A Christmas Story

This past weekend I experienced a collision. Two separate occasions collided to create in me a profound awareness. I am not certain I can do it justice here with my feeble words, but I hope you will glimpse the amazing God who loves us within my story.

Friday, December 23, I received a call from a friend. She had a message from God the night before that she needed to find a recipient for her late husbands' wheelchair by Christmas. She told me the story of the search and discovery for just the right person to present the gift. It stirred in me a sense of God moving in a mighty way. I was so happy that she would finally be able to give away the wheelchair the next day accompanied by her grandson.

That night as my husband prayed over our meal I had the impression that we should ask my friend, Carol, if we could come along with her to give the gift. She was delighted to let us join her, and so our plans were made to visit the Russell Home for Atypical Children to present the wheelchair to Kenny.

Patrick and I had never been to the Russell Home. We were humbled by the gift that the home is for the families, community and residents. The Russell home is not a business. It survives with the generosity of donations alone.It is a light in the world.

Marie took us on a tour allowing us to see the home and meet the love givers who care for those who are so easily thrown away. It was there we heard the stories of people, like Kenny, who have found a family and are loved despite their inabilities to do much more than exist.

Later that night we attended our Christmas Eve service and heard our Pastor share a story that Steve Brown told about the ugliest car he had ever seen. The description made me a believer that it had to be the ugliest car ever. But on that car was a bumper sticker that read, "This is not an abandoned car." As I wrote it down in my notes, I was immediately drawn back to the Russell Home. I remembered those tiny twisted bodies and the uncertain eyes searching for understanding. I was certain God spoke to me saying, "These are NOT abandoned!" Yes, there was an emphasis on the "NOT." God had not abandoned those who would be considered the most ugly in our world.

I also realized that God has a purpose for these castaways. Could it be that they are a visual for us to see what our sin against God has done to our world? They carry a heavy burden, but God has not abandoned them! He is with them. He cares. He saves.

Father, Your children who suffer are never far from Your touch. I give You thanks for letting me see Your precious loved ones. Thank You for letting me see how MY sin against You has made our world so far from Your perfect plan. Help me to be their voice and to help them where I can! Thank You for Those who work at the Russell Home. Bless their open hearts and open our hearts to help them to continue their family.

P.S. The Russell Home needs a new facility. In 2012 they are asking each person who will to donate $20.12 to help them build a home. Google their name and help them if you can! Thank You!

Laugh with Me

Last night I heard a friend say that we should start the Christmas season with laughter. I think it sounds like a grand idea! A merry heart is a good medicine, or so I've read (see Proverbs 17:22).

Christmas is a time to be merry. It is a season of joy because the Good News has been shared with us. God loved us so much that He sent His Son to make a way for us to be reconciled to God. I can laugh about that. It is not a laughter that is skeptical, or deriding. It is a laughter that bubbles up from within and spills out in a joyful noise. I am sure that God would love to see His children smile and praise Him through the joyful noise of laughter because they are free from the eternal consequences of sin.

Yes, there are still many consequences of sin that we endure here on earth, but eternally we will live forever in a beautiful sin-free place! Can you hear the angels laughing with praise over us? I sometimes think I can. They see Gods amazing grace cover our sin and they laugh with glee knowing that God has done a wondrous thing in us!

So, the question I offer you today is, will you laugh with me this Christmas? Join me in a symphony of praising God that bubbles up from deep within and showers the world with the joy we know in Christ Jesus our Savior; the Son of God, born under a star, laid in a manger, lived a perfect life so He could be the Lamb that was slain for the sins of the world. Let's laugh!

Joyful Lord, God of Merry hearts, You gave us a Spirit who seals our hearts with joy! You Are worthy to be praised with all our being. Thank You for Christmas! Thank You for all it means for the world. I want to splash in your love until my joy bubbles up into laughter for the wonders that You have given me! Let the laughter grow!

Desperate for Christmas

Christmas can't seem to come fast enough for some people. We have seen signs of Christmas before Halloween! Thanksgiving was overrun with the sale spree of Black Friday that was pushed back to Thursday. Everywhere I turn I see people desperate for Christmas. Maybe they are only desperate for $mas.

As I watch shoppers scanning the items on shelves over flowing with many things, I am sure that though they seem to be running hard toward $mas, they have hearts that are hungry for a real Christmas. Jesus spoke to His disciples about this in terms of a harvest. He said the fields were white and in need of laborers to bring in the harvest (see Matthew 9:38 and John 4:35.)

What are our hearts searching for this Christmas season? Are we looking for the right gift at the right price? Are we seeking the hope of a brighter future? More importantly are we looking for the Lord Jesus Christ and His gift? What we seek for ourselves should we not also seek for others?

When I see people desperate for Christmas am I willing to offer them the truth? The harvest is ripe. This is the time to go tell it on the mountain tops, that Jesus was born, lived a sinless life, died in our place and rose again to someday come back and rule the earth! This blog is my mountain top. Do you have a mountain top?

Father, my heart is desperate for more of Christmas to live in my heart every day. You sent Your Son as a miracle gift. It is Your Grace and Mercy that calls our hearts to seek Christmas. Father, so many are lost in the glamour of the seasonal shopping daze. Let Your voice be heard above the crowds! Let Your truth touch their needy hearts and let Your Word fill their hearts with hope, peace, joy, and love. I choose to serve as a laborer in Your fields, Lord. Let my words bring You Glory!

My Stuff

This morning our pastor spoke on The Theology of Stuff. Interesting title and his scriptures and insights made me think. The last point he made was that God is the owner of our stuff and We are the stewards. The most often word I heard today was the word "Willing." I love it when God takes me just a bit further in thinking about the sermon topic. Today, God again humbled me with the thoughts He gave.

God wants me to be a willing giver. It delights Him when I become hilarious over giving. That happened yesterday for me. I was so very excited to shop with my husband for our young boy who will receive our shoebox! I would giggle and tremble with excitement as I placed each item into that little box. We searched for a scripture to write on the box and chose Proverbs 3. It was our prayer for this young man. I was so very willing to give what I could. I could not help but be full of willing joy in giving! I felt God's pleasure too.

Before Sunday School I looked over the outline for the sermon, contemplating the points John would expound. "Who is the owner of my stuff," was one of the questions to be answered. I already knew that the answer was God. The interesting part was that God is the owner of ALL my stuff. Yes all of it! He even takes away our sin when we don't want to own it anymore! WOW! Now THAT is a God thing! He does not want us to own our sin and so He takes it. He owned it on the cross, paying the price that was rightfully mine to pay.

Lord God, Owner of all creation, You are the Good and Holy God who would own my sin so that I would be free to live. I bow my heart before You. I do not deserve what You did for me! Thank You for Your mercy that took my sin and owned it all the way to the cross. I want all that is mine to be Yours. I want to be willing to give You all: my sin, my things and my life. Today my hand is open. Remind me every day that You took the worst of me and You really deserve the best.

What If?

What if I was judged as a criminal for being a disciple of Jesus Christ?

What if my good works were seen as a threat to the governmental programs?

What if my words were evidence used against me to prove I was a Christian?

What if I followed Jesus to the cross?

What if I lived my life always looking to see what The Holy Spirit was doing and dare to do it too?

What if?

Lord and Savior, Jesus, You dared to come and show all of us what it would be like to follow You in a world that did not want You. You were courageous and determined to do what was right and good. I don't always look like You because I am afraid to be judged wrongly. Thank you for doing that for me! It is through You that I can change and be more like You! I want the what ifs in my life to give You glory and not shame. Change me ,Lord!

Contentment

"...For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. " Phil 4:11b (NAS)

This verse was at the center of our Sunday School lesson yesterday. It has grabbed a hold of me and will not let go. I am wrestling with this virtue of being content in whatever circumstance I find myself. But am I to be content in all things?

I do believe God wants me to be content with my material goods. I do not need to chase after the things of this world that will never satisfy, nor last. It does not matter that my household furnishings do not make a fashion statement. I can find contentment in my clothes, food, and shelter, but should I ever be content with my walk with God? Or a less than satisfactory relationship with those around me?

In searching my heart I cannot say that I am content with my Christian walk. I, like Paul, press hard toward Christ. I want to be a disciple that does what I have read and heard, but I know that I am not there yet. I have far to go before I can be content in my daily living for Jesus. The same is true for my relationships with others.

I cannot sit back and pretend to be content with my marriage when I too often love myself more than I love my husband. My failures as a friend or neighbor also produce discontentment and urge me to discipline myself to be better.

Contentment. It is a two faced coin of being and striving. For me, my heart must continually chase after God and His place for me. It is only in Him that I can be content. Therefore I can only be content in the place where I am running hard after Him.

You, O Lord are my Hiding Place! You are my Strong Tower and my Refuge! It is only in You that I find safety and contentment. But, Lord, I will never rest contentledly and completely in You until Heaven is my only home. Forgive me, Jesus, for the times when my feet are slow to follow You; when my eyes focus on this world and fail to see that You have planned much more for me. Thank You for making me thirst after You. Thank You for allowing short moments of contentment to tempt me onward to find more of You! Fill me with a desire for Your holiness and You completness. I will forever need to seek more of You.

Frantic

It has been many years, but I still remember the day a little bird flew into our porch and couldn't find his way out. The poor bird flew frantically about, bouncing into the screens and looking desperately for an opening. I don't think it helped much that the kids were excited and in trying to help by showing him the way out, They scared him into more panic. It wasn't until I brought the kids inside to watch quietly behind the window that the bird settled down and eventually found its way to the yard.

