day if we shove the dark clouds away.

There are many days when I can start a smile revolution! Through the store aisles I smile and win over the other shoppers. I sprinkle the magic of smiles like Tinker Bells' fairy dust. Of course they can always brush it off and return to their cloudy day. Maybe for a moment my smile touched a happy place in their heart and brought it to life so it will rise again later. I hope so!

There is much in this dark, sad, gloomy world to smile about, especially if we really know Jesus. Life has many little surprises that sow the seeds of smiles. I think it is time we as Christians let them grow so we can draw the ones God loves so much back to Him!

What do you say? Shall we start a smile revolution today? It won't take long.

I remember a little Girl Scout Brownie song we used to sing.

There is something in my pocket.
It belongs across my face,
And I keep it very close at hand
In a most convenient place.
I'm sure you couldn't guess it
If you guessed a long long while.
So I'll take it out and I'll put it on.
It's a great big Brownie smile!

I like to change the "Brownie" to "Carolynn" or one of my grandchildrens' name when I sing it now. Try it! I think today might be a sunny day if we push the clouds away!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I just "whispered" a secret in an email to my family. I tucked it into the last line and even now I hope they do not make a big fuss about it.

I've kept the news to myself because my heart needed time to catch up. My heart is still tender about it, but I will be okay.

I am learning that I do not always need to tell everything to everyone, right away. Sometimes it is best for me that the secret is kept, but other times it is best for them. This time my secret may hurt their feelings a bit, because I didn't tell earlier, but I needed to hold on to the information for my heart comfort.

It all reminds me of one of my favorite poems.The poem is "Hold Fast Your Dreams " by Louise Driscoll. The first stanza goes like this:

Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one still and secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And sheltered so,
May thrive and grow
Where doubt and fear are not.
O keep a place apart,
Within your heart,
For little dreams to go!

My secret wasn't a dream, but it does have a dream wound around it. That dream still needs a secret place so I will keep it there until I must let it go.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Who's in Charge?

Of the people, by the people, for the people. What do these words really mean for us today?

It seems to me that some citizens believe that we have a government that is of the elected officials, by the elected officials and for the people. Can we really blame our government officials for the problems our country is facing? Are we really that segregated between the governing bodies and the people?

We so readily point fingers at one person or party for all our personal problems. But as the saying goes there are four other fingers pointing back at us.

Who is in charge? Yesterday my granddaughter had a serious discussion with her Mom that I over heard. She was making it known that she wants to be free. She does not want anyone to control her. She wants to be in charge! Little does she know that along with that responsibility she must live with the consequences of her actions. If she decides she wants to disobey she will be punished, if not by her Mom, someday it will be the law. If she decides not to take a shower she could lose some friends, etc.!

But, what my granddaughter really wanted was no more discipline or correction for her choices. At age nine she also wants to blame others for every mishap in her life. It is sad, but we as adults also look for the freedom of discipline, correction and someone to blame.

In my opinion there is no better way to define of the people, by the people, and for the people than self discipline and taking responsibility for our own actions. Unfortunately it seems that the majority of us are still looking at the world with nine year old eyes and mindset. Maybe one of the best ways to help our country would be to grow up!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Random Thoughts

Today I can't seem to put a finger on what to write about so here are some random thoughts going through my head.

My son turns 28 today. He is a good man. It seems as if the difference in age between us is growing shorter. I don't feel as old as I am or as old as his Mom should be! Happy birthday, David!

It seems odd to me that most people I talked to this past week were surprised that I had mixed feelings about my son, Joseph, moving to Colorado. Seems I shouldn't want to have him near. I shouldn't be sad about not seeing him on a regular basis. The thing that surprises me is that they don't understand how much fun our family has together and how much we like being close! Of course these are people who don't know us well, so I guess if they haven't experienced this bond then they couldn't understand. I will miss him. He had a hard time pulling away also! He, too, had mixed emotions! Our family is just like that. We really do like each other!

Politics is evoking in me strong emotions and fervent prayers. I believe it is the same for most Americans. I know how my vote will go. What I do not know, is which way the country will vote. It seems as if we are in the dating period of getting to know the candidates. For me, I like one more than the other, but don't like everything my favorite says, does or stands for. Come November 4 the country will decide which candidate to whom we will be betrothed. Then January will be the official ceremony that will wed us to the leadership of that man for the next four years. I am certain that either way, we will find our country more divided than ever before! We already are!

I am reminded of Jesus' prayer that His followers would be in unity. Oh, may we find a way to be unified in spirit. The world is on the brink of something new. The signs are there. Christ's followers must pray and seek His face. We must walk humbly before our God. Most importantly we must look to our own hearts to examine our selves. Whatever we find that goes against God's standard is wickedness. We must turn back toward Him and repent of those wicked ways.

