Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Questions & Answers

Questions are surrounding me lately. I've always thought that I was good at asking questions, and I am, when they are aimed at someone else. The hard part is asking questions of myself. It isn't that I avoid asking myself where I am heading, what I am meant to do, or who I am. I ask all the time!

It is difficult to find the answers to my self examinations. I figure if I can answer correctly then I could find a way to change the messes I make on a daily basis. Since I don't seem to get concrete answers, I seem to wander around the same questions over and over again. It is a bit frustrating!

Lately, I have again been wondering why the "Me" on the inside does not seem to fit in my outside world. I know who I am on the inside. I know my values, passions, desires and dreams. I've worked hard discovering the things I do well and how to use them, but trying to put those things into my world just doesn't seem to fit. Like the square peg in a round hole, it seems an impossible task. Unfortunately the more I push and work to make it fit the more discouraged I become.

Writing this out I keep hearing the Holy Spirit say, "Integrity." Yes, that is what I want. I want integrity! I want my inner life and my outward actions to be integrated! It is being genuine, honest, unimpaired. The question now is this not what I have been doing? I thought it was. Maybe it isn't.

Lord, You are the glue that holds my life together. You teach me daily what to do and I am working hard at obeying Your voice. I know that I am not perfect, nor will I be. I know that You are perfection and You will complete the good work You have started in my life. Lord, teach me integrity of my inner life and the life others see. Teach me how to become whole and genuine so that You will be seen in the world through me!
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