I had a frantic experience last week when I couldn't find the place I was supposed to be. Driving around and around where I THOUGHT I should be, and a few tense phone calls made my heart beat faster. I was frantic. I only wanted to forget it all and go home. It was important for me to take time, and a deep breath and ask for help from... GPS. Alas, GPS did not help and only confused me more. It was only when I set my thoughts and mind on God, who knew where I was and where I was supposed to be, that I was able to find the right place in a few minutes even though I was way off course.

Often I rely on myself, others and technology before I remember that the God who led Abraham from his homeland to the place He had planned for His people, and led the Israelites back to that promised land, could lead me to the place I am supposed to be. This is true also for my spiritual journey as well. He can lead me through my confusions, doubts, and mess ups to a greater faith and trust in him. I am so glad to know Him!

God, my Father, You created the four corners of the earth. You know every mountain and valley because your hand has formed it. You also know me, because Your hand has formed all of my parts! I forget Your love and care for me sometimes. I forget that I can call on You and trust You to take me where I need to go. Forgive me! Thank You for caring about my journeys here on this earth. Thank You for leading me safely to You at the end of this road. Thank You that You meet me along the way. I want to keep my compass set to TRUTH: You. Help me find Your way!

Conscience

Adam and Eve hid from God after they sinned because they had a conscience. They knew they had disobeyed God's command and they also knew that God would know what they had done. It was fear and shame that made them want to cover their sin, hoping that somehow it would be enough.

My Grandman, Jacob, is learning new things every day. I love watching all of the children grow and learn. I especially get tickled the first few times they try to hide from me in response to their disobedience. Jacob has been trying to hide lately. He stands behind my chair and becomes very still, but I see him anyway. I call and he refuses to answer even with a little giggle of play. I smile because I am happy that his conscience is working. It is a sign of spiritual growth that needs to be nurtured.

I do not want to say that hiding from our problems or trying to hide from God is a good thing. It isn't the answer and will not resolve anything. I do think that being aware of our sin and letting our conscience move us to act is good. Our awareness of sin offers us a choice. Like Jiminey Cricket warning Pinocchio, our inner voice can keep us from falling into the trap of sin, or lead us in how to be free. Jacob must learn to admit his disobedience and accept the consequences. When he does he will learn a greater lesson: forgiveness.

Good and Perfect Father, You are the giver of a good conscience. You are the One we must come to when our inner voice judges us guilty of disobedience against You. Thank You for forgiving our sins when we confess. Thank You for setting us free from hiding in our guilt and shame. Let our conscience be our guide to You!

60 Years

Saturday was my 60th birthday. It was a grand day with lots of friends and loving wishes, even from afar! I celebrated with good food, family, friends, and that made the day fabulously fun! I am so happy to be 60!

Some people have asked if I am now 39 and holding. I never will be 39 again and don't plan on ignoring the years God has given me since then. It is a joy to be alive and serving my Father in Heaven! Why would I hide the gift of years He has given me?

I can imagine me telling someone I am "39 and holding" and hear God on His throne saying, "And what about the other 21 years with which I have gifted you?" No, I never want to hide His gift of years. Life is a precious and blessed treasure. I choose to celebrate all my years, and I hope to praise Him and give Him glory all my days!

Father God, Ancient of Days, You are the Faithful Judge of all my days. You are the sovereign Lord who has determined my years. Thank You! I am blessed beyond measure with 60 years. There are times, Father, when I have failed to live my life to the fullest as You desire, forgive me. As I press on in years teach me to number my days and as they turn into years may You be glorified! In celebration of the day of my birth I bow before You, my Creator, Lord and Father.

A Penny Saved

My younger brother is a numismatist. He has collected coins ever since he was a young boy. Mike shared his knowledge of coins and collecting with anyone who would listen. I listened, a little.

I never became a big enthusiast, but I did save some coins,I thought might be valuable someday. Today I was looking through the small box of coins I had, wondering if any were worth much. I checked each one for dates and mint marks and the wear that would lessen the value. It wasn't long before my mind wandered as I picked up coin after coin.

I began to think of all the people who had touched those coins. Where had these pennies traveled and how many lives were attached to one little cent before reaching my little box? Had they been found in a purse or dropped into a car seat or sofa? Were they lost from a hole in a pocket and left to be found on the sidewalk or street? Had they had a simple path to my small collection by being handed to a clerk and give out in change again and again? To me it mattered little about the coin and its travels. I thought of the people.

The little boy or girl who held tightly to the penny while choosing a piece of candy from the counter must have thought it was gold. The Mom who dug deep into her purse for those few cents may have needed them for milk or bread. The Indian head nickle may have been a treasure saved for a special gift. Those who held my coins are connected to me in a simple way. We both found value in a small disk of metal.

We hold money in different ways. Some of us cling to it, and some of us let it go much too easily. We help others, or we selfishly use it for our pleasure. Money is given in exchange for our work. Each hour of our life is worth the wage set by our employer. Money is an exchange for our lives. It is this that gives money value to God.

Our tithe is a giving of our lives that we exchanged for wages. It is a holy sacrifice.

Father God, Creator of each life touched by my coins, You are holy. you give life and take it away! You are a Generous Giver of life. Thank You for allowing me to return to You so little of what You deserve! Forgive me for my selfish ways. Teach me to see You and Your human creation as holy and more valuable than material things. I want to hold my life out to You with open hands.

Why Write?

For weeks I have asked myself the question, "Why write?" A battle is raging inside of me, and I am ready to find peace.

I believe the battle is being waged by spiritual forces coming against my thoughts and desires. The enemy would like very much to stop the good work that is being done through my words. Even now I hear his whisper telling me "If there is any good." He lies,accuses, and makes me distrust the only One with which I can trust my life, my work and my purpose.

I confess that I have fallen into his sly trap for far too long. I want to be strong and resist, but it is so easy to believe that my thoughts and ramblings have no value. It is true that without the Spirit of God working in me my words are blots on a page. There are times when I write for my own satisfaction, my own glory, and with my own feeble earth-bound thoughts. But many times I begin to write with earth-bound thoughts and discover the Spirit rise up and carry my words to higher places. That is why I write!

My shield of faith is "And the Lord said to me, 'Write my answer on a billboard, large and clear, so that anyone can read it at a glance and rush to tell the others." Habakkuk 2:2 TLB

Creator God, Father of The Word and source of my words, forgive me for allowing the enemy to steal Your glory. forgive me for letting him take away my purpose. Thank You for calling me to write for Your purpose. Teach me to listen to Your voice and silence the enemy for Your sake! I write for You and that fills my heart.

Excuses

It must be a human condition to make excuses. I know of no one, myself included, that accepts responsibility for his/edher actions all the time. Even when we accept the blame, we can find a reason why we acted the way we did. People, circumstances, our health, how we were raised or just how God made us can all become excuses for our actions, good or bad.

Recently, the Spirit of God open my eyes to the excuses I make. The first was in response to a Sunday School question: Why do we not hunger for more of God? Even the question begged me to face the excuses I make for being hungry and thirsty for the things of this world more than for God. I can think of pretty good excuses for letting the world and its lies take the place of knowing, really knowing the heart of God. However, my excuses most often involve my pride, yet they bring nods from others, Chrisitans included. But what does God think of my excuses?

The second mirror held up to reveal my excuses was a question from the study we are doing in Potter's Wheel: Why do I procrastinate with my writing if God has called me to write? Again, the question brought me face to face with not an explanation that could be accepted, but an excuse revealed as sin.

My excuses almost always include a statement avowing that I do the right things. I guess the truth is that I am not perfect. I do let other things replace my total dependence and walk with the Lord. Having my excuses exposed is the first step to repentance.

I bow before You Lord God Almighty in humble repentance of my sin of hiding behind my excuses. You have said that nothing is impossible with You. Could You have meant that there really is no excuse for me for not seeing and knowing You more every day and obeying Your direction for my life? Thank You for opening my eyes. Expose my excuses, Lord and teach me the blessings of being honest with You, myself and others.

Anniversary Musings

A good morning kiss becomes a sweet and tender moment blessing the new day with knowing we are together.

A call from work cut short by pressing duties is still cherished because we made a connection with a few words in the middle of our busy day.

Thinking of each other, remembering the past and celebrating today with cards, gifts and a dinner out becomes a party for two.

Making vows again to start another year is the commitment and promise to love when it is hard, to stay when we want to go, to face the opposition together not apart.

This is our 38th anniversary. Our today. Our celebration. We are deeply grateful to God for the gift of each other. We give thanks for the grace and blessings poured into our lives. It has been a good day!

Father God, Author and Builder of the marriage covenant and bond, we give You thanks! You have given us good gifts in each other and throughout our lives. Yes, there are times when we fail to see the gift and only see the struggle. Forgive us. Open our hearts each day to see Your blessing in the face of our spouse. Teach us to recognize You in each other and let us live together with You in eternity!

Changing Course

Dead ends are frustrating, discouraging, and maddening! After traveling down a road that seems promising, it is never a welcome sight to find it is a dead end. This is especially true when hopes have grown and dreams dwelt safely in our hearts for a long time.

A dead end means we must turn back and pick up all the footprints we thought we had left behind. On the way we search for another route so we can again move toward our goal. Often we simply let our thoughts travel around and around wondering how we got off track, or if our journey is really meant to reach the goal that now seems so far away. We feel lost. Our steps are sluggish, so different when we boldly started off down this road.

Hope and vision are the compass that we must follow. The question I must ask is where is the hope but in our God who has promised to complete the good work HE has begun? Where is the vision except the vision of His plans that HE has? Those good plans that do not harm? The frustration and discouragement of having to turn around and change course can turn into an adventure, or a time of growth through the challenge. It is a worthy effort to follow our hearts all the way to HIM who not only waits for us but also walks along side of us!

Present Sovereign God, You are with us always. You never leave us to find our way alone. Thank You! Forgive us for allowing the obstacles to shadow Your light along the path. Open our eyes to see YOUR vision and YOUR plan. Make our feet like hind's feet to travel with lightened steps, knowing You are waiting and walking with us all the way! You are Good!

Bullseye

Two weeks ago I made a trip to Colorado to visit my Mom. We had a great time. I am so happy I got to see her new place. We did many fun things together but it was on my way home that something remarkable happened to me!

Many years ago I read that sometimes when flying you can see a rainbow that is a complete circle. I've always wanted to see one, but like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow I thought it would never really happen. That is why I was amazed on my trip back home.

Having a window seat, I was entranced as we wove our way through clouds and over lakes and cities on our way home. Coming into Orlando we were flying through big fluffy clouds and came through a clear space with low flat clouds lying between the plane and the earth. Suddenly there was a circle of rainbow lying on the cloud! Even more astonishing was the bright white inner circle that held a sharp shadowed image of the plane! It was an awesome sight, and as I turned to share it with my seat mate, it disappeared.

I've contemplated that wonderful sight over these past two weeks. It seemed as if God was shining a spotlight on the plane and framed it with His rainbow. The truth I came away with after seeing this wonderful sight was that God sees us. He not only sees us, but His vision of us is perfect, bright, and framed with His loving promises. Yes, He does keep us under His watchful eye and frames His perfect vision of us with a rainbow of promise.

God of Promise and beauty, Thank You for showing me this perfect vision. You are The God who delights in revealing Himself to us! I pray that I will never forget Your watchful eye is on me. I never want to forget that You love me. I need your vision and Your promise. Thank You!

"It Takes"

This past Sunday my Grandlady, Paige, followed Jesus into the baptismal waters. It was not an easy trip for her to make. She faced opposition and disappointment before taking her final step announcing what her heart believed. She has given her heart to the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that her sins will be forgiven and that He will help her to grow more like Him every day. It was a wonderful celebration with the angels and those who love Jesus!

My husband, Patrick, and I had the privilege of spending some time with Paige, and her sister Brooke, the night before the baptism. We had dinner and enjoyed a movie together. As we fixed dinner, Paige confided in me that she was a bit scared about the baptism. I asked her if it was because of the crowd at church, and of course she said, "No." She told me then that she was worried that it (the baptism) wouldn't "Take." I stopped and looked at her asking if she had not already made the choice for Jesus to be her Lord and Savior. She replied quickly and with assurance that "Yes" she had. I told her that if that was the case then it already "Took" because Jesus was already in her heart. She was only taking her first step of obedience in following her Lord when she went under the water. The conversation quickly changed to the movie "Anne of Green Gables" that she had watched the night before.

When I make big decisions that take me in a new direction, I also wonder if it is going to "Take." Will my decision turn out to be right? Will things work out like I want them to work out? Will I really be going in the right direction? Yes, I too sometimes wonder if my decision to be a disciple of Christ has "taken," especially when I fight the hard battles within me. The battles are the enemy's effort meant to make me doubt, but Jesus has already won the victory for me on the cross.

Like Paige, I need to remember the truth. The battle for my heart has already been won! We have made the choice to let His victory "Take" in our lives.

Jesus, Lord and Savior, You have died, been buried and rose again so that we all can have victory! Forgive us for doubting Your gift of freedom from the eternal bondage of sin. Thank You for reminding us in our baptism that we have put our faith, our trust, and our lives in You who are faithful, strong and the Giver of grace. Teach us daily to walk in your ways even if we do not understand. I am happy to have my Grandlady, Paige as a sister in Christ! You are Good!

Church

I just heard someone say that people in America are not going to church. It was a statement made with an air of sadness. I have to agree that it is a thermometer of the faith of our "Christian" nation. Our thermometer does seem to measure a coldness toward church. Church attendance is important, but is going to church more important than being the church?

I grew up as a "good" Catholic. We went to church every Sunday and confessions every Saturday. I was schooled at the local Catholic school and it was expected that we make our church attendance a priority. I learned that my good attendance at church would be seen by God as a good life worthy of His grace. My problem was that going to church did not always translate into faith in God or a faith filled life outside of the church walls.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am very thankful to my Heavenly Father for the churches' influence on my life. Though I am no longer in the Catholic church, without the stories of the Saints, I would never have desired to have faith or to see that I was a sinner who needed God to save me. My point here is not about what the church teaches. It is that I believe the scriptures, God's Word, emphasizes going out and BEING the church, more than it tells us to go to church.

Of course, I know that I cannot be the church without going to church. The church is the Body of Christ. The church is where I am encouraged by God's Word and the fellowship of other Christians. But, I must leave the church building to go out and truly be the church Jesus desires. What is given to me in the church needs to be taken to those outside of the church.

Lord God, Head of the Body of Christ and founder of Your church, I give You praise for the role of church in my life. I ask You to forgive me for allowing the church to be a shield from the world instead of a safe haven where I can be renewed and equipped to go into the world. Thank You for the balance You created between going to church and being the church. Teach me to be Your church in the world that needs You. Remind me that the church is not a place to hide but a place to heal.
Labels: Christian, church, church attendance, God's word

Judgement Seat

I had a day dream the other day. I guess I should tell you that my day dreams resemble night time dreams in that I imagine a story more than just letting my mind wander from this to that, like a butterfly flying from flower to flower.

This dream occurred after church last Sunday. I attended the marriage class and one of the points made was that our spouses are a gift from God to us. It made me think about my own receiving and enjoying the gift of Patrick in my life. That is where my dream took flight.

In my dream I stood before the Judgement Seat in heaven. God the Father sat on His throne, and I stood opposite Jesus facing the Father. Though it was a judicial setting, it also had the feel of a very intimate conversation. The Father and Jesus looked at me, smiled, and asked if I got the gifts they had sent me. I told them that I had received their gifts of Salvation and the Holy Spirit. They looked at one another and smiled knowingly and with a pure and holy joy. It made me happy knowing I had pleased them.

They then asked me about the other gifts they had chosen specifically for me. I was confused. They, looked again at one another with quizzical looks as if they wondered why I hadn't recognized their personal love gifts for me. It was Jesus who spoke directly to me saying, "Did you enjoy your husband, children, family and friends fully as gifts from Me?" I stood silent knowing that I often enjoyed my family and my friends, but never saw them as gifts from My Father and My Savior. I hung my head.

My dream ended there but the lesson, I hope, will remain with me. God has chosen specific people to be in my life. From the day I was conceived to my dying day, I am presented with gifts of people to share my life. These every day gifts can become ordinary if I forget that they are from God's hand.

Father and Dear Jesus, You are the most generous of givers! You bless me when I do not deserve Your blessings. Thank You for the gift of my husband, children , grandchildren, children through love, sisters, brothers, friends, neighbors. The list goes on and on. I feel as if I am a Christmas tree piled high with gifts, and it is all because of You! I am sorry that I sometimes don't recognize the gifts You give. I even wish You had given me gifts that were different sometimes. But, I remember Your smiles when I told You how much I loved Your gifts of Salvation and the Holy Spirit. I want to make You smile more! Remind me every day to see Your presence in the presents You give! Thank You!

Doors

We bought a new front door today. It is beautiful, and I think it will be a welcoming addition to our home.

Doors are entry ways to new places. We walk through a doorway and the environment changes. Homes, doctor's offices, workplaces, churches, and stores all have their own atmosphere. The door is the gateway to whatever lies behind and often gives us clues as to what we can expect.

We walk up to some doors with fear, others with anticipation, and still others with curiosity. Some doors are meant to be opened by us and others need to be opened by the person on the other side. Some doors should never be opened at all, but we will talk about that at another time! Do all doors hold opportunity? I think the ones that should be opened do. Every entry we pass through presents us with a new experience or new people or both. We can learn something about ourselves, others or God with each open or even locked door.

Since not all doors lead to welcoming and happy places we must be prepared to face whatever may wait behind a door. Faith is the key that makes each door, no matter what lies behind, to be something good for us. Faith in a good God who promises that He will make all thing work out for our good is the only prerequisite for entering a door with peace.

What door will await me in the coming days? I don't know. I only know that my faith will make the passageway peaceful.

Jesus, You are the door to peace with God. You also knock on my door every day wanting to come in and commune with me. You are so good! Thank You for my new door. Thank You for the lessons from our world that teach me about You. Thank you for the peace that comes with faith and trust in You. Let my focus be on You and not the door I face. It is You I seek behind every door.

A Little Kingdom

The building of our little kingdoms starts early in life. How do I know? Well I have had the privilege of watching the construction of little governments with at least a dozen babies and young children.

Our experience in the world even as newborns gives us pleasure or pain. We swiftly set up rules that will increase our pleasure and limit our pain, but often we have no control over what happens. It is then we make it known to those whom we believe are our subjects, that we are not pleased and things had better change.

Today, I watched my Grandman, Jacob, try to exert his authority over me in his mini kingdom. He points his finger regally, and I am expected to give him whatever he wants. He is sweet as pie if I do, but the contorted faces and wails come swiftly if I fail to do his bidding. He has not yet realized that my kingdom is bigger, and I have conquered many little kingdoms in my time.

The idea of each of us having our own kingdoms is not my inspiration. I've been a part of a marriage class at our church with Paul Tripp's videos. He has made the point very clear that our kingdoms war against one another. I have put his teaching to the test, and I have learned that it is true. We all have our own governments with rules that we expect others to follow. I have seen kingdoms grow over the years, but it is funny that I never realized I had my own.

In my kingdom my rules must be obeyed, or I get testy and sullen. I can even get angry and mean. If you are in some relationship with me, I will expect you to follow my rules because I am the queen! I seldom recognize your kingdom unless we have a clash of rules. It is then we begin the battle for supremacy. It is only after I have wounded someone or demolished their territory that I begin to realize that there is another kingdom.

God has a kingdom. His kingdom was brought to earth by Jesus and He invited me to be a part of it years ago. There are many days when I have surrendered my rights to His government and things go well with me and those around me. But, then there are other days when My kingdom raises its selfish banner and storms out to conquer my world regardless of God's rules or royal will.

I have felt the sting of warring kingdoms. Battles between me and God, others and the world leave me sometimes prideful and often wounded and sad. It is hard to surrender to God's government when I still struggle with a sinful nature. It is a challenge to stand firm in a world that rejects God's kingdom. Most of all it is a trial to join a family of mini kingdoms under God's governing rule. Thy kingdom come, Lord Jesus!

Lord Jesus, King of the Universe and Lord and Master over my kingdom, You are the one and only worthy King! Your Government will rule and reign. Your kingdom does not always bring peace between others and myself. Your government wages war on my sin! Forgive me Lord when I do not surrender willingly to You. Forgive me for rising up in pride and the boasting of my greatness, that is not really great. Let Your kingdom come and rule in my heart daily. I surrender again to Your will. You are my King, my Sovereign Lord!

Doing What I Do Best

A square peg in a round hole just doesn't fit. Forcing the square into the hole will only cause frustration and exhaustion. The same is true for us who try to be something we are not to be.

When I try to be another Maya Angelou or Elizabeth Barrett Browning I lose a part of who I am. I become a crippled producer of the talents and gifts given to me by my Creator. I am made to be me! I am called for a purpose that can only be accomplished by being the complete person I am.

When you see my work, I want you to see the whispers of God flowing through me. I need to be the unique vessel that carries a unique message to the world. I am meant to be the square peg that cannot fit into another mold. I am also to be the incomparable talent that fits only in the place designed for me. I think you are meant for that too!

Creator God, You are unique and amaze me over and over again! Thank You for giving me a purpose and a one-of-a-kind way to fulfill it. Without You I could never make it work. I trust myself to You and Your plan. Lead me. Teach me. Fill me and finish me. I do what I do, the best I can for You!

Justice

Justice cannot be served unless the WHOLE truth is known. I thank God that He knows all truth, even mine, and yet has mercy for HIS children.

The above statement was my response after much heart searching and seeking God about the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial. My heart was in conflict from the beginning. I never want to think that a Mom could take the life of their children, unborn or otherwise. I was, however convinced of Casey's guilt and more so after seeing what evidence the prosecution had. Yes, I understand that they had nothing to link her directly, but the circumstances do point to her.

I struggled over the verdict because I wanted justice to be done. I want the who, what, where, why, and how questions to be fully answered, but this is one of those circumstances where I must put my trust in a just and holy God who will bring us all to accountability for our deeds.

And, so, I have come to realize that in EVERY case, in every life, there is NO justice without the entire truth being known. In that truth, I must accept that the only true justice will happen in front of the judgement seat of God. Here on this earth we can only judge rightly by studying the KNOWN facts and handing down judgement accordingly.

The jurors in the Casey Anthony case did their best. The prosecutors did their best, and even though I do no agree with his methods, Mr. Baez also did his best and with passion. The case is closed. Casey will face a just God someday. If He finds her innocent then He will also know the truth of who is guilty and will judge him or her.

Holy and Just God of all, You are the only righteous judge. I thank You for seeing the truth that lies within me and judging me fairly and yet with an amazing mercy that I can never fully comprehend. Thank You for Your Son Jesus who took the punishment for my sin. May it be that the Anthony family will find Your mercy as well. Help me to be a voice of truth in this matter. I trust You!

Ten Magical Gifts

I like to make lists of things I would like to have someday. Most of these things are listed on my computer in a file called "Gifts." I have books and music mostly. They are not expensive, but I consider them a luxury I would like to indulge in for myself someday.

Recently, however, a friend gave me a list of things to write about. Number three on the list is "Ten gifts I'd give myself with magic." To be honest I closed my eyes and went through a mental list pretty quickly. It surprised me because there were no riches, cars or houses on my list. Now don't get me wrong, after my first list, I did think it would be nice to magically give myself the house I've been dreaming about for a year now. And I also thought of a lump sum of cash that would help me finish up some special projects I've had on the back burner because of lack of funds. But looking at my first wish list made me realize what I really want.

Here is my list:
1.Wisdom: I don't need to wish for wisdom because God promises to give it to me just for the asking.
2.Liberty: God gives me freedom from all bondage's when I walk in unity with His Spirit.
3. Love: I am filled with Christ's love.
4. Relationships: He has also given me the gift of loving relationships in abundance both with family and friends.
5. Purpose: The talents and gifts God has placed in me have eternal purpose. As I use them and grow in them, I live with purpose.
6. Trust and Faith: These go so closely together that I couldn't pull them apart. In the past I thought I had to work at having faith and trust in God. I am beginning to see them as treasures that God gives in small ways like a seed, and then He waters and feeds them with His word and presence in my life.
7. Hope: Because I know Jesus as my Savior and Lord I have hope for my future. I have only eternal hope and no doubt that my faith will bring rewards.
8. Intellect: Yes, God has given me a curious and thinking brain. I am blessed to be able to choose for myself and yet able to think through all my options, of which God's way has always been found to be the best.
9. Joy: Even in the midst of trials I can always find joy in knowing that He is present in my life. Yes, God again is the source of this gift.
10: Peace: Finally, God gives me a peace that passes understanding. I cannot always understand why I am able to get through the tough times, but God's peace resides in me to help me through.

Okay, so these are not "Magical" and they are not given to myself by me. They are gifts from God. I don't need to wish for them or create a magic spell. I receive them as an inheritance for being a child of the Most High God!

I don't think I'll make another list. I like this one!

Most High God and Father, You are a generous giver of the best gifts! Thank You for letting me be Your child and for being my Father who knows exactly what I want. There are moments, Lord, when I want the other gifts more than Your precious gifts. I am sorry for being so earthly minded. Please forgive me! Continue to pour Your wonderful gifts on me every day. I will treasure all of Your presents in my life even those that are only for this earthly life. Thank You for them too!

Childhood Memories

Do I remember truth about my childhood? I find it interesting to ask my six (yes, 6) siblings what they remember about certain events in our childhood. There is a mystery in every remembrance that I share with family. We can laugh or cry in empathy with parts of a story, but often there are parts I do not recognize. Each story is personalized for the individual.

Where can I go to find out the truth? Maybe it takes all of us telling our stories to see the bigger picture. Listening to my sisters and brothers tell about their relationships with our parents allows me to see a fuller picture of Dad and Mom.

One of my sisters shared Dad's love of aviation. She delights in telling stories about the things they shared. I love learning about all those wonderful treasures she found hidden in my Dad. But He was more than that! I enjoyed sharing with him some very special moments uniquely mine. Many of them were priceless images of his love of beauty and his art and creative talents. Each of us has something to share about Dad that the others need to know.

Mom shared her love of the church and her faith more deeply with my older sister. Though we may all have shared Mom's love of music and her cultural food dishes, we all seem to have found little unique treasures that we tucked away into our memories. Again, mom gave each of us unique experiences that need to be shared with the rest.

Our personal and unmatched memories are intertwined with each other. Our individual remembrances need not be a cause for argument or misunderstanding. They should be used as opportunities to fit the puzzle pieces together to see the big picture. We are a family! Family memories are a portrait of us!

Father God, Creator of the family and head of our forever family, You are wise and good. I thank You for giving me family. Thank You for the earthly family I was born into and for the eternal family into which I was born again. I forget sometimes to treasure those moments with family. Forgive my ungrateful, and selfish heart. I, too often, want my way and my memories to be right. Teach me to let the whole truth make my remembrances a clearer picture so that I might learn the lessons my family was meant to teach. Thank You!

Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis is a process of change. I am not a scientist, but I do know that butterflies undergo an amazing metamorphosis. A furry and plain caterpillar will cocoon himself and emerge as a colorful reshaped creature that is free to fly. I think God delights in this change and uses similar processes for us.

Sometimes the process is a short one, other times, in us humans, it can take decades. How do humans metamorphose? I watched one yesterday.

I had the privilege of accompanying my sister and niece as they looked for a Mother-of-the-Bride dress. The wedding is only about 8 weeks away. My sister was putting off the shopping trip so she could lose weight. She began the trip apprehensive and uncertain as to what was appropriate, or if she could find what she really wanted. She was going shopping knowing it had to be done but dreading the trying on and the choices to be made.

My part in the process was to wrap her in a cocoon of prayer. I was asking God to do a transformation from the fuzzy thinking into clear thoughts and a beautiful feeling of freedom to be herself. God answered my prayers! I watched her search racks and reluctantly try on outfits, 'til one stood out as the perfect shape. Next it was time to decide on color. She had in mind what she wanted but hesitated because of what others were planning to wear. I encouraged her to let God and her desires be the priority instead of what others might think. God worked on her too, I finally saw the sparkle in her eyes and the beauty within unveiled! She will be a beautiful hostess for this wedding of her daughter!

In some ways, I am struggling to get out of my cocoon too. Are you in a phase of metamorphosis as well? It may be a huge change or it may be a simple change of thought or the making of a decision that sets you free. The God who made butterflies has sent us His Holy Spirit to lead us through the process! Little by little He will change us into the likeness of Christ and bring us to everlasting life free and beautiful!

God and Creator of butterflies, You are amazing in Your works! You are the author of change that lasts within us! You understand the process of dying to self in order to live again. Thank You for making that metamorphosis happen in me! Forgive me when I fight the change you want in my life. I surrender to Your change today.

The War Between Pride & Humility

I am not looking for fame or riches. I am not seeking a spotlight for myself, or am I?

There is a part of me that wants very much to impact the world for God. I want to speak the right words and do the right things that will glorify Him and help people who are lost or wandering in circles to find their way to Him. But there is another place in my heart where I want people to notice me, know me, recognize MY worth.
Pride and Humility war within me!

Yesterday, I shared with the Bible Study ladies how awed I am that our God exhibits the character quality of humility. Because of His humble nature He resists the proud. God has every right and is the only one worthy to hold Himself high, but He does not. What an amazing God! He loves first, before He is loved. He lifts me up, before I lift Him. He forgives me, before I am able to forgive others.

God of wonder and Glory, You are humble in heart. You carry me through all my trials and triumphs. You do not grasp for attention or the glory You deserve. Forgive me when I do. Let Your humble Spirit grow in me. Teach me to depend on others and You more than on my own understanding and ability. Thank You for speaking into my heart first. Thank You for loving and forgiving me first. Thank You for giving grace to the humble. I need You, because I need grace.

Scotsman's Whistle

When I was a little girl, I learned about many sayings and traditions of my heritage. My Dad was proud of his Scottish heritage and would playfully share little things he enjoyed about our bloodline. One of these was about the Scotsman's whistle.

It is well known that the Scottish are known as being frugal and sometimes even being tight with their money and possessions. It brings a smile to my face to remember the many times my sisters, brothers and I would suck on a straw to the bottom of our drink till it made a loud slurp. Though it may not have been a melodious tune, Daddy would give a little laugh and ask who was making the Scotsman's whistle. You see, a Scot will get every drop and the whistle comes from that effort to get that very last sip.

The Scotsman's whistle gives me cause to think about each day filled with so much to experience and enjoy. It is at the end of every day that we can look back and ask if we have taken every moment and savored it. I ask myself if I have used my Scotsman's whistle for every experience. So many times I have not, but I must admit that when I do my pleasure is complete.

It is my understanding that God wants us to live life abundantly and to me, being Scottish, that means He wants to hear a Scotsman's whistle at the end of each life experience. In that context a Scottish whistle is a praise to God!

Praise to You Father God! You are fun, mysterious, and abundant in life! Thank You for giving us so much to enjoy. I want to enjoy life in abundance, but so often I forget to get that last little sip out of life and thus forget that you would want to hear my Scotsman's whistle. Forgive me, and help me remember to breathe in every moment with gusto and praise to YOU!

The Faith of Jesus

Today is my daughter's birthday. Erin is my first born and so I credit her birth to graduating me into motherhood. Our relationship has taught me how to be a Mommy and a Mom. She is a delight in my life and she gives me much joy. She pleases me by being strong, courageous, intelligent , beautiful and amazing! It also pleases me when she trusts me. She learned to trust me as a baby when I supplied her every need. Through the years she has learned to trust my words and my support. She believes in my love for her and that is good.

Without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6)

I want to please God. I suppose that my relationship with God begins with faith. My trusting Him for salvation pleases Him. When I trust my Heavenly Father for daily needs, He is happy.

Father God was pleased with Jesus as He walked this earth. He spoke words of pleasure over Jesus at His baptism: This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. (Matthew 3:17) These thoughts cause me to wonder if Jesus lived by faith. He didn't need faith for salvation because He did not need to be saved but came to save. Every thing Jesus did here on earth, however, was an act of faith.

What did Jesus' faith look like? He said that He did not do anything unless He saw the Father doing it.(see John 5:19) That is faith in action. Jesus depended on the Father to show Him what to do, tell Him what to say, and provide for His every need all the way to the cross. Jesus came not only to save but to model for us the faith we needed to please God.

Father God, I want to please You. I want to have faith in my every day life that will make You smile and look on me with delight. I don't always depend on You, though. I sometimes try to live my life trusting my own strength and wisdom, but it seldom works. Forgive me. Plant the seed of faith in my heart. Teach me how to tend it so it will grow and become strong! Thank you for sending Rabbi Jesus to teach me how to live by faith. I pray I will love You like He does, trusting Your goodness, faithfulness and love.

Enjoy God

Over the last few months I have heard the phrase, "Enjoy God" many times. It makes me wonder what it really means, and do I enjoy God?

When I enjoy my Grandchildren I take pleasure in their voices, touch and all they do. My two youngest grands are with me all day and lately they have been putting smiles on my face and a sweet delight in my soul. They are blossoming in personality, curiosity,and exploration. It makes me wonder if I enjoy God that way too.

I enjoy God's word and His voice that speaks ever so gently but with authority to me. I delight in His creation. It is filled with beauty and wonder. He gives me pleasure as I learn about Him, but do I really enjoy Him? Just Him? Could I spend my days watching creation unfold, or look for Him in each person I meet? Am I entranced by His personality, the way He laughs or His tender heart for the hurting? There is so much to enjoy about God. He will never be dull and boring.

I could go through my day walking beside God and never really look over at Him and smile just because He is near. I could, and often do, but that is not enjoying Him. It is not what He wants for me. You see, I believe He enjoys me. Yes, simple and sinful me. He delights in my accomplishments and the way I try to please Him. He is my Father, friend, and King. I can live my life without loving my time with Him, but that is not His desire, nor mine! I want to enjoy God! Do you?

Awesome and delightful God of all creation and glory, You are amazing! There will never be a time when the newness of You will get old. I want to smile every day because of You being by my side. I want to dance, and sing, and play, and rest in You! Forgive me for the days when You become hidden and I enjoy those things You give more than who You are. Thank You for all of You and all You do! Come into my private world so that I can enjoy You and You alone!

Fast Words

I belong to various social networks. Because I have a passion for communication God's truth, I believe that blogging, Facebook, Linked In and Twitter help me to get the word out. Unfortunately sometimes I become painfully aware that too many words, coming in or going out, can cause stress. I then demand a word fast of myself.

A word fast can limit my words, but it cannot take them away completely. I can limit the words going out, but often times my thoughts become an explosion of words waiting to find a release. A word fast can also limit the noise of others' words coming into my mind. T.V. Radio, internet and phone calls can tease and tempt me to allow and abundance of voices into my thoughts. A word fast may not stop the word rush through my brain, but it can hush them into a whisper that allows God's voice to be heard more clearly. It also allows my own thoughts to join with The Word of God.

I need to unite my thoughts with my Lord constantly. His word is truth, light and hope for me. And so, I will speak when it is time to speak, but I will fast words when it is time to listen to His still small voice.

Word of God, You are my truth, light and hope! You are always available but with so many voices, I sometimes do not hear You clearly. Forgive me for the times I allow the world to be louder than You! Thank You for placing within me a deep need to hear Your voice. I know your voice and long to hear it continually. Teach me how to turn down the volume of the world and turn up the volume of You!

Test

I am testing the blog to see if I need to continue writing in the html symbols in order to have a break between paragraphs.

If this works it will make things so much easier! and it will look better on my blog too!

I hope this makes you smile!

A Time For....

Everything has an appointed time in our lives. Lately I have been silent here in my blog as I've spent my words in other places. I want to revive my voice on this page, and so, I begin with whispers.


Silence, at first glance, seems simple, however, It is interestingly complicated and surprisingly noisy.


Being quiet is complicated because we cannot shut out the world. Our decision to stop our voice can be met with many unforeseen obstacles. Communication is a tool needed to connect with the world around us. Finding ways to communicate without using our preferred methods of using words, is an adventure. Opinions from people in our lives as well as our own inner desires convolute the terrain of silence.


Silence will surprise most of us with the noise it awakens! Inner voices, ourselves and God's, become louder and more insistent as we give our voices a much needed rest. Listening to God, the world, and our own minds and hearts reveals interesting truths.


One of the most interesting revelations I discovered in my blogged silence is who is listening to me. It is humbling to know that my words may or may not be all I thought them to be. I am also made aware of the wisdom of others when I quiet my own words.


I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not write so that I can do all the talking. I write for conversation. For this reason a time of silence is golden! I listen, learn and enjoy the voices of others. I long to hear more than the days events in others lives. I want to hear thoughts, ideas, emotions and wisdom learned. I am listening for your voice!


I am back, but I may have times of silence now and then. I will be listening for you.


Word of God, thank You for communicating Your heart and thoughts to me! You have communicated to Your people and I believe You want us to share with one another. Please forgive us when we fail to listen to You and each other! Teach us to listen before we speak. Teach us to lift up our voices for what is good, true and pure. In our times of vast communication may we not be a part of the city of Babel, but the voice crying in the wilderness to make way for Your coming! Thank You for the silence. Thank You for words to share. Thank You.

Imperfect Moms

Mother's Day cards all seem to insist that Moms are perfect. I think we all know better, but Moms sure love to hear that they are perfect for their kids.


Some years ago, one of my daughters, whom I won't name, wanted me to be perfect, but over and over again I failed to meet her expectations. She was in the stage where Mom didn't understand or know that she was so very smart and wise and did not need my limited wisdom to help her become a successful and happy adult.


My heart ached for the choices she was making. She thought she was making good choices but as one by one those choices failed her, I sat in my prayer closet and prayed that all things would work for her good, because she loved the Lord and was called according to His purpose. I am glad to say that none of her choices were permanent heartaches. They were only little bumps in the road to true wisdom.


It was during this time that I wrote a poem expressing the truth about Moms, especially about me. I am including it here and in my Poetry Impressed blog in honor of Mother's Day and for all of us imperfect Moms.


Perfect Mom


I’m not a perfect mom.
How could I ever be,
When four small little ones
Once sat upon my knee?


My arms could hold not one
The same as for the next.
My mouth could speak no perfect words
There was no perfect text.


I could not do the perfect thing
Each special child would need.
I could not be someone I am not
For four such different seeds.


Somewhere in my heart
A perfect love does grow.
It covers all my sins
I hope someday they’ll know.


I am one imperfect mom
Yet try so hard to live
Loving each child perfectly
As much as I can give!


Carolynn J. Scully
©2011 (edited)


Father, You are the perfect creator of mothers. We fail to walk a perfect life and need Your forgiveness as well as forgiveness from our children. Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus to be raised by one of us. Jesus' Mother, Mary, was not perfect and still You placed Your Son in her arms. Certainly You had a plan. I believe You also have a plan for my children. Take what I have given them and perfect it in their hearts. Let them see the perfect God through my imperfect life that trusts You!

Enjoy God

I'm back! I've taken a short leave from blogging for a couple of reasons. I have been very busy, and I have also been frustrated with having to deal with HTML codes when posting my blog so they are readable. I have been pleasantly surprised and delighted at how many have mentioned that they miss my blog. Thank you to all who take time to read my ramblings. I always pray they inspire, encourage and maybe even provoke you to draw closer to our Lord.



I am reading John Piper's book, When I Don't Desire God ~ How to Fight for Joy Early in the book he discusses the idea of enjoying God. I put down the book after reading that section and thought about it for days. At the same time Patrick and I were reading our devotion book by Walter Wangerin Jr. about the passion of Christ. Wrapping my thoughts around enjoying God and remembering His passion was not an easy task.



I enjoy watching my Grandchildren. They are a delight to watch. Their smiles make me smile and their efforts at exploring the world amaze me. But what if I could not see their smiles, or hear their babbling? Could I, would I, enjoy them less? I guess I must admit here that I do not have full understanding of how we enjoy God, any more than I understand why I enjoy changing the diapers of my grandchildren. I only know that I love being with them, and I love being close to God.



I don't need to see a miracle, listen to inspiring songs of praise, or even read an amazing passage in the scripture to enjoy God. I only need to take a deep breath, close my eyes and whisper His name. His name makes His presence real to me and I enjoy His fullness.



I believe that we can enjoy God, not because of the blessings He gives, but because He is present in our lives. I know He is. It is good to know God. It is wholly satisfying to know He is. If I lived in a vacuum with nothing but God I could still enjoy him. He is enough!



Oh Great I AM, You are more than enough! You have given more than enough to convince us of Your existence, and yet we struggle to enjoy You. Lord, I know I can enjoy You without all the blessings, but somehow, it seems easier when You do intervene in my life. In fact it makes the enjoyment greater! Thank You for giving more than Your existence. Thank You for allowing me to enjoy the blessings. Lord, teach me to look beyond the blessings and see You. Let me enjoy You above all else!

Too Much Stuff

For months now I have been going through my possessions and making decisions on what I need and what must go. It is not an easy task, especially for someone like me who keeps things for memories' sake. I have a lot of memories. Little trinkets that I have stashed away into little boxes take me back in time when I find them during my clean up times. The question I must ask myself is it necessary to keep the mementos in order to remember?



The past has given me many gifts. My life is a culmination of all those events that are remembered and even those that have been long forgotten. I am not convinced though, that I need all my stuff to make the memories live again. It seems to me that all of those memories do live in me here in the present. Each memory has made its mark on my life and that impression has molded me in some way. Even more important are the choices I made and continue to make because of what has happened to me.



Cleaning out all the stuff is a good thing. I'm not ready to get rid of it all but I am simplifying my life and my living space. I am making big changes and I am making a memory of my choice to live free from the things that hold me down and clutter my life. I think Jesus would like that. It is time to be the me I am today, not the me I was yesterday!



Lord of my every day, You are Eternal. You are present in my yesterdays, today, and tomorrows. It is You that must be remembered. I need to look for You in every day, but I so often look more at myself. Help me to turn my eyes to You and let You fill up all the places of my mind and heart. Thank you for the promise of Your presence. I need you!

Breathe !

My Mom has told me stories of when I was a little girl fighting an asthma attack. She would sit by my bedside and will me to "Breathe." I can imagine she would whisper "Breathe" over and over, watching carefully my little chest as it struggled to take in the air I needed to live. Now that I have been a Mom, I can imagine the terror it would bring to her as she waited those eternal seconds before another breath would fill my lungs. How many long nights did she sit watching? I don't know, but one would be enough.



Anyone who has sat near a loved ones bedside as they made their last few breaths before leaving this life behind, can also attest to the desire to be able to will them the next breath. There are times, however, when the desire is for it all to be over. for the next breath to be the last so the pain and agony would be finished.



I have felt the desire to stop the breathing. I was again attacked by asthma as an adult after many years of freedom from its torture. I waited impatiently for the doctor and silently prayed for the end of breathing because it hurt so much. I am glad that I did not succomb, but I know the feeling of wanting to give up the pain for peace.



I wonder if Jesus wanted the pain to stop as He struggled to breathe on the cross. Did He have to suffer a certain amount of time in order for the sacrifice to be accomplished? Could He have given up the Spirit sooner to stop the pain? Would He?



The torture of gasping for breath on the cross must have seemed far longer for Jesus than the three hours He suffered. Even from the cross, Jesus had things to say and work to do for the people He loves. He needed to forgive, provide, love and finish the work He was meant to do. Because of that, He continued to breathe. How many breaths did He struggle to take in those last hours? Each one was a precious gift to us, as precious as the first breath He took as a tiny baby from heaven. His life was lived so that He could die the holy sacrifice for our sins, for my sins.



Holy Jesus, Sacrificial Lamb of God, Your every breath on this earth was a gift to the entire world. Your life was lived with the purpose of loving mankind. Thank You for making it possible for me to believe in You. Forgive me when I forget that Your need for air and water and food, was all for my good. Help me to use my need for air,water and food for Your glory, Lord, it is the least I can do.

Believe the Truth

It must be very sad for people that are very alive to find out that they are presumed dead. Of course if they want to disappear and not be found, it might be a relief. Then there are those who are estranged from family or friends who might find themselves erased from the other persons' "alive" list through no desire of their own. What must God feel when people declare Him dead?

I think it is apparent that if someone should say God is dead, they must have believed at sometime that He was alive. The question I would ask them would be, "How did He die?" I might even want to know the where and when of His death. Then there is the fact that if God is God and He is dead, who is holding everything together? Ultimately saying that God is dead is a silly and unfounded premise except in the mind of fools.

What does an estranged family member feel when they discover that the other person has declared them dead? Anger may cause them to push away futher allowing the deception to continue til the ultimate of separation takes place. Grief could encourage them to work toward a solution which may never be resolved if the other person refuses to believe in a resurrection. In any case it is very sad when hate destroys relationships.

I wonder how Jesus felt when walking on the road to Emmaus talking to two of His followers that believed He was dead. They didn't recognize Him until He revealed Himself through His unique way of communing with them through the bread and wine. These men, and even Mary Magdalene, who met Him near the garden tomb, were blinded by their belief that Jesus was dead. They could not see the truth standing in front of them until He revealed it to them. I can imaging His saddness that their belief fell short of letting them see Him alive. He did not want them to grieve over him because He lived! He had won the victory over the grave for them and their little faith was not even enough to allow them to se the truth of Him standing before their eyes. Jesus, did not turn away from them and let them stay in their unbelief, but gently revealed himself and then went on his way.

Believing in the truth helps us to see past the grave. The truth that surrounds us in all of creation will prove God still lives! The truth that misspoken words and thoughtless actions can be resolved, will enable relationships to be resurrected to live in strength because of the working through the storm. The truth of history and the fulfillment of all God said in his word proves Jesus' resurrection from the dead. We only need to believe truth.

Father of Truth, You cannot lie. You ask me to trust You and believe all that You have said, and what I have experienced in the world that reveals You. I am so sorry that I have failed to believe fully sometimes. I have been as Mary and the disciples. I have seen the truth in front of me and failed to believe. Reveal yourself to me as You have done for them! Thank You for not being a respecter of persons, for You will offer me and my loved ones the same opportunites for faith as You did Your disciples. Thank You! Thank You!

Jesus Sees Me

The other day while I was reading the devotion Patrick and I are doing for Lent, I began to weep. The words were so powerful and hit hard in my spirit.

