Jesus often asks me, "Do you believe?" When I pray for a healing, or for help in some way, He will ask me if I believe. It is futile to tell Him "Yes, I believe," when I have doubts. He knows my thoughts and my heart. So I have learned to be honest with Him and with myself over the things I pray for.
Being Honest, even with God, is not easy sometimes. Claiming myself to be a believer, makes me want to say, "I believe." I can believe in His resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead, but do I believe His resurrection power can heal disease now? I believe that He can set people free from bondage, but do I believe it for myself? for the really tough cases?
Do my hesitations make me a doubter, not a believer? Am I double minded believing one time and doubting the next? Is it me, or is it the enemy of our faith that shadows my inconsistent belief? Does my Heavenly Father expect purity in my belief, or does He accept my doubts as a wonderful challenge to prove His love for me?
Father, I have many questions today, but even with my questions I know You are the answer. You are Truth and Giver of all good gifts. You withhold nothing from those who come to You seeking honest answers. I feel guilty not believing You. I know in my heart that You are good but You are so far beyond myself that I cannot see or understand Your ways in the world. When I do see I am amazed and believe more, but so often, I do not see. Thank You for Your Word and Your presence in my life. Thank You for Your voice that speaks to me in times of doubt. I believe. Help my unbelief!