Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Weapon of Silence

My Dad was not much of a disciplinarian. He would mostly use one weapon against us. It has stuck with me as the most hurtful of any act of anger. Silence. If Dad became displeased with us, he would become silent. He would refuse to talk to us, and even our begging to be forgiven would be met with his silent treatment until he was ready to release us.

Silence is so very hard for me to deal with, even today. I perceive any silence as a punishment. If I don't hear from a friend in awhile or my children fail to share important events with me, I feel chastened and over think my actions and words, wondering what I have done wrong. I become desperate if I don't hear my Lords' voice either. His silences push me deeper into His word and quiet times of prayer where I can sit and listen intently for His tender voice. I am so very glad that his silences with me are very short lived.

Sadly, I must admit that I sometimes use silence as a weapon also. I clam up when I've been hurt or become angry. I can't stay silent long though. I know its power to injure. In my silence I try to find words to build a bridge or be a patch to repair what is wrong. I still don't know what to do when forced into a silence because another person won't open the door when I knock.

It must be very sad indeed for our Heavenly Father to bear our silences. He has let it be known that He wants us to converse with Him at all times(I Thes.5 :17). He doesn't like our silences either. How can He answer our cries for help if we never cry out to Him?

Heavenly Father, You sent Your word to tell us of Your love for us. Your Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts and reveals wisdom every time we ask. Your silences are only meant to draw us deeper into Your presence. Thank You for being that still small voice dwelling within me every day, all day. Forgive me for using silence as a weapon against those I want to hurt. Teach me a better way. Remind me to come to You when I am hurt by others silence. Your presence will heal all my wounds.

No comments: