Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Bad Guy

I have found myself in a simple, turned complex, conflict with a family member. I am confused and uncertain as to how to patch things up. No matter how hard I try, things get more tangled and stressful. "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when once we practice to deceive!" (Shakespeare?) It does not matter what other deception is taking place. My deception is in trying to hide the truth so that everything would blow over. Unfortunately the tangled web is tightening around me, and I have become the bad guy in all of it.

The one thing I know to be true is that I am willing to lay aside being right so that the relationship can be restored. It is so very hard to do that. It seems that every day I have to beat down the pride in my heart that rises up to say, "I am right!" I do not want to be the bad guy! I want to be right!

The more I pray about it though the more I hear The Holy Spirit guide me to put all that is right aside and let go of the matter. God will take care of it all in His time. I must admit that Jesus did the same for me. He became the "Bad Guy" (sin) for me. He took the weight of all my wrongs and let me go. Was it as hard for Him as it is for me? Maybe. But then, maybe not. He is perfect in love and I have so far to go. His love goes beyond my sin. My love, even for family, goes only as far as the love they give back.

Father in Heaven, forgive my lack of love for my family. Forgive me for not following Your example of sacrifice. You are Love and Forgiveness, and I have received it all from You. You are perfect Love. Thank You for being the "Bad Guy" for me. Help me to be the bad guy for my family and anyone else You call me to die for. Make my sacrifice a testament to YOU and only You. Bring my loved ones and myself closer to You in the process. I trust in You and Your word that promises life to those who will not cling to life. Help me be strong for You.
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