The story was about Pilate asking the crowd who they wanted released for the Passover. They called for Barabbas' release so Pilate asked what to do with Jesus. They cried out as a mob to crucify Him. Walter Wangerin pointed out that Jesus heard it all. How sad! Then Mr. Wangerin noted that the religious leaders who had brought Jesus to Pilate wanted the crowd to unite and force the hand of the Roman Governor. They gave no thought to the persons who made up the crowd. But, Jesus did. He was concerned for each individual that was caught up in the moment and shouted out the death sentence for Him.

Jesus looked into the crowd and saw each person and knew them. He, as God, knew their names, their hurts, joys, trials and triumphs. He knew their hearts. He knew which ones would someday hear about His resurrection and repent of their part in this mob hanging, and all of their sins against the Holy God. It is that thought that made me cry.

Jesus sees me. He knows my failures and my successes. He is fully aware that I too, have a spirit that is willing, but a flesh that is weak. He stood quietly and let the mob demand His death. For each of us He stands and accepts our sentence. He accepted the price for each individual, for me.

Dearest Lord Jesus, Your love is overwhelming and again I feel tears welling up. I am painfully aware that I have been in the crowd of people who call for Your death, not knowing that it should have been different. You wanted me to choose the right way to live, but I chose the wrong path. You never stopped loving me, even when my heart rose up against You and wanted to do away with Your love and light for my dark soul. Forgive me! I pray that when You see into my heart, You know that I am one of the crowd that will find You and accept Your promises. Thank You for seeing and knowing me.

A Time for Silence

Shhh. Be quiet. I remember my Mom often saying to us that if we didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I think I've learned that lesson because I am seldom caught saying mean things about or to others. Even if I think the words that can hurt, I find myself trying to hold back, or at the most, say what I need to say in a kind and gentle way. It doesn't always work. Sometimes even those so called kind and gentle words come out with a sharp edge and hurt someone.

I do find it hard to be silent sometimes. I want to get into a conversation, or to let my thoughts find a voice. I guess we all do. Some people can get away with saying whatever they want, others find it a disaster no matter how they frame their words. Me? I guess I land in the middle of those two extremes. If I plan carefully I might be able to say what I want without repercussions. However, there are times when my words tumble about, and no matter how well planned they fall onto the ground and make a puddle of mud that I have to wade through. YUCK. I don't like when that happens. So, I am learning to be silent.

Silence is not an admission that a person is wrong, nor does it indicate their intelligence or lack thereof. Silence should be used in balance, always letting God direct our words to do the best for others. Silence can be wise, kind, and a sign of trust. Jesus was silent before His accusers. He put His trust in the Father and kept the truth to Himself. Jesus knew that to be silent would allow evil to have its way and yet, He let it be.

What do I learn from Jesus about silence? I learn that there is a time when the Father would demand silence for the greater good. He might even demand it of me. In fact, in my silence, I might hear the Fathers' voice more clearly. Jesus stood in silence. Maybe He heard the Fathers' voice above all the shouting. Maybe He heard, "This is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." I hope He didn't have to hear the cries of, "Crucify Him. Crucify Him!" Sadly I think He did.

Lord Jesus, Your silence speaks loudly to me. You chose to allow evil have its day so that You would have the final victory. I look back over many times when I have failed to ask You when to speak and when to keep silent. Forgive me for choosing my own way, and not Yours. Thank You for teaching me about the gift of silence, even when it takes me to an uncomfortable place. Let me sit before You often in silence so that I can hear Your voice above the noise of the world and the thoughts that scream for attention in my mind. I love Your voice. It is wise and kind and in it I can trust!

A Blue Balloon

Balloons are delightful to children. It is fun to watch their amused looks and wonder at the brightly colored ball floating through the air attached to a string they hold tight in their hands. I remember each of my children smiling wide as the balloon followed them with just a little encouraging tug on the string. They all also felt the deep disappointment when they momentarily eased their grip and the balloon floated away up into the heavens. Oh, they watched their blue, pink or yellow flier climb high and become smaller and smaller. They expected it to come back but it never did. It was gone, for good.

One of my first mothering experiences with a runaway balloon came when my first daughter was maybe two or three. At first, Erin was surprised that her toy was moving away, and then her surprise turned into tears. I began to comfort her and told her that God would take care of her balloon, and that I was very sure He was happy that she let it go up to Him. With tear filled eyes, Erin turned to me and said, "But I don't want God to have my balloon!"

I've discovered that same story lives in me. There are somethings dear to my heart that I hold onto very tight. I grasp and try so very hard to keep my treasure close. Inevitably it slips away from me, maybe by the gentle tug of my Heavenly Father who really does know what is best for me. I am surprised, because I've fought so hard to keep them close. Then I am brokenhearted to lose what I thought was so precious. I watch with impossible hope, my heart following after the lost possession.

I feel empty. I am empty handed and I cry out that I don't want God to have what belongs to me! I sense the loss, and my eyes fill with tears. I don't want to let go. I do not want God to have my home, family, career, ministry or a million other things. They belong to me, don't they? The truth is that those idols I grasped so tightly were never mine. I was bound to them. My Lord God is a jealous God, wanting me for His own! He desires my freedom from bondage and will set me free even if it causes me some momentary pain. Oh, what a Good God He is!

God of wonder and infinite love, You loosen the strings and ropes that bind me to people, places and things, not so that I will be hurt, but so that I will be set free! You set me free so that You can be greater in me and for me! You are Good. Thank You for taking away those tethers that tie me down. Thank You for setting me free to reach upwards to You and come closer to You! Forgive me when I forget that I am the balloon set free. Forgive me for wanting to be tied down more than to fly high to You! Remind me always that You are my Freedom, You are my Deliverer, You are where my treasure lies! God I want You to have all of me!

Be Patient

Dear Readers, I am so very sorry that my posts are not being posted to you with the paragraph breaks I am making. I am needing to insert a special html symbol in order to make the paragraph breaks work. Unfortunately I forget until I see the post as seen by you.

Please be patient with me. I will soon learn to do this as I type and make things easier for you to read!

Blessings to all, Carolynn

Thunderstorms Coming

Early this morning the news has issued warnings of severe weather coming our way. Possibilities of lightning with the storms as well as tornado watches. So far nothing has been seen at my house except for overcast skies. The cloudy skies make me sleepy, the warnings of coming storms keep me alert.

In the same way, God has given us warnings in the Bible. A tribulation will come (See Mark 13:24-27). We may or may not experience the Great Tribulation described in scripture, but in life we will confront trials that will shake us and cause us to seek shelter from the storm. Will we heed the warnings? Will we seek shelter in the strong tower or in some hastily built faith or good works hoping to make it through?

Storms can come through our lives quickly or linger for years. They can also vary in intensity. Whatever the storm, Jesus has proven to be the One we can turn to. He is our strong tower, our ark, our peace. I can sleep through the warnings or I can stay alert and be ready when the time comes. Jesus has made it clear that He wants me to stay awake and alert. We may need to ride out the storm to the end, but Jesus always brings peace to us if we let Him.

Lord Jesus, Calmer of the storm and Prince of Peace, Thank You for being my shelter and covering. Forgive me for the times I fail to seek You for protection from the enemy, the world and even my own sinful nature! I want to run to You every time, but I sometimes get tripped up and fall into so many traps from which I cannot free myself. I need You in every storm of life. I need You

Coming Home

Tonight at the airport, my sister, family and friends will welcome home my niece, Lyn, from her tour of duty in South Korea. Though I won't be able to be there, I can already see in my minds eye, the tears, hugs, smiles and cheering as Lyn walks off the plane. I imagine her being tired but happy to be home for now.

Lyn is in the Air Force. She loves it. It has been a place for her to shine and grow and find a future and purpose. Though she has been happy doing her work, she has also had to miss holidays and special moments with family. She has experienced homesickness and the rigors of working without the rest and comfort of a very familiar place. We tried to help her by sending a poster with all our hands traced on it with our names and little notes inside. We titled it "Reach Out and Touch Someone!" Lyn was missed and we are glad to have her home for a little while. I am pretty sure she missed home and is happy to have time to be here too.

Over the past few weeks my sister has counted down the weeks, then the days and now the hours til she will reach out and touch her daughter after such a long time. As I watched and listened to my sister, I wondered if Jesus waits as she does, to finally reach out and touch us? Does He long for the human touch of those He has saved? I think He must! I know from my own experience that I get homesick for heaven sometimes. I long to have Jesus wrap His arms around me and whisper "I love you" in my ear. I can only imagine, just like the song, what I really will do when that time comes.

Jesus knows the number of my days, but I don't. He knows, and yet, He encourages me to keep running the race with Him to the finish line. He does not want me to stop and wait for the minutes to catch up. He wants me to use every minute to love God, love people and serve.

Father, Thank You for bringing Lyn home for awhile. This is only a rest time for her as she continues on her journey doing her work and to be the best she can be. Let it be a time of filling for her. Allow her to be filled with all the good things she loves. You have made good plans for each of us. Forgive us for not accepting Your time and Your place and Your purpose for our lives. Thank You for helping us when we fall down and giving us the strength to keep running the race to the last breath! You are so GOOD!

Give Us This Day

Yesterday at Journey Christian Church it was Compassion Sunday. The speaker, Peter Habyakimana, was a child recipient of Compassion's ministry help. He now speaks to churches across the globe stirring peoples' hearts to help the poor children of the world.

