I would like to think I am connected to other people, but I confess I don't always feel connected. Family, friends, church, and other connecting places don't always look or feel touchable.
I don't think I am alone in this thinking. I really think that most of us walk through our day talking and interacting with others without really pushing past the exterior facade. We never really touch the real person who lives out of reach safe behind our fears and insecurities. We don't take the time or make the effort to tear down the walls. We simply smile and walk past.
I also don't think I am alone in longing to be real with others. I want to touch and be touched. I want to be known and to know. The question is: How do we get over or around the wall? How do we break down the barriers? I am guessing it has to start with me being vulnerable. If I open my heart will someone else do the same? Or will my vulnerability prove to be painful and push me further into my self-made tower of protection?
In the past I have tried and failed. I have also tried and been surprised by success though short lived or small. Lately I've been protective, but I know I must lay down my shield and allow others into my real world where my reality will show itself in all my strengths and weaknesses. Scary? Yes! But an adventure awaits for me, an adventure of life!
I am scared to open myself to others, Father. I do not want to be hurt. You are my strength and You know all about me, so I trust that You will guide me. You will always be my safe refuge!