Waiting to Live

My brother is dying. Cancer is slowly depleting his strength and stealing his body's ability to sustain life. It has been a long sad time.

Early in the summer we heard the news that the cancer we thought was gone had returned. The prognosis was very poor. He would not survive this, but chemo could help curb the symptoms. He decided that he would not let the doctors intervene and so the waiting began.

The family waits and prays in faith that God will heal him with a miracle. The weaker he becomes the more we pray a litany of requests for him: healing, no pain, getting to see everyone he wants to see, completing his project, more days. God has answered our requests, except for healing.

DJ is a young man by modern standards. Fifty eight years is much too young to face death. I have thought that asking for more days would be enough but why not ask for years? Cancer is a thief. The years have been stolen. We can only hold on to the treasure of each day.

God has been so good to me during this time of waiting. He has given me peace and hope that is so real that I feel it as a presence surrounding me. Songs and scriptures hold a new meaning for me as I hear them amid the realities I face. My prayers have become thought-filled. I question my thinking and avow my convictions with passion. I ask with living faith. And so it was this past Sunday as I spoke to God saying, "I don't want to wait for DJ to die!" My Father in Heaven responded quickly saying, "Wait for him to live!" His words have changed me. I now wait for my brother DJ to live. I wait for him to live eternally. That is my hope and my peace. God the Almighty Sovereign and Good Father is drawing DJ to himself. Every day gives my brother time to choose life, life eternal. It is in God's faithfulness that I trust and wait.

Father God, You are my security. You have given me all I need to face this sad time. I am so glad that You have turned my waiting for death into waiting for life! I know I can trust You. Thank You for every blessing and every lesson I am learning from this time. Thank You for being strong when I am weak. I ask only that I remember these days and not forget the things You have done. I love You, Lord.