So what does God stand for? It is all found in the scriptures. What do we stand for? It is found in our checkbooks, our daily schedules, our leisure activities, etc.

Lord, show me Your ways! Give me strength to do Your will even if it is against the world. Stay near me, Lord, for you alone are my rock! May I conform to Your will in all things.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


When will we as Christians really live our lives as we believe? When will God really be enough for us?

We sing songs praising God for being everything we need. We claim that God alone is sufficient for every circumstance. Yet, we rarely live day to day in the reality of that truth.

I am notorious for putting importance on people and things over God. Oh, I know that is hard for you to hear. I shouldn't be admitting to this but it is the truth. I live my life and make decisions based on my unspoken belief that I need my relationships in order to be happy. I need "things" in order to be fulfilled.

I don't want to be that way, and my head knows that it is not true. I know from my studies that God is enough to make me satisfied, but I fall short of living the ideal. I want to make God my source of strength and fulfillment. I am better than I have been in the past, but I still have a way to go.

I am reaching for that goal one day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time. I fall short of my goal often but there will be a day when my all sufficient God will be MORE than enough for me! Will you come join me in searching for the treasure that will finally be enough!?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

100th Post!

Could it be that I have reached a small but exciting milestone here at Carolynn' Whispered Words? This being my 100th post I would like to have a celebration. Let us celebrate with words. Here then is a list of words that are floating through my mind today:


Oh, I could go on and on. The point is that in just bringing these words to you I am almost certain I trigger a memory for you. Maybe you would like to share one here. Maybe you could just share one with someone who needs to know you care.

I may have triggered a new thought that you could write about or tell. Whatever I have sparked in you from these words I hope they will be the stones that make ripples in the water and that you will find a smile playing along.

Enjoy your day. Enjoy the words that create smiles.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Free Speech

As I listened to the presidential debate last night I was struck by something that hit a note with me. Maybe you heard it too.

I do not know anyone who likes others to speak for them if they are able to express their thoughts themselves. It was a bit disturbing that Obama seemed to answer every question only partially for himself but wholeheartedly for McCain! He would offer a vague answer for his reply and then go into great detail as to McCain's' stance on the issue.

I was looking for Obama's true message and it seems he does have one. He is ready to tell everyone what everyone else is doing wrong. His message is I am right because I don't do anything!

I don't like all the politics going on right now. I fear for our country. I have been praying for God to turn the hearts of our citizens back to Him and away from the god of money and fame. I know of many who like Obama and even consider that he is our last hope. I think he even thinks so. I am drawn to McCain's' humility. I am repulsed by Obama's pride. I need no other king but King Jesus!

I am taking a stand right now. If Obama is elected as the next president I will not bow down to his reign as if he were a king or a god. He will be given presidential acknowledgements and I will of course pray for him and the decisions he will make, but I will not allow him or any elected official to rescind my rights without a fight.

This is my humble (or maybe not so humble) opinion. I do not agree totally with McCain but I will stand against anyone who seems to think he speaks for everyone. I do not want others to speak for me! God, Himself, offers me that freedom!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

God Moments

I have read and am now rereading the book "Chasing Daylight" by Erwin McManus. It is a very thought provoking book. Deep thoughts. Pondering thoughts. Not ones I can slide past and say I understand.

One of the thoughts that keeps winding around my brain is about God moments. These are moments when we are faced with a choice. We can seize the opportunity that God has presented to us or we can ignore or refuse it. In seizing it we encounter purpose and God in a special way. To ignore or refuse the opportunity we lose the chance to change the future for the good for ourselves or for someone else.

Lately I feel bombarded by God moments! It seems they are rushing towards me with full force. I am stunned and awed. I am grasping for them sometimes with boldness and other times with timidity. God has reminded me that He has given me a spirit of power and love and a sound mind. I must presume that if I am offered God moments then He certainly believes that I am able to accept and fulfill the tasks set before me.

Like a friend of mine has recently said: I can only make it by walking hand in hand with Jesus. I might add that I think Jesus only lets go of my hand long enough for me to be free to reach out and grab the opportunity. It is always my choice. He is always near.

Monday, October 6, 2008


I believe that you can't control your feelings. You can only control what you do with your feelings. I think it is true because a feeling rushes in on me, and I find that I cannot choose how I am going to feel at a particular moment. I can, however, choose what to do once the feeling reveals itself.

