I've started the new year on a down note. It has not been an extreme low, but it hasn't begun how I wanted it to be.
I won't go into details but my thoughts are my biggest problem. It seems that no matter what is happening I think a negative thought or look at the situation as less than what it should be. GRRRRR. I really don't like being a bear growling about and scaring people away. Now if I were a Teddy Bear that was cuddly and kind and a comfort to others that would be great! But the past few days I haven't been.
I've been angry...over what, I am not sure I even have a good reason for my anger. I have sought for one, but it only lands on innocent people who have no intentions of provoking me.
I've been sad....mostly that I cannot change things that are going on around me. I also am not the person I want to be, do what I want to do (and earn a living at it), or fulfill the roles of wife, mother, friend and grandmother with the joy and integrity and blessing I want to be in those roles.
I interpret the actions , words, and silences of family and friends and surmise who I am from that, BUT my Heavenly Father has spoken to me this morning. He has told me that He knows my heart. He knows everything about me, and HE alone can judge who I am. The hard part for me is to shut my eyes and ears to those around me and keep my eyes and ears focused on HIM!
So, going with my goal for this year to send God's message, I will close my eyes and ears to the world and open them to my all knowing all loving Father. I hope you will see a change in me and you will get the message of the Fathers' love.