Peter told us his story and over and over he emphasized that, growing up, he was never sure of his tomorrow. He lived in fear of dying and asking himself the question, "Do I have a tomorrow?" In my experience That question rarely comes to our privileged minds. We simply assume that we have many more tomorrows in which to do what we want to do, or to do what God has called us to do. Do I have a tomorrow? I don't know, but I have hope.

Hope is something Peter said most poverty stricken people need the most. Compassion gave him hope. Of course, we know that Jesus offers us a hope beyond this world. In fact that hope is secured through Jesus Christ, if only we say, "Yes." If our hope for a future life is secured then maybe we should not concern ourselves with that as much as receiving from Gods' hand our daily bread.

What does today hold for me? Whatever may come I know God is good. He not only gives me hope for the future but He supplies me with grace for today. Oh, yes, God is good all the time! It is Gods' nature! Thank you Peter for making this real to me again!

Good God, Thank You for giving me hope and grace. You are enough and all we really need. I forget so quickly when things do not go as I have planned. Forgive me, Father God, and remind me when I forget. I do not know if I have a tomorrow. You do. Today I ask You Lord, to give me my daily bread!

A Bridge Over Muddy Waters

Unresolvable conflicts that seem settled by the warring parties agreeing to go forward instead of drowning in the muddy waters can be a confusing victory. Neither side has resolved the issue to their satisfaction, but pleasantries are made and there is hope that the muddy waters will not rise up and flood the landscape again. It happens with individuals, political opponents as well as countries. Peace, peace where there is no peace.

I don't like settling for building a bridge when true resolution can take place with civil honest communication. Listening is a big part of this kind of discussion. Listening, not only with our minds and feelings, but also with our hearts, is crucial to the success of any peace talk. I am not perfect at listening but I am learning to be a better listener. I want to be better anyway.

Being a good listener requires discipline. Using our ears to hear words and inflections and our eyes to watch body language takes practice. Like driving a car there is much to think about but the most important is to watch the road, or in the case of listening, to hear with understanding. We may adjust our perceptions by asking questions. We may have to discipline our thoughts to stay on target, and not wander to wheat will I say when it is my turn. Again, I must say that listening is difficult to learn and even more difficult to perfect.

I am glad that God is a good listener. He hears our prayers and is always in tune with what our hearts are crying out. But what about me listening to Him? Taking time to learn to recognize His voice above the din surrounding our lives is worth the effort. His voice comforts, disciplines, guides, and sends messages of love. It is in hearing His voice that the bridges can be built and the two sides of a conflict can move to neutral ground and watch the muddy waters be healed and their hearts washed clean.

Forgiving God, Hearer of our prayers and our hearts that cry out from hurts and confusion, I open my heart to You and pour out all the muddy water that I have inside. Heal me, Lord, and bring those I've hurt to the place of healing as well. Thank You for Your kindness in listening to me, a sinful woman. Your love is greater! Thank You is not enough, i want to live my life within Your words. Help me.

The Weapon of Silence

My Dad was not much of a disciplinarian. He would mostly use one weapon against us. It has stuck with me as the most hurtful of any act of anger. Silence. If Dad became displeased with us, he would become silent. He would refuse to talk to us, and even our begging to be forgiven would be met with his silent treatment until he was ready to release us.

Silence is so very hard for me to deal with, even today. I perceive any silence as a punishment. If I don't hear from a friend in awhile or my children fail to share important events with me, I feel chastened and over think my actions and words, wondering what I have done wrong. I become desperate if I don't hear my Lords' voice either. His silences push me deeper into His word and quiet times of prayer where I can sit and listen intently for His tender voice. I am so very glad that his silences with me are very short lived.

Sadly, I must admit that I sometimes use silence as a weapon also. I clam up when I've been hurt or become angry. I can't stay silent long though. I know its power to injure. In my silence I try to find words to build a bridge or be a patch to repair what is wrong. I still don't know what to do when forced into a silence because another person won't open the door when I knock.

It must be very sad indeed for our Heavenly Father to bear our silences. He has let it be known that He wants us to converse with Him at all times(I Thes.5 :17). He doesn't like our silences either. How can He answer our cries for help if we never cry out to Him?

Heavenly Father, You sent Your word to tell us of Your love for us. Your Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts and reveals wisdom every time we ask. Your silences are only meant to draw us deeper into Your presence. Thank You for being that still small voice dwelling within me every day, all day. Forgive me for using silence as a weapon against those I want to hurt. Teach me a better way. Remind me to come to You when I am hurt by others silence. Your presence will heal all my wounds.

The Bad Guy

I have found myself in a simple, turned complex, conflict with a family member. I am confused and uncertain as to how to patch things up. No matter how hard I try, things get more tangled and stressful. "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when once we practice to deceive!" (Shakespeare?) It does not matter what other deception is taking place. My deception is in trying to hide the truth so that everything would blow over. Unfortunately the tangled web is tightening around me, and I have become the bad guy in all of it.

The one thing I know to be true is that I am willing to lay aside being right so that the relationship can be restored. It is so very hard to do that. It seems that every day I have to beat down the pride in my heart that rises up to say, "I am right!" I do not want to be the bad guy! I want to be right!

The more I pray about it though the more I hear The Holy Spirit guide me to put all that is right aside and let go of the matter. God will take care of it all in His time. I must admit that Jesus did the same for me. He became the "Bad Guy" (sin) for me. He took the weight of all my wrongs and let me go. Was it as hard for Him as it is for me? Maybe. But then, maybe not. He is perfect in love and I have so far to go. His love goes beyond my sin. My love, even for family, goes only as far as the love they give back.

Father in Heaven, forgive my lack of love for my family. Forgive me for not following Your example of sacrifice. You are Love and Forgiveness, and I have received it all from You. You are perfect Love. Thank You for being the "Bad Guy" for me. Help me to be the bad guy for my family and anyone else You call me to die for. Make my sacrifice a testament to YOU and only You. Bring my loved ones and myself closer to You in the process. I trust in You and Your word that promises life to those who will not cling to life. Help me be strong for You.

Bling is Bling

I've been invited to two jewelry parties. I attended one last Saturday and will be present for the next one in a few weeks. Though I don't wear a lot of jewelry, I do have a few items in my bling box that I wear with pride.

I have necklaces, earrings, bracelets, pins, and rings that adorn me, with not only beauty, but sweet memories of special times or special people. Beauty can never reside in gold, silver or colorful stones alone. The beauty of jewlry resides in its story to be or the story that was. The story may begin with the first wearer, but it is written over time with the emotions and revelations evoked.

I treasure some simple stories in hand-me-downs from my Mom. One such treasure is a locket she received from her sister. It carries still the tiny picture of her Dad, my Grandfather. When I became the proud owner of the locket it had a missing link on the chain. It was tied together with a green thread. I kept it there for many years, replacing it only when necessary, fearing it would break and the locket lost. The story? Mom doesn't remember how the chain was broken, but she remembers the love she felt wearing it close to her heart.

I have so many other treasures from women who have passed on their jewelry and its stories to me as well: Moms' Mother-of-Pearl cross she wore on her wedding day, a green broach from a dear friend who said it was one of her family treasures, an ornate bracelet given as a re-gift because she wanted me to have a piece of her heart. I have many others, too long to list them all, but all have been cherished because of the ones who gifted them to me along with their stories.

So, as I peruse the catalogs at the "Bling" shows, I think of all those old tarnished pieces. I see the beautiful new and shining bling and wonder what their stories will be in years to come. Will I buy? Will I wear a new piece with the same pride as the old hand-me-down? Maybe more importantly is to whom can I gift my treasured stories? And just maybe that is what God would want me to do.

My sister gives out pearl necklaces to young women she meets that are struggling with knowing how priceless they are. She shares her story and how God has considered each of us the pearl of great price. Sometimes our stories cost us a great deal. To pass on our stories is a precious gift. To add a bit of bling to our stories brings a smile, don't you think?

Father God, You paid a great price to add each of us to Your priceless and precious collection. You are the one greatest and priceless jewel. It is You with which we should desire to adorn ourselves, but so often we settle for plain old bling. I am sure that You love to see us brighten with the beauty of that which You have made. Thank You. Thank you for giving us rich and beautiful gifts. But help us all to let You shine brighter in our lives so that Your glory may be seen!

He is Coming Again!

This mornings Bible Study reminded me that I am to be expecting and ready for Jesus to return to earth. He will come in power and glory and we all will see it when it comes. I don't want to be surprised! I don't need to be if I keep watch for the signs.

How do I know I don't need to be surprised? Simeon and Anna were not surprised when Jesus was taken as an infant to the Temple by Joseph and Mary. They were waiting for Him and recognized His coming through the working of the Holy Spirit. (See Luke 2:22-38) Having the Holy Spirit dwell in me, I too can recognize Jesus' coming. The questions I ask myself are: Am I looking for the signs of His coming? Do I expect Him to complete His promise to return?

My life should reflect my belief that Jesus will return. I should be ready to follow the Holy Spirit in all things. I should be studying Gods' word to not just know the signs of his coming but to know Him. I should be doing the work that He has called me to do. I don't know when the Master will return but I know He will. I can't worry over the signs but prepare when I see them. In all of this we have hope. We have a hope that when Jesus returns all things will be made right!

Eternal and True God, you are faithful to Your Word! You gave Your servant, Simeon what You promised. You will fulfill every promise and so I trust You to return and the appointed time. Till then i want my heart to be expecting and seeking. I thank You for reminding me in Your Word to do just that! You are an awesome God and worthy of Praise!