Lately, I am dealing with feelings that are associated with loss. No, I have not had a major loss through a death, but even minor losses can evoke strong emotions. I am sad and I am grieving over things that others do not understand. At least they seem to feel free to tell me that I shouldn't feel the way I do. I should be happy. I should think of all the new possibilities for me in the future. I should not dare to feel sad over the ending of good things in my life. I should dare not feel these events as a loss but as ....what?

To tell you the truth, I do see the good side of these event. I do have feelings of excitement, hope, and anticipation. Good feelings are walking hand in hand with grief and sadness. I am certain that you have had that same kind of experience with feelings: mixed up colors washing over you in waves. One splashes over in blues and violets, the next with a bit of sunshine.

My life is a rainbow of feelings, and though you may not want me to feel sadness and grief, I do. I humbly ask you to please let me feel. It is a gift from God so that my life is rich with color! With all that is happening I really don't want to see red when you try to stop me from being me. Could you maybe enjoy the rainbow with me? Can you find a place to let a few tears fall for me alongside the smiles? In that, you will help to make the sad times short, and offer a little more sunshine to my life. Thanks.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Birthday About Me

Do you remember your 7th birthday? I do. I remember it being a day filled with sevens. I won a prize because I drew a lucky number seven. I visited a children's' TV program where I was seventh in line to walk the plank of the pirate ship. I had seven candles. It seems it is a big year for little ones. It certainly is one that I remember in a big way.

At seven we seem to finally understand what birthdays are all about. They are all about ME! Birthdays are not about the Mom who carried me for nine months or about the hours of labor and pain it took to bring me into the world. It is not about Dad who paid for all or most of the bill. It is not about the friends and family who brought gifts. It is about me, the one who just happened to show up on that date!

Okay, so I'm not 7 but my granddaughter is. It has been a big day for her! She has told each of us what she expects for her birthday. She wanted everything to be all about her. She made sure she had a celebration fit for her. Aren't we all a bit that way? Even if we say "no birthday this year" aren't we making the day ours in a back handed way? We choose to tell others that they are not allowed to celebrate even if they want.

I want to celebrate my birthday too. It is coming in a few days. I may not be as demanding , or extravagant as my granddaughter but I want a celebration just the same. It will be a celebration of life. My life has been so blessed. God has given me life through my parents and the fullness of life through family and friends. I hope to celebrate my life in a way that God will be magnified. My birthday will be about me. It will be about me living life the way God intended, maybe not perfectly, but certainly with a willing and celebratory spirit.

My dear little sweet Brooke, Happy 7th birthday! Today it is all about you! Be blessed!

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Interruptions are frustrating. I just had a big interruption and it changed my whole direction. OOPS! There comes another one! They come like commercials during a really captivating show. Sometimes one after another, sometimes it is only one. Either way they distract and confuse.

It does help to own an attitude of acceptance and flexibility when dealing with interruptions. I can even remember that whatever happens to me will be used for good in my life. I can also remember that sometimes I am the interrupter! I can be the irritant to someone else. If I want others to forgive my hindrances in their day, then I must do the same.

I won't ask that interruptions come, but I will not allow them to make life miserable. I won't promise never to interrupt you, but I'll try to be more considerate. Maybe we can make something useful from those pesky pauses to our work and our plans!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A Safe Place

I've said it before, yet it seems appropriate that I say it again. I want to be perfect. I want to be right every time I make a choice. Sadly, I fail often. I really hate to fall flat on my face, but then I do another mess up and tell others when I fail.

I want sympathy, or maybe someone to tell me I really didn't mess up things. I don't usually get that or at least not convincingly. My life has been an open book, but recently I've taken to the position of keeping things between me and God. Oh, but there are times I shout out the trips, goofs, pie-in-the-face bloopers that embarass me and cause me to regret ever opening my mouth.

I've had quite a few of those times recently. The sad realization is that in opening my mouth I am closing my heart to those I trusted. I opened myself up to the inspection of others and that inspection failed. My next failure is that I no longer want to allow them as a confidant again. I do not want to be with them for fear of telling all and leaving with the truth of my failure blazoned on my chest (or at least my face!)

Is there a balance? I truly believe that in sharing we can grow and live life more abundantly. In my experience, however, it is hard to share freely when the other person holds back, or the other person thinks it necessary or their position to fix my problems.

Are you safe? Are you a person in which my life , my feelings, my joys, sorrows, and failures are safe with? Are you the one to whom I can take my broken life to and trust that you will gently carry it to the only One who knows, loves and fixes perfectly? I want to be that kind of person. I want to be safe for others because I know how much it hurts to fall victim to a misunderstanding between friends.

Right now my walls protect me and give me time to heal. Be patient. If you are a safe place for me wait till I am ready to open the door of my heart. Till then it will stay between me and my Savior Friend. I know